


the prince with specific tastes; the king with specific regrets

by SamCyberCat



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Character Study, Consensual Sex, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Hand Jobs, M/M, Only One Bed, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Romance, Slow Burn, The Love Is Requited They're Just Idiots, it's slowburn baby, some tagged ships are for later as well, the rating is for later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:53:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 52,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamCyberCat/pseuds/SamCyberCat
Summary: “Lord Zeus, I call upon you!”...Wait, Zeus?But Zagreus already has Zeus's Aid on his side. Surely the Gods of Olympus cannot double-book themselves.The moment is tense. Usually, this would be when Theseus surges with power and becomes invulnerable for a short while, as he barrages Zagreus with an assault from the god of his choosing. In this case, Zeus, apparently.Yet today, it does not come.Theseus calls for the almighty Zeus and his call is left unanswered.---King Theseus finds that the daemon prince and the Minotaur stir something within him that he wishes could remain long buried. But the past refuses to stay in the past.
Relationships: Asterius | The Minotaur/Theseus (Hades Video Game), Asterius | The Minotaur/Theseus/Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Asterius | The Minotaur/Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Theseus/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 140
Kudos: 113





	1. til zeus do us part

_His companion, his dearest friend in life, sitting a mere few feet away from Theseus, his face frozen in stone, and perhaps this is a crueller punishment than anything that the Furies have subjected Theseus to over the last few months. From here, Theseus can still see every detail, right down to the fear in his eyes. Pirithous was- **...is** beautiful, but perhaps Theseus doesn't find him as beautiful as he wishes that he did._

_Back when Pirithous came to him with a reckless plan to steal away Queen Persephone, Theseus – young, naïve and with little to his name, save for a desperate desire to convince himself that he's attracted to Pirithous – chose to venture with him, into the depths of Tartarus._

_They hadn't lasted long. No sooner had they set down to rest on the rocks for a moment, when Lord Hades had them and would not forgive such as crime as was their intentions. Pirithous was sealed as stone and so was Theseus, but the difference is that the prince has been awake and aware of his surroundings for all this time, while Pirithous has not. He does not know why Hades decided to punish him harsher than Pirithous, perhaps being an accomplice is a greater crime, but he just knows that it is his fate to remain here, half stone and the half that isn't stone burning in constant agony, looking across from his dearest friend as a testimony to his failure._

_Prince Theseus achieved nothing in life, for all he yearned to. His mind filled with tales of the great heroes, resting eternally in Elysium. He would now never be amongst them. The most that Theseus had ever achieved was slaying a centaur at Pirithous's wedding. He still thought of the centaur more than he'd like to admit._

_It is when he is resigned to nothing that the Fates decide to throw him a chance. Perhaps they still have plans for Theseus yet._

_The figure that appears before him is someone who Theseus immediately knows, despite having never met them before this moment. The true greatest hero, larger than life and, somehow, possibly with even more to prove than Theseus himself._

**_Heracles._ **

_Why he is here, Theseus does not know. All he knows is that when Heracles raises his hands, suddenly the stone retreats back, becoming flesh and blood once more with a shock to Theseus's system. The pain is unbearable. All pride aside, Theseus falls from where he has been sat frozen to the rocky ground beneath him, weak body shaking and retching, coughing up sand that quickly transforms back to blood. Yet he is alive. At least, he is himself. No one is alive here._

_And still Pirithous remains. As Theseus stares hazily at Pirithous's stone feet, he finds himself effortlessly pulled up by Heracles. Yes, he needs to stand. He needs to find out exactly what is going on. Foremost, he needs to help Pirithous._

_“Y-you'll save him, too?”_

_His voice crackles, still partly stone, but mostly himself now._

_Heracles shakes his head, but not in a remorseful way. He almost seems amused by this. Arrogant. Theseus must not forget that this man is part god himself, part of Zeus, no less._

_“I could not barter for him, only for you,” Heracles states._

_Why...?_

_The question does not leave Theseus's lips. There is too much here that he does not understand and he realises that, now that he is in a position to find the answers, he is afraid of them. Prince Theseus is quite often afraid._

_Heracles is already leaving and Theseus must follow him. Yet before he does, Theseus regards the statue of his closest friend one last time. He reaches out a hand to stroke tenderly down Pirithous's face, resting a thumb on his cheek and shedding a tear for him. Pirithous was a stunningly beautiful man. Theseus tells himself that he was in love with him. He is lying._

_Reluctantly, he steps away, turning to follow Heracles as the two of them ascend the underworld together. For Heracles to even be here undisturbed, he must have been granted permission. He must have reasoned with the Lord and his Queen, or perhaps both. Heracles used cunning words, where Theseus and Pirithous had failed to use cunning stealth. And yet, Heracles is a giant! An undefeated champion himself. Should he have wanted to, Heracles could have gotten here by force._

_It turns out that he may well have to use that method to leave._

_Undisturbed they are throughout their journey, but once the two of them reach the Temple of Styx, they are greeted by the ferocious beast, Cerberus, the hell-hound himself. Cerberus moves for no one and cannot be reasoned with._

_This is when Heracles turns back to Theseus._

_“I need you to help me get past this.”_

_So that's it. That's the catch. When it comes down to it, what choice does Theseus have? Heracles has rescued him and the alternate was to stay encased in stone, staring at the weight of his failure forever. Who wouldn't choose to at least try to escape and have a second chance to prove themselves?_

_Prince Theseus readies his spear. He shall not remain in the underworld.  
  
_

* * *

  
The heavy doors slide open and the roar of the crowd is instantly deafening. Had this been Zagreus's first time, he might've been in awe of this, but as it stands, Zagreus has entered this very coliseum many times. It's getting too many to count.

There is no fear in his eyes as he heads inside to greet his opponents. Once upon a time, they had seemed nearly unbeatable, but that was... quite a while ago. By now, Zagreus has been the victor many times. Challenging they may still be, but even that challenge is lessened as Zagreus betters himself. He feels no shame in admitting this and would say so when confronted. There is a part of him that feels guilty about how many times he's sent Meg and even his own father back to the House, but when it comes to King Theseus, no one deserves to have their losses rubbed in their face more.

“Asterius. Other guy.”

It's a routine at this point. A ritual. Even if not for the fact that it's now literally Zagreus's job to come up here and fight them as often as he desires. _And oh, does he desire that._ From the moment Theseus opens his mouth, Zagreus just wants to wipe the grin off his face.

“The daemon returns! Pray do you falsely believe that you might find victory against myself and my dearest friend?”

Zagreus rolls his eyes.

“I have done over a hundred other times, what makes you think today will be any different? With no disrespect to Asterius, of course.”

He gets no response from Asterius. He never does, yet it doesn't stop Zagreus from trying. Perhaps one day, the Minotaur will realises that he's wasted being stuck at the king's side and will finally stop resisting Zagreus's many attempts to befriend him. Yet that day is clearly not today.

With the “pleasantries” out of the way, the battle soon commences. The crowd of shades will get what they came to see. Zagreus surges forward, tactics already in mind, based on the boons that he's acquired from the gods. These two heroes cannot plan for Zagreus – he's different every time. But Zagreus can plan for them.

It doesn't take long for his god gauge to charge up enough so that he can strike out with the aid of Zeus, something that Zagreus does to test the waters. It is incredibly rare that Zagreus and Theseus enlist the help of the same god during their battles. If Zagreus can successfully do this, then he can bank on Theseus not calling on Zeus this time.

Sure enough, lightning strikes across the ground. But as it does, for just a fraction of a second, Zagreus thinks he sees surprise in Theseus's face. Not that Zagreus makes a habit of trying to read the man, but it is an odd reaction, given that Zagreus has called for Zeus many times before.

He dismisses this and the battle continues. It never takes long these days. Within minutes, Zagreus can see that he's already beaten the king down to the point when he always snaps. Zagreus steps back, narrowly avoiding the swinging axe of Asterius, keeping his eyes on Theseus as he waits for it...

“Lord Zeus, I call upon you!”

...Wait, Zeus?

But Zagreus already has Zeus's Aid on his side. Surely the Gods of Olympus cannot double-book themselves.

The moment is tense. Usually, this would be when Theseus surges with power and becomes invulnerable for a short while, as he barrages Zagreus with an assault from the god of his choosing. In this case, Zeus, apparently.

Yet today, it does not come.

Theseus calls for the almighty Zeus and his call is left unanswered.  
  


* * *

  
_“There might be another way.”_

_Prince Theseus hears these words leave his mouth, as he glances around the large chamber. He can see a series of tunnels off to the left. If they are to search these together, then they will surely happen upon a solution. But Heracles is having none of it._

_“Do you fear the beast?” Heracles asks, raising his club, “It will not withstand us.”_

_I fear **for** the beast._

_Again, Theseus does not speak these words. He knows how foolish they are. The hound of hell is but an obstacle, the last thing standing in the way of their freedom. Yet when Theseus looks upon its three heads, somehow, all he can see is a dog. Heracles can and will defeat this creature. Why Heracles even needs the help of a forgotten prince is honestly beyond Theseus._

_“What will come of him?” Theseus does manage to say that much, “He is here for a reason. If you- ...if **we** destroy him, won't that leave these gates unguarded for all to pass?”_

_“You truly do know nothing of this. I honestly admire you and your friend for coming here so ill-prepared. Bold.” Heracles says; he doesn't need to add “stupid” for Theseus to hear it; “Cerberus will reform. They all do. It will be back here again before long, but by that time, we'll be long gone.”_

_So he won't die? That leaves Theseus feeling marginally better about the situation._

_Still doesn't answer the question of why Heracles needs him for this, though._

_...He gets that answer mere moments later, when the large hand on Heracles smacks against his back, slapping him forward. All three heads of Cerberus turn to Theseus, fangs bared._

_Heracles wanted bait. That's why he brought Theseus here._

_By the time Theseus realises this, it's already too late. Cerberus descends upon him, pinning him down with his paws, Theseus's spear is sent spinning away across the marble floor. The hound's duty is to prevent anyone from leaving and he will soon send Theseus back down the Styx before the prince can ever see the light of day. Some hero he's turned out to be._

_The moment Theseus accepts this fate is the moment that Cerberus is knocked off him, yelping in a way that still sounds far too much like a dog for Theseus's liking. He pulls himself up from the floor. The battle immediately beyond him, as these two godly beings rage against each other._

_Yet Theseus is still in the line of fire. One of the heads turns from Heracles, pale eyes fixing on Theseus. The next thing Theseus knows, a large paw has swiped at him, not with the intent to kill, but only because it doesn't need to, not when Theseus is so close to the ledge._

_Theseus loses his footing, falling from the pristine floor into the depths of the waters below.  
  
_

* * *

  
Asterius knows that the battle is lost the moment that doubt takes hold of his king. The Minotaur does not know the answer as to why Zeus decided to aid the short one instead of Theseus, but he knows that Theseus will have already come to his own conclusion in his mind. Perhaps Theseus believes he can hide his insecurities, but Asterius has known him long enough by now to be able to read him better than any other.

Sure enough, it isn't long before the king falls.

It is often Asterius who falls first, so reckless that he always is in his desire to assist Theseus. But today, Theseus's confidence is shaken. Zagreus capitalises on this, making use of Zeus's Aid, which has been granted to him alone.

This is the part that riles Asterius the most. The moment that Theseus disappears from the coliseum, Asterius's axe smashes down towards Zagreus, only narrowly blocked by the prince's own shield. Asterius leans in close.

“You fight without honour, short one. This tactic is underhanded.”

“Please. If the situation was reversed, he'd have done the same and you know it,” Zagreus retorts, mustering his strength to knock Asterius back; “The gods favoured me today. They've sided against me enough times before.”

To Zagreus, this means nothing. Merely the flip of a coin. A trifle. Perhaps he is right, Asterius would like to think, and Zeus chose to side with him on but a whim. Even so, Theseus won't see it that way.

Asterius wants to comfort his king. This battle is already over. His heart is not in it. The short one can tell this as well and Asterius can sense his disappointment when, soon after, Zagreus vanquishes Asterius as he did Theseus. But Asterius does not care. It isn't Zagreus's feelings that he wants to spare.

As always is the case after being defeated, Asterius finds himself returned to his own chambers in Elysium. Usually, it is sensible to wait there for a while, lying in his bed as his body re-orientates. Asterius is only glad that he doesn't recover in the same way that a lot of the lesser-known warriors of Elysium do, as that sounds like an annoyance. He is reformed as himself. Regardless, today, Asterius doesn't even wait. He pulls himself up from the bed, ignoring the brief feeling of nausea. It will soon pass.

Once he's up, Asterius leaves the chambers, following a route he knows by heart. Although, despite his familiarity, he goes to Theseus's chambers less than one might think. They are tied together, by fate and an unspoken desire for each other's companionship, but it wouldn't be Asterius's place to come here uninvited, at least not usually, and in truth, his king does not usually invite him here. The two of them spend much of their existence together, but that is extends to the coliseum and the training grounds. Asterius would be too bold to assume that it extends anywhere else.

When Asterius reaches his destination, he it greeted by the sight that he expects to see. Theseus is sat on the edge of his bed, shoulders slumped and without the urge to fight that he usually possesses. Asterius still recalls the very first time that the short one defeated Theseus, how the king had immediately marched back to the coliseum and awaited a rematch. Then came the second and third time. Eventually, Zagreus was winning more than he was losing. On the outside, Theseus remained as confident as ever, but it has taken its toll, even if Asterius is the only one who can see this.

“King...”

Asterius softly announces his arrival, entering uninvited for the first time. Theseus raises his head and gives the kind of smile that he reserves only for Asterius, but even this is a mask to hide his wounded pride, as are his words.

“Ah, Asterius! Are you eager to return to the battlefield after such a defeat? I can hardly blame you. If you give me but a few minutes, I shall join you, my friend.”

Asterius sighs, stepping closer, until he is standing in front of Theseus; “Please, my king, you do not need to put on a brave face for me. The hand you were dealt today was not fair. Your loss cannot be blamed on your skills.”

These words don't reach Theseus in the way that Asterius intends them to, but at least Theseus is honest about this. His shoulders slump and he speaks openly to Asterius, in a rare display of vulnerability.

“Perhaps not this time, dear Asterius, but all the other times can be,” he says, “Zeus sided with the daemon because that vile hellspawn has become... the superior warrior. This is how the gods display their favouritism.”

Asterius would like to claim that Theseus does not know this for sure, but he'd wager that Theseus knows more about the whims of the gods than he does. So instead, Asterius speaks of his own feelings, which he understands better than that of the gods.

“The short one comes to us each time with advantages granted to no mortal, yet still he struggles. We alone in Elysium can contain him, my king. You would do well to remember your achievements,” Asterius says. Yet Theseus lets out a harsh _'tsch!'_ upon hearing the last part, which is not a tone he has ever taken with Asterius before. In the face of this, Asterius finds himself compelled to pry perhaps further than he should; “...My king, may I ask why you called upon Zeus, knowing that the short one already had him on his side?”

In all of their previous battles, Theseus seems to have an uncanny ability to call upon a god who has not yet presented Zagreus with their aid. Even when there is some overlap with the boons, Theseus and Zagreus never attempt the same call at the same time.

“I suppose I was curious,” Theseus admits, “And now I have my answer. Foolish am I to believe that Zeus of all gods would choose me, even over a lowly creature from the depths. Perhaps even a lesser god would not choose me, the way this has been going.”

“King, do not say this.”

Asterius reaches forward, placing a huge hand on Theseus's shoulder. It jolts Theseus out of whatever trance he's lost himself to, but, as with Asterius's words, does not have the desired effect.

“Asterius, I... thank you for your kindness and your pity. But could you... please leave me for just a while? I promise that once we return to the coliseum for our next bout, I will be as you expect to see me.”

Which is part of the problem. Asterius does not want to see the mask. He wants to see the man beneath it. All the same, he cannot deny such a direct request from his king. He removes his hand, feeling foolish for having placed it there in the first place. Whatever Asterius's feelings are, he reminds himself that he should not push them onto Theseus.

“As you wish, my king.”

When Asterius shows himself out, he leaves Theseus in an unusual silence.  
  


* * *

  
_The water spikes up inside Theseus's very being, attempting to cling to him and drag him into the depths, with all the other doomed souls, until several harsh slaps from Heracles dislodges the water from him. It is not normal water. Theseus should be long dead and he feels more seen by the psychopomps than he ever has done before. There isn't much time._

_“I saved you again. That makes twice,” Heracles announces, clearly keeping score._

_Yet Theseus cannot fault the man for saving his life. He runs a hand through his soaked and matted hair, looking wildly around for any sign of Cerberus. But the hell-hound cannot be seen. Heracles must have dealt with him while Theseus was preoccupied with drowning in the Styx, and only dived to Theseus's rescue when it was safe to do so._

_Now, the only thing standing between the two of them and freedom is a door._

_Theseus glances over his shoulder, sensing the eyes of the boatman upon him, drawing closer, closer **closer...**_

_“We need to leave.”_

_Once they get through the doors, they'll be safe. They'll have won. Even Charon won't be able to drag him back to Tartarus, no matter how much the prince deserves to be left there to rot with Pirithous._

_It is frustrating that Heracles takes some amusement in Theseus's haste. Clearly, this is nothing to him. Even so, Theseus owes Heracles his life, quite literally at this point. That fact isn't lost on either of them. So Theseus holds back, allowing Heracles his swagger and keeping a nervous eye over his shoulder as the gigantic son of Zeus pushes open the grand doors to the underworld. So often are these doors leading in, but on this one occasion, they are leading out, permitting two of their number to leave._

_The sun is bright and low in the sky. Early afternoon on a winter's day. The crisp snow crunches beneath Theseus's feet and he feels the chill in the air, he actually feels it. So overwhelmed he is that he might stay here, dumbstruck, without Heracles pulling his arm and ushering him forward._

_“We're not out of danger just yet,” Heracles announces, “Just a little further, through that gate, then we'll be out of his domain for good. Hades should grant me passage, we had an agreement, but the blasted hound wasn't part of that. I don't trust my uncle.”_

_That lays to rest some of Theseus's unasked questions from before. Heracles bartered with Lord Hades himself. Although why he would do this for the life of a stranger, Theseus does not know._

_Their feet move swiftly and they make it through the gate. From what Heracles has just said, now the two of them are actually alive once more._

_Theseus falls to the ground, into the snow, sobbing wretchedly as he lets this feeling wash over him. He's alive! He can return home to his father a-and it will be difficult to explain what became of Pirithous, but his friend's story deserves to be told and now Theseus is here to tell it. The prince has a second chance to prove he is something. Some borrowed time to live on, before he is undoubtedly returned to Tartarus, unless he can show the gods that he is worthy of better._

_After a few moments of sobbing loudly, he feels Heracles's foot on his shoulder, pushing Theseus onto his side, so Heracles can take a look at him, seeming just as entertained by Theseus's reaction as he had been in the underworld. This is nothing to Heracles. Just another day. Yet still, now that they are safe, Theseus is curious._

_“W-why did you help me?” he asks._

_“It was but one of my tasks, nothing personal. It was between you or the hound and you were just easier to drag back,” Heracles explains. Theseus could've been anyone, that's all there is to it; “Be thankful that the gods above took mercy on you.”_

_Certainly, Heracles cannot see why. If he's honest, neither can Theseus._

_The prince pushes himself up from the snow, shifting his blonde hair back over his shoulders – that's going to take some fixing later. Despite being told that he's inconsequential, this doesn't change the fact that Heracles saved him._

_“I thank you, brave hero,” Theseus says, breathlessly._

_Heracles smirks._

_“You owe me a debt you cannot repay, Theseus. Don't forget that.”  
  
_

* * *

  
**You owe me a debt you cannot repay, Theseus. Don't forget that.**

King Theseus has not forgotten it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I don't claim to be a Greek mythology expert by any stretch of the imagination, but just a head's up in case anyone's keeping track: for this fic, certain events in Theseus's life will happen out of order to the actual legends. In this case, Theseus is saved from hell the first time much earlier, before he slays Asterius (and honestly before he does much of anything, but we'll get to that).


	2. goth jock vs bully jock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As his face meets the dirt over and over, Prince Zagreus is given yet another example of why meeting your heroes is often a bad idea.
> 
> Theseus isn't exactly happy to see his ex turn up in Elysium, either.

The Prince of the Underworld completes the rest of his journey without incident, finding the satyr sack relatively early in his hunt through the Temple of Styx and being presented with no real challenges. Which allows for his mind to fixate on Asterius's words and, if he's honest, puts him in something of a foul mood. Zagreus maintains that he did nothing underhanded during the battle – there have been countless times when he has fought Theseus and Asterius without a god's call, while Theseus always calls upon their aid without fail, and is what happened before truly any different to that? All the same, even with his stubborn defiance, he doesn't feel... good about the victory. He can admit that much.

These thoughts distract him the whole time that passes through the gate and heads outside. Meaning that, by the time Zagreus notices anything out of the ordinary, he's already crossed the full length of the snowy clearing and is standing looking into the pool of water on the opposite side.

There is usually someone waiting for him who is not here today.

“Father?”

Zagreus looks around, but there is no sign of Lord Hades or anyone else. He is alone. This has never happened before. There has, thus far, only been one time when his father did not battle him upon his reaching the surface, but even then, he at least showed his face.

“Guess no one's coming...”

Has something happened at the house to prevent Hades from coming here? This thought takes over Zagreus's mind, eclipsing his previous concerns about his fight in Elysium, as he paces around on the spot, burning through the snow to the ground beneath with his fiery feet.

After several minutes of this, Zagreus's patience gives out. The fastest way for him to find out what's going on will be to return to the house, where he'll either find his father or someone else who knows what's going on. So, he leaves through the gate next to the lake, truly entering the world of the living, where natural causes (or some other mishap) shall soon claim his life.

Usually, he would attempt to make his way to his mother's garden, but on this day, Zagreus's mind is filled with dread. He instead dashes to the cliff face, looking out onto the ocean as morning greets him. There is no sense of time in the underworld, but Zagreus is discovering a vague understanding of time purely because it does exist here. It was darker when he arrived and grows lighter as he watches and waits for the Styx to take him once more.

It won't take long, it never does.  
  


* * *

  
_The Prince of Athens busies himself with tying back his hair, as an excuse not to look upon Heracles, as the hero makes to leave. They've spent a full night here, so close to the gates that Theseus was genuinely concerned someone would venture out to collect them, for all of Heracles's assurances that this would not be the case. They have won and Lord Hades is honour-bound to respect that. Besides, Theseus tells himself, there is perhaps more going on in the life of a Chthonic God than two wayward mortals._

_Although, perhaps this is not the case where Heracles is concerned. Rescuing Theseus from the underworld has turned out to be the final of his twelve legendary tasks. Heracles has an eternity of celebration ahead of him, lavished for all of his accomplishments like a true hero._

_That's why Heracles doesn't plan on waiting around. He didn't offer to take Theseus with him, but Theseus would have declined him, even if he had done. Theseus doesn't want to be a footnote in someone else's victory. He still feels wounded from the failure of his shared quest with Pirithous._

_Thus, Heracles leaves without a word. Which certainly hadn't been the case last night. Theseus rests his chin on his drawn-up knees, sighing as he looks out across the ocean and lets his mind wander back to a mere few hours ago._

_Who could have turned down such an invitation? To lie with the greatest hero that may ever exist. Even Theseus would not be such a fool to pass that up. But somewhere deep down inside himself, he knows that, more than anything, he was curious about the logistics of it. Because Heracles is not just some mortal man – he is half god. He is as tall as the gods themselves, even more so than some that Theseus has witnessed in his limited existence. Taking up with Heracles meant figuring out how to work around that, and the side of Theseus that he desperately wishes to ignore was drawn to this._

_Yet of course Theseus is far from the first mortal who Heracles has laid with and, thus, Heracles knew what he was doing. Heracles remained in control the entire time. As Theseus's saviour, the balance of power lay in Heracles's favour and the hero capitalised on that. Not that Theseus was complaining._

_It had been... something, Theseus supposes._

_A step higher on the ladder than laying with a mere mortal man, like Pirithous. But it still did not satisfy those vulgar cravings the prince finds himself saddled with. All the same, he'd never dream of telling Heracles of all people that he'd been a subpar lay._

_Now that it's over, Theseus needs to decide upon his next course of action. He cannot remain here, feeling sorry for himself forever. Especially not when he can feel sorry for himself while on the move._

_There are two methods that Theseus could use to return home. He knows this from when Pirithous meticulously studied how to get here in the first place and Theseus followed along behind him, having done none of the research. He would need that research now._

_The first method is the one that the two of them used to reach this place and is by far the most advisable – by sea. They had sailed together across the waters and, while it would be harder to man the boat alone, Theseus believes that he could either manage this or else enlist some help from elsewhere. This way, Theseus could be almost certain of his safe return, although he'd feel like a dog, coming whimpering home with his tail between his legs._

_The second method is the one that no sane person would attempt – by land. The entrance to the underworld behind Theseus is not the only one to exist. Should the prince attempt to return home across the land, he would pass no less than six other entrances to the underworld and be challenged at each one. Obviously, Pirithous hadn't dreamed of travelling this way when they'd came to this specific entrance to the underworld that he had deemed the best choice for their particular quest. Why would he have?_

_But Pirithous now has nothing to prove in the same way that Prince Theseus does. Perhaps, should Theseus overcome each of these six obstacles, he would be welcomed back to his father's kingdom as a hero and, at the same time, remove all lingering belief from the underworld that Theseus should be returned to Tartarus. Theseus has no basis for this belief, but this has never stopped him before._

_With these thoughts in mind, Theseus pulls himself up to stand, taking hold of the spear that Heracles returned to him when Theseus had lost it during the battle with Cerberus. Something else that Heracles had succeeded at where Theseus had failed...  
  
Taking one last look out at the ocean from the cliff's ledge, Prince Theseus turns to take the other, less travelled, route home.  
  
_

* * *

  
When Zagreus pulls himself up out of the bloody waters and into the house, he first looks to Hypnos, expecting a quip about how the prince had gotten bored of waiting for natural causes to take its course and dived right into the ocean. But it turns out that, at this very moment, Hypnos is the only god in the house paying any attention to Zagreus. Soon enough, Zagreus would know why. As he catches Hypnos's eye, Sleep Incarnate nods to the scene ahead of them, signifying that, while Hypnos can't be bothered to deal with any of this, Zagreus probably should be.

Turning his head, Zagreus soon comes to understand why his father hadn't been there to greet him on the surface – they have guests. By the looks of it, ones who've invited themselves.

“Lord Zeus? I had no idea you were coming,” Zagreus calls, dashing over to where Zeus is stood by his father's throne.

From the curt way that Hades is holding himself, it seems that he also was unaware of Zeus's arrival. Although the bad blood between them has been calmed for the moment, Hades still views his relatives of Olympus as something of an annoyance. The only other time that Zagreus has seen an Olympian God in the House of Hades was during the party, which feels like a while ago now.

“Here he is, my favourite nephew!” Zeus booms, as if Hades needs an introduction to his own son; “Why, I was just telling your father about your latest victory and the inspiration it instilled in me. You'll forgive me for keeping your father from greeting you on the surface, but I have yet another challenge in mind that I'm certain you'll find quite favourable, young man.”

Hades grumbles; “Boy- _...Zagreus,_ your Uncle Zeus has brought... one of his own here to face you. The choice is yours if you will or not.”

“Come now, brother! You do know how to sour any mood, don't you? That is no way to announce such a challenge that will be an epic for the ages. Zagreus, my nephew, allow me to introduce you to the most beloved of all my sons, Heracles.”

With that, Zeus gestures to someone who Zagreus is surprised managed to escape his notice before now. They have a statue of Heracles in the West Hall, where Achilles resides. But now Zagreus can see that the actual Heracles is the same height as the statue itself. In fact, Heracles needs to crouch merely to fit within these walls, although it makes him look no less impressive.

“Wow, giant man. I mean, Heracles, it's an honour to meet you, sir. I have been told of your many deeds.”

Like Zagreus, Heracles is part mortal. That alone has Zagreus curious. It isn't that Zagreus feels out of place here, but there is something about him that is separate to the other gods. Yet at the same time, Zagreus knows so little about the mortals on the surface that he can't claim any kinship with them, either. Perhaps this cousin who Zagreus has never met will share a greater understanding of him.

“Wow, tiny man,” Heracles mocks, mimicking Zagreus's own voice, “You know, Father did say you'd be short, but I hadn't realised how short. Are you sure this will be a challenge for me, Father?”

As Heracles turns to speak with Zeus, Zagreus finds his attention drawn to something else that had been nagging at him for the short time that he's been back. There is a low growl hanging in the air. It takes Zagreus looking around at Cerberus's bed to realise that the hell-hound is not lying there, and yet, the sound is coming from him. 

Cerberus is in the West Hall, an unusual place for him to be, backed up as far as he can get to the wall, staring across at Heracles and growling, while Persephone attempts to comfort him, stroking his fur to soothe him. Zagreus is immediately gripped by concern.

“Mother, is everything all-”

“-so it is decided! Our sons shall face one another in combat at the coliseum of your fair Elysium, to determine who is superior!”

This announcement from Zeus forces Zagreus's attention back onto him.

“Wait, combat? I mean, I'm not opposed to the idea, but it does seem sudden,” Zagreus says, glancing between Zeus and Hades, “Besides, can we just use the coliseum for something like that? Won't we have to clear out Theseus and Asterius first?”

That reminds Zagreus. Before anyone has a chance to answer his questions, he asks Zeus about something else that's been on his mind.

“Uncle Zeus, forgive my asking, but surely you remember that before I came back here, I had your aid with me? Yet Theseus also tried to summon you and you only came to me. Why is that?”

After taking in the question, Zeus allows himself to laugh loudly and Heracles joins in with him. There's something cruel about it. Zagreus tells himself that he doesn't care either way, but even he can notice that. When Zeus is done laughing, he answers Zagreus frankly.

“Why, wouldn't you have done the same in my situation? When asked for help by two warriors, I aided the one who is the worthiest. That Theseus has proven time and time again that he can no longer best you, Zagreus, even with my help. I'm sure being denied it will knock his ego down a peg or two.”

Ouch. Well, Zagreus has his answer.

“No more chatter, Father. Shall we get this show on the road?” Heracles presses, “These dim halls are much too cramped. At least in Elysium, I shall have room to breathe.”

“Thank gods, we're _finally_ getting a move on. I thought you'd all just come here to measure dicks.”

Another unfamiliar voice.

This is when Zagreus realises that Zeus and Heracles are not the only guests they have today. Although, in the shadow of two such grand beings, the third person has gone unnoticed and it's easy to see why.

Zagreus turns to see a complete stranger slink over from near Nyx. A god, that much is obvious. With a certain edge of Chthonic to him, but not someone who Zagreus recognises from down here. A surface god, perhaps? He is tall and... bendy (Zagreus realises this is probably not a good way to describe someone, but it is the first word to come to mind) in a way that is almost similar to that of Hypnos. Yet unlike Hypnos, this god seems to be flaunting his stick-like appearance and there is a harsh edge to his smile, as if he regards everyone as dirt. First impressions are a fickle thing, but Zagreus can't help but think there's something off about him.

Nyx is the one who introduces the new god, although there is a hint of irritation to even her usually calm demeanour.

“My child, you are aware that I have children who you have not yet met, many of whom dwell on the surface. This is my son, Momus, God of Satire and Mockery. I do not know why he is here.”

Plainly, Nyx wishes that he wasn't. Thanatos has mentioned to Zagreus before that Nyx's relationship with some of her children is strained.

Momus rolls his eyes, taking to stand at Heracles's side and only attempting to justify himself now that he's been prompted; “There has been literally nothing else of interest happening since all the heroes passed on, _Mom._ If I had any better option than watching two meatheads throw weapons at each other, trust me, I'd not be insulting you with my presence.”

Perhaps Momus claims not to want to insult Nyx, but the way he calls her “Mom” has such a sharp edge to it. Hypnos sometimes calls her this by accident, but he always quickly corrects himself, because he respects Nyx. That doesn't seem to be the case here.

“Zagreus, you don't have to do this if you don't want to,” Hades cuts in. Like many of Zeus's whimsical antics, Hades must think that this contest of strength is a farce.

But Zagreus shakes his head.

“A challenge is a challenge. Honestly, I'm honoured that the great Heracles would even pay me any heed and I look forward to testing my skills against him.”

He is being honest about that. Zagreus has yet to meet a challenge he'll back down from and this is no exception. Besides, he has been feeling decidedly unchallenged by everything his usual escape attempts offer lately, even with the Pact of Punishment. It might be time to try something new.

“Well, it is kind of hard to pay you any heed all the way down there. But Father vouches for your skills, so I'll at least give you a chance,” Heracles boasts.

He follows this statement up by holding out a giant hand, which Momus reaches up to slap with his own hand in a gesture that Zagreus is entirely unfamiliar with. Both of them look smug. But smug only eggs Zagreus on.

“Bring it on then, Heracles.”  
  


* * *

  
Asterius can't recall the last time that he gazed upon the coliseum from the stands instead of the centre. There is an unusual and sudden match that has been announced today, drawing an even bigger crowd of shades than usual, all keen to witness such a rarity. It is difficult to move amongst them, but fortunately, Asterius's size means that the crowd parts for him.

He soon finds the person he's looking for. The only person who Asterius is ever looking for. It doesn't surprise him that Theseus has come out to watch the match, same as everyone else. But as the king stare down at the coliseum below, arms folded, there is a grim look in his eyes. Theseus doesn't even notice Asterius arrive until they're standing next to each other, which is most unusual.

“My king...”

They haven't seen each other since Theseus sent him away from his room, only a few hours ago, for any value of time that this place has. Now, Theseus speaks, but does not turn his head from the arena.

“I see you've decided to watch the show as well, my noble friend. This whole event is but a feeble flex of status, I'm sure. A mere trifle compared to the superior battles that we grant these spectators every day. Yet, even so, it would be ill-fitting for the Champions of Elysium to snub such a bout, would it not?”

Theseus says this as if they two of them have been specifically invited, when in truth, they've wandered here of their own accord.

There is no need to reply. Asterius isn't one for words, unless they need to be said. Besides, it seems as if the main events is about to get started. The crowd of shades gasp and cheer loudly as the legendary Heracles is materialised on one side of the arena, too large to fit through the gates. Asterius has only heard stories of the man before, but in truth, he has little interest. Theseus is the only hero who Asterius cares about.

But like Theseus, it seems that Heracles plays up for the crowd, basking in their cheers and beckoning for more as he gestures around with his hand, nodding in satisfaction. In this man's mind, he has already won. Asterius finds himself hoping that the short one will send him packing.

That is when something... strange happens. As Heracles looks around at his audience, for a brief moment it seems that he locks eyes with Theseus. Only then does Theseus break his gaze upon the arena, looking away immediately.

Yet after this, Heracles returns to his playing up to the crowd as if nothing has happened and Theseus returns to looking down at him.

Did Asterius imagine that? No, he definitely didn't. The Minotaur does not doubt his own mind. But even so, now is not the time to pry by asking intrusive questions. Nor is it Asterius's place.

Besides, this is when Zagreus makes his entrance. So small that he's barely noticed in the wake of Heracles himself. Certainly, it takes Zeus himself announcing the match for many to even realise he's arrived.

“Shades of Elysium, you are most wise to have come bear witness to such a marvellous events that may never be repeated! A true clash of the gods! I have been humoured by the strength of my brother's son, your own Prince Zagreus, and thus, desire to pit my own son, the hero, Heracles, against him to determine who is the superior godling. May we all be blessed by history in the making!”

This gets another cheer, but Asterius only hears Theseus mutter from next to him.

_“Tsch!_ Typical that he would need an announcement. We don't waste time with anything like that. We just get on with it.”

The truth is, Theseus tends to make his own announcements.

That aside, Asterius's attention is drawn to the arena below when the battle starts. He does not know what to expect from this. While he is familiar with the short one's style of combat, Zagreus does switch up his methods each time and Heracles is a complete unknown to Asterius. It seems that, on this occasion, Zagreus has chosen to go ahead with his spear and this gets a comment from Theseus as they watch Zagreus begin to dash around, trying to get a good angle to strike at Heracles's golden armour.

“You'd think that the bow would've been his choice,” Theseus says, “It doesn't surprise me that the daemon is charging in without thinking, but even his tiny brain must've figured out that he needs to use his size to his advantage. Although perhaps he deems picking him off from a distance to be too cowardly.”

Indeed, that may well be Zagreus's reasoning. Once he's gotten a good grasp on Heracles, Zagreus charges forward, launching himself towards Heracles's back, Varatha in hand. It's a bold move, but foolhardy. Heracles doesn't stand for that, half-turning to swat Zagreus away like he's nothing. The prince goes flying against one of the pillars in the middle of the arena. But it isn't the first time. Asterius's horns have impaled him against those pillars countless times.

In true Zagreus fashion, he is not deterred, springing forward to try again. But again, Heracles is ready for him. After hardly any time at all, it becomes clear that physical assaults aren't going to work. This is when Zagreus switches to his cast, which fires out in the saw blades granted by Ares.

Heracles easily avoids them.

“Stop messing about, daemon, those are far too slow to work on him.”

It seems that, despite his recent mood, Theseus is unable to keep quiet as he watches the match. Indeed, as the fight continues, Theseus's outbursts become more frequent. He grips the railing as he stares down, muttering out insults each time that Zagreus fails to land a hit on Heracles. Yet oddly enough, it doesn't seem like Theseus is siding against Zagreus in this fight, like Asterius expected that he would. If anything, it seems more like his frustration stems from wanting Zagreus to push through. If Asterius didn't know better, he'd go as far as to say that Theseus is rooting for the short one. Hmm.

But root for him or not, it is in vain. Within a few short minutes, the red light and sharp sound signify that Zagreus has lost his first Death Defiance.

“It's nothing. He'll have two more. Three if he has that odd tooth on him,” Theseus says.

Sure enough, Zagreus bounces back, undeterred. Yet he still can't make any headway and it seems as if Heracles is toying with him. The Olympian Hero has made no gambit of his own, but is wearing Zagreus down purely by deflecting his assaults.

It's agonising to watch, as the short one respawns again; one-

“He could've dodged that!”

two-

“Hopeless! Absolutely hopeless!”

-and yes, it appears that he does indeed have the lucky tooth, because he respawns a third time.

“He _has_ to do it this time. He's landed naught even a scratch on him!”

This desperation seems not to be lost on Zagreus, as he dashes behind one of the pillars, briefly stopping to plan his next course of action. Yet he doesn't get the chance.

After being idle for so long, Heracles finally makes a move, pulling back his huge club and charging. But he does not charge directly for Zagreus. Instead, he moves around the left side of the coliseum, the opposite side to where Theseus and Asterius are watching from, smashing the club into the wall and dragging it along as he rushes, knocking the stone away; it crashes to the ground below.

It isn't just the stone. The shades in the audience are also hit by the impact. The ones further back move out of the way, screaming loudly, as they flee, but many in the front row fall from such a height. The shades cannot die, they will be only inconvenienced by this, but that doesn't stop the experience from being horrific. Asterius wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Neither would Zagreus.

The moment this starts happening, Zagreus moves from where he's hiding, racing across to try to catch as many of the falling shades as he can. It is hopeless, but that doesn't stop Zagreus from trying. The orange shade, Zagreus's adoring fan, is caught in his grasp and set down safely on the ground, before Zagreus moves to help others.

But it's a trap and the short one has fallen for it.

While Zagreus is distracted, Heracles appears behind him, moving swiftly, despite his vast size. He raises his club up high, time seeming to slow for this moment. Theseus grips the edge of the stand so hard that his knuckles go pale, leaning over the railing.

_**“Hellspawn!** Look out!”_

“King!”

Asterius grabs Theseus to stop him launching himself from the edge, at the same time as Heracles brings his club smashing down onto Zagreus and several of the shades below. There is a sickening crack and an explosion of blood rises into the air.

The battle is over. Zagreus has been defeated.

Amidst the commotion of the crowd, Asterius sets Theseus down, making sure that he's steady, before taking his hands away. Falling from such a height wouldn't have hindered Theseus more than any other shade, but Asterius would still rather he did not.

If Theseus is at all aware of his recklessness, he doesn't let it show. In fact, he is shaking with anger and marches through the fleeing crowd the moment he's on his feet.

“This is outrageous! It will not stand,” Theseus announces, “Come, Asterius! We must confront the daemon immediately!”

Doesn't Zagreus return to the House of Hades upon death? Asterius doubts that Theseus intends to march all the way down to Tartarus. But it seems as if Theseus knows for certain where to go. And so, as always, loyal Asterius follows his king.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, Zagreus, Theseus and Asterius will all be in the same room and talking, I promise. There's a reason I'm giving this so much build-up.


	3. the enemy of my enemy is also going to get yelled at

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wake of his defeat, Zagreus finds himself unsatisfied and he's not the only one. Many bruised egos are flying around Elysium right now, including Zagreus's own. It seems the only one who can keep a level head is Asterius.
> 
> No change from usual, then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They say posting on a Sunday is a bad idea, but I'm impatient and just want to post each chapter as soon as I finish it.

When Zagreus opens his eyes, instead of being greeted by the usual pool of red and familiar corridor of the House of Hades, he instead finds himself in a bright, golden hall, coughing out puffs of smoke, as swirling, clear clouds rise up across his body, washing away the blood. He feels... healed by this. Instantly better. Zagreus has never before let his own death stop him and he isn't about to start now, but something about this feels good.

He stands there in awe for a few moments, before absently stepping out of the pool and looking around. The room he's in is empty, but he can hear muffled voices in the distance, like a gathering for a party. But more pressing than that is the sound of footsteps, quickly stomping across the stone floor. It isn't long before Zagreus is no longer alone in the room.

“Daemon! What is the meaning of this?”

“Huh. Theseus. And Asterius, too? So... still in Elysium, then?”

Zagreus shakes off his hair, dislodging some of the clouds that have settled there. His body is speckled with a glittery substance and he can't emphasise how good he feels. Now that he has context, Zagreus assumes that he's stepped out of the River Lethe, which has pooled here in this room. Are they still inside the coliseum? Only one way to find out. Zagreus regards Theseus as if the king isn't fuming with outrage, because honestly, that's hardly anything new where Theseus is concerned.

“Is this where you guys appear after I defeat you? I had wondered. You clearly don't return to my house each time, because you'd never be able to fight your way back up here before me.”

Theseus tuts loudly; “Such ignorance! Not that I owe you an explanation, but on occasion, yes. We are _usually_ revived in our own chambers, but they built this room after your challenges became more frequent, so that we may be prepared to vanquish you on your next arrival.”

“Really? I never thought about what Father has the House Contractor do behind the scenes. So, the two of you literally climb out of here and go straight back to fighting me? If it was anyone else, I might feel bad about the contract pushing you so hard. Actually, I do feel bad for Asterius, at least.”

Asterius shrugs his massive shoulders; “There is no need, short one. You are my opponent and I shall never shy from battle.”

Apparently having his frustrations ignored for too long, Theseus waves these words away.

“Enough with the distracting talk! Are you so embarrassed by your loss that you try to turn our heads away from it, hellspawn? We shall not be denied an explanation! Tell us now why you would lose so swiftly and pathetically.”

Oh yeah, Heracles! It's all coming back to Zagreus now. The prince has been warned that the Lethe can erase your memories if you lay in it for too long, so perhaps it dulled the pain of his recent battle. But he's remembering it now and, obviously, he doesn't feel great about such a brutal defeat or about Heracles endangering the crowd during the fight. Yet he can't resist a chance to wind up Theseus, playing dumb as he answers.

“Well, first I tried to break through his armour by driving Varatha into his back. But that didn't work out, so after I pulled my face off the wall, I-”

“Do not insult us, blackguard! You only gave that fight half of your efforts and thus embarrassed yourself in front of a loving audience who so regularly watch our own battles. Asterius and I were both appalled by your lacklustre performance!”

“Ohh, so _that's_ what this is about!” Zagreus rests his weight on his spear, leaning forward and grinning; “I beat you so easily now that seeing me being beaten by someone else really hammers home how bad you are at this? Well, as much as I'd like to claim otherwise, I _was_ putting everything I had into that fight. Heracles was the victor. He is the greatest hero to have ever lived – vastly surpassing you, from what Achilles tells me – so it isn't too surprising that I lost.”

All the same, it would've been nice to have not lost. The part of Zagreus that cannot accept defeat nags at every fibre of his being. But this was a “once in a lifetime opportunity”. There shall be no rematch.

It looks like Zagreus isn't the only one disappointed by his defeat, either.

“That you would say this all so callously. I shouldn't expect any better from a vile worm that has wriggled out of the depths of hell, but it shows you have no respect for any of your opponents _or_ your audience if you do not give your full effort each time. I am insulted, as someone who has faced you, and I know that the valiant Asterius is also insulted.”

Zagreus rolls his eyes.

“Look, I just told you that I did try my hardest and I wasn't good enough. Do you think that doesn't bother me-?”

_“King?”_

“-Also, you need to stop speaking for Asterius! He looks like he has no idea why you've dragged him here-”

_“Short one?”_

“-How dare you accuse me of speaking over Asterius, daemon! You know nothing of the glorious bond that we share. A creature of the night could never understand-”

Asterius drives the end of his axe into the floor, silencing both of them with its impact. When Zagreus and Theseus look to him, Asterius seems awkward, but then he gestures to his side.

“We are not alone. This stranger has been observing your conversation for the last few minutes.”

Stranger? Does he mean Patroclus? No, Patroclus would never come all the way here, he finds the crowds at the coliseum too annoying to deal with. When Zagreus looks to where Asterius gestures, another god slinks out of hiding, seeming shamelessly unconcerned at having been caught. Theseus pulls a face.

“Is this snake-like creature a friend of yours, daemon?”

“Momus? Hardly. I just met the guy a short while ago. God of Satire and Mockery, from what I've been told,” Zagreus says. Admittedly, in the grandeur of Heracles, Zagreus had forgotten all about him; “...But why are you spying on us, Momus? Did Heracles send you?”

Momus tosses his hair, the irritating grin from before still plastered across his features. His voice is level when he talks, as if nothing has ever concerned him in his life.

“Don't flatter yourself, godling. The noise from the party was giving me a headache, so I thought I'd head out. But then I heard you guys screaming at each other and got curious. Can you blame me?” Here, Momus stops looking at Zagreus, instead turning to regard Theseus and Asterius; “So, you're King Theseus and his greatest conquest, the Minotaur? Pretty overrated, if I do say so myself. A bunch of minor victories in life and killing a cow is all anyone wants to write stories about? Must be humiliating for you.”

To no one's surprise, the attempt to rile Theseus works. The king grips his own spear; the only thing stopping him from taking a slice at Momus this very instant is Asterius's firm hand on his shoulder.

“Do not speak of Asterius in such a manner! The Bull of Minos is but a legend in himself and that is why gods and mortals alike rightfully tell tales of our battle.”

Momus regards Theseus through lidded eyes; “...Yeah? But what else you done, king? Got a few beasts in your closet, besides just this one?”

If Zagreus expects Theseus to scream out a retort to this (and Zagreus absolutely expects Theseus to do this), he is mistaken. Something about Momus's words seem to silence the king, at least for a moment. This gives Momus enough time to turn away from Theseus, as if he's not worth his time, returning his attention to Zagreus.

“Hey, so, condolences to your loss or whatever. Heracles is severely overhyped himself, but I guess he knows what he's doing when it comes to punching people.” Momus rolls his shoulders; “Must be hard for you to accept your loss, but we'll be going back upstairs once the big guys are finished bragging about their victories. Which, knowing them, could take a few hours. Woe is me.”

This is when Theseus snaps out of his brief stunned silence. That didn't take long.

“The hellspawn has not accepted his defeat! So half-heartedly dismal and downright pathetic that it was, the blackguard has every intention of challenging that... th-that _Heracles_ to a rematch to reclaim what little honour he has to his daemon name!”

“First of all, don't speak for me. I'm not Asterius and I won't stand for that,” Zagreus cuts in, “Although, I hate to say that I agree with you, but... _ugh,_ I actually do. It was an honour to face Heracles in battle and if that was my only chance, then I accept it. But if he would grant me another match, then I'd regret not asking him for one.”

“A waste of time,” Momus claims, turning from them, “Heracles has no interest in anything that doesn't challenge him. You might as well just save yourself the trouble and not even ask.”

With this, Momus starts to walk away, but Theseus calls after him, having completely ignored Zagreus's warnings to not speak for him.

“Let Heracles say this for himself! We will be challenging him post-haste!”

_“I_ will be challenging him post-haste, actually,” Zagreus corrects.

In a rare display of unity, Zagreus and Theseus both make to follow Momus back to the party that he must've come from. But this time, Asterius puts his hands on both of their shoulders, forcing them to halt. Out of everyone, they'd never ignore Asterius and now two sets of eyes are on the bull.

“King. Short one. I do not wish to deter you in your wishes to request a rematch. It goes without saying that I stand by the king's side, no matter what decision he makes. But I have observed that the scrawny god speaks calmly with the intent to rile you both. You would each do well to hold your tempers around him, lest he bait you into a trap.”

“Asterius, I would not fall for such a ruse, you know me better than that,” Theseus protests, sounding injured by such an accusation.

But Zagreus shakes his head, able to see his own flaws with more clarity than he assumes Theseus can.

“No, Asterius is right. Look, I'm going to challenge Heracles and I can tell I can't stop either of you from coming if you want, but I will at least try to stay calm about it. Thank you, Asterius.”

With that, Zagreus walks out into the corridor himself. It doesn't surprise him when he hears two sets of footsteps behind him. Strangely, he feels better for this.  
  


* * *

  
_Epidaurus was disappointing. Prince Theseus can admit that much. Perhaps he shouldn't have expected too much, be this only the first of the six entrances to the underworld that he needs to pass to return home to Athens._

_He realises, as he pulls his spear from the now departed body of Periphetes, the Chthonic guardian of this particular entrance, that his disappoint may stem from something other than just a desire to prove himself. Because Periphetes may have been a guardian and slaying him may grant Theseus some honour, but when it came down to it, the creature had been little more than a lame, one-eyed bandit, picking off the wealth of foolish travellers who knew not of him. If nothing else, Theseus has made these roads a little safer._

_As he walks away, Theseus admits to himself that he envisioned Periphetes as being like a giant ogre. A drooling, dangerous Cyclops, who would slay any who pass, beating them down with his bronze club. Theseus had imagined being such an opponent, weaving in and out, dodging the blows until, eventually, the Cyclops manages to knock him down to the ground, towering over him as-_

_...No. No, he's not doing this now. It's the centaur at the wedding all over again._

_Theseus stops before he reaches the trail once more, sitting himself down against one of the many rocks that litter this place. He sighs deeply, cursing himself for every traitorous thought that enters his head. Not a day ago, he lay with Heracles! Before that, even, Theseus had been carefully convincing himself that he is in love with his best friend, no matter how unavailable Pirithous had been. But both of these men had bored him! In truth, Theseus is too busy thinking about..._

_...About...?_

_He grunts, slipping his hand into his robes and wrapping it around his now hard dick, rubbing it firmly to grant some release from the cruel thoughts that plague his mind. He is alone. With the bandit slain, that is truly the case. He can... do this for just a moment._

_Even so, as Theseus tugs at himself, he desperately tries to think of something else, anything else. Men are beautiful. He should think only of men! But instead, what pushes Theseus to this stage is cyclopses and centaurs and... and creatures! Beasts!_

_On this terrible, bitter thought, Theseus hastily reaches his climax, gritting his teeth as he finishes. He hates himself, he honestly does. There is no person alive more vile and perverse than Theseus. Why have the gods cursed him in this way? Would he not lead a normal life, like that of any other prince? Would he not become a hero as highly regarded as Heracles and shed the shackles of this guilt?_

_No one can ever know. No one **will** ever know. As Theseus cleans off his hand, still shaking from the disgust he feels at his desires, he reminds himself that this is all something he can lock away deep down inside and never let it impact his life. He'll find another safe man to fawn after. Another Pirithous. He'll keep up the act until he can fool everyone, including himself.  
  
_

* * *

  
Such grand celebrations are not unusual in Elysium. Asterius attends them only at King Theseus's request, but the king does certainly love his celebrations, so Asterius has attended many of them by now, to the point that they no longer faze him. As such, Asterius can tell from the moment the three of them enter the room that there's something different about this one.

For the victory of Heracles, the greatest hero who ever lived and son of Zeus, one of the mightiest gods, one would expect a celebration so grand that it would put all others to shame. Certainly there are many here, but as Asterius watches that scrawny god Momus take to Heracles's side, he notes that, outside of Heracles and Zeus themselves, there is an air of unease.

There are many here, certainly. Shades are curious creatures with little to fill their existences, so if anything out of the ordinary happens, they flock to it. As well as that, Lord Hades himself is present. Asterius bows to him as he enters the room, not that Hades pays him any mind. But for all who are here, the atmosphere is one of uncertainty. Heracles harmed many shades during the battle. Even if they will all be safe, the taste of this hangs in the air. As strange as it may seem, the underworld wouldn't mind if Heracles leaves soon, thank you very much.

With this in mind, perhaps the short one's desire for a rematch will not be well-received. Even so, this doesn't stop Zagreus from marching over to Heracles, with Theseus hot on his heels. Heracles looks up, seemingly amused by Zagreus.

“Here he is at last! Get lost in these halls, did you?” Heracles calls, “Guess you must've been shaken after such a crushing defeat. I know you probably wanted to go lick your wounds, but I asked for Lord Hades to have you revived here, lest you miss out on the party in my honour.”

But this is when Heracles notices that Zagreus isn't the only one to have entered the room. His eyes widen with surprise as they fall upon the king.

“Theseus? Is that you? After all these years! Looks like you made it into Elysium after all. Cut your hair, I see. That's a shame, I preferred it long.”

Next to Zagreus, Theseus is shaking ever so slightly. Upon seeing this, Asterius tenses on Theseus's behalf, but Theseus does not need Asterius to defend him, brushing off Heracles's words as if they mean nothing.

“Made it into Elysium? Why, Asterius and I are the Champions of Elysium, I'll have you know!” Theseus boasts, “Gone are the days when I as ever in your shadow, half-god, as brief as those days were.”

“Brief, but you wouldn't be here without me.”

Those words are cutting. There is more of a story here than Asterius knows. Yet before they can delve further into this, Prince Zagreus decides that he wants this to be more about him.

“Okay, so you two know each other. Good for you. But look, Heracles, I know that as the loser of our battle, I don't have the right to ask anything of you, but I would very much like to challenge you again,” Zagreus asks, “I feel that I've learned from this first try and I'd do better on a second attempt.”

“A waste of time.” It's Momus who claims this, looking up at Heracles; “You destroyed this gnat without breaking a sweat. What makes you think it'd be any different for a second round? Let's just get this party over with and head home.”

“Yes, but last time the blackguard did not have me on his side!” Theseus says. So much for not letting the words of the scrawny god get to him.

Heracles raises an eyebrow; “...Wait, so are you saying that you _both_ want to challenge me? Is the Bull of Minos included in that as well?”

“What? No! The challenge is just from me. Don't listen to Theseus. I never do,” Zagreus protests.

“The daemon is short-sighted,” Theseus insists, “I ask not to join him on the field of battle, for Asterius and I could easily dispatch you without his help. Nay, it is this wretched hellspawn himself for whom I feel embarrassed. Thus, for his own benefit, I have decided to find the space in my heart and time in my ever-busy schedule to personally train him for his next battle against you.”

Heracles looks humoured. Zagreus looks mortified.

“Train me? _Train me!_ Why would I need any training from you, king? I best you constantly in the arena as it is and I already have the training of Achilles, who is by far a greater warrior than you could eve-”

Theseus narrows his eyes and looks to Asterius. He gets a nod from Asterius. Consent.

“Asterius will also be training you.”

“-everrr... _uhh..._ I mean, you know what? It's always good to get a fresh perspective. Good idea for once, king. I'll train under the Champions of Elysium – although mostly Asterius, I'm sure – and then we can have a rematch. How does that sound, Heracles?”

Heracles lets out a booming laugh, which sounds similar to that of his father.

“Sounds good to me, cousin! I don't foresee our next bout ending any differently, but I'm sporting enough to give you a chance.” Next to Heracles, Momus lets out a small, strangled noise. And what Heracles says next will probably make it worse; “You know what? I am greatly intrigued by the underworld! My previous visits here have been only in the spirit of my legendary tasks, before I retired to join my father on Olympus. Now that this opportunity has presented itself, I would be honoured to stay here for a while.”

“Inviting yourself, I see... Must get it from his father,” Hades grumbles. Even so, Hades cannot refuse Zeus's son. For all he probably wants to; “Very well. I shall have a room prepared for you back at the house. Are you... also staying, brother?”

It's clear from Hades's tone that he does not want Zeus to stay. Thankfully, he has nothing to worry about.

“Stay here? Nay, I've already had about as much of the underworld as I can take. Elysium is fine enough, but it's not a patch on Olympus. If my son wants to stay here with the dead until his next fight, then I won't stop him, but I won't stray from home for longer.”

“Ah. Good.” Hades doesn't even try to make excuses for how glad he is that Zeus isn't going to stay.

“What of you, Momus?” Heracles asks, glancing down at him, “I assume that you'll be returning to Olympus with Father?”

Momus shrugs; “Might as well stick around to catch your next match. Though that first one was as overhyped as they all are. You might want to learn some new tricks before anyone who isn't a critic catches onto that, Heracles.”

“One day I'll impress you, my friend.” Heracles sighs fondly, before deciding to make this official and addressing the room as a whole, “It has been decided! The underworld is lucky to have me for a while longer, as my cousin trains for our rematch. It shall end in much the same way, but it would be unsporting not to give him a chance. To victory!”

Heracles raises his goblet in a toast, which is met with a mixed reception, not that he seems to notice. The shades of Elysium like Prince Zagreus. Indeed, most who Asterius has met seem to like him. The short one is an honourable warrior and seems to be decent enough, from what Asterius has seen. This might be the first time that a crowd won't be rooting for Heracles.

With the decision made, it seems that Zagreus is determined to press on instead of hanging around to catch the end of this.

“Sounds good to me. All right, I'd better return to the house to check the mirror and switch up my weapon. Father, can you- ...Father?”

Lord Hades has already gone. During Heracles's toast, he saw the perfect opportunity to invoke his vanishing skills to make himself scarce. He's possibly leaving the room, invisible, as Zagreus speaks.

“...Right. Looks like I'm staying here for now,” Zagreus sighs. He turns to regard Theseus and Asterius with uncertainty; “So, training then? Can't say that I'm wild about the idea, but we should probably get started soon.”

The message is clear. They are to get out of here before any obligation to stay longer shows itself. Zeus will see himself home, surely. That isn't Asterius's problem. And, as the three of them head out together, it looks as if Prince Zagreus has decided it isn't his problem, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? The whole setup was a ruse to push Zagreus towards Theseus and Asterius for training. Now we can get down to some actual shipping.


	4. terrible taste all around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zagreus begins his training under King Theseus, although he's still not sure why he agreed to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I have no restraint, here's the next chapter. You folks also get a break from Heracles in this chapter, so we can all rejoice over that.

_Isthmian was easy, too. It didn't even take that much creative thinking – just slay the bandit by his own methods. The catapult was unexpected, but you really do just have to work with what you're given. The bandits certainly have been. Because that's all these apparent “Chthonic Guardians” are, just bandits. Tales of their glory have been vastly exaggerated, most likely in an attempt to keep mortals away from these places._

_Perhaps Prince Theseus has slain only two of the six so far, but it's given him the shot of confidence that he's desperately needed. Emotions are a fickle thing. Every failure in his life (and there have been many) has left Theseus spiralling, but the smallest glimmer of success and he'll grab onto it and never let go._

_What choice does he have? The alternate is thinking about matters that he's determined to shut out._

_Right. Four more to go. Crommyon, Megara and then two at Eleusis. After that, the rest of his journey to Athens will be a breeze._  
  


* * *

  
“-Clearly there's something going on there that we don't know about, but Momus is quite pretty, don't you think? In a twisty sort of way. Lithe, I guess? It's not just me that thinks that, is it?”

This is Zagreus attempting to make small-talk with Asterius as they walk across the plains of Elysium. It's going about as well as could be expected. Asterius turns his head to look down at Zagreus, his confusion obvious, even with his expression never shifting.

“The scrawny god is not pretty. It is possible that you just have terrible taste, short one.”

Zagreus doesn't miss a beat; “I think you're quite pretty as well, Asterius.”

“As I said, you have terrible taste.”

...Wait, is this Asterius making a self-deprecating joke? That's progress! Well, perhaps not, depending on how you look at it. But considering that Zagreus has never heard Asterius make a joke before, he chooses to see it at such. This is their first actual conversation outside of the field of battle and Zagreus decides that it's going well.

“Come on, you can't accuse me of having terrible taste when you're the one devoted to the most egocentric king who ever liv-”

“I'm sorry, did we bring you here so you can gossip like a fishwife with nothing better to do? Do try to keep pace, blackguard!”

Oh yeah, Theseus is here, too. Zagreus has been ignoring him.

“Forgive me for trying to have a conversation. Or do you just not like it when Asterius talks to anyone other than you, king?”

Theseus looks back over his shoulder at the two of them, unable to mask his irritation. Zagreus sees this as a small victory, as well.

“Asterius is free to speak with whomever he chooses, daemon. Any who he deems worthy of his time are blessed beyond what they know.”

That's a cagey response if Zagreus has ever heard one. The prince doesn't know how to stop himself. Once this is over, he might not get the chance to talk so openly to these two again, so he might as well see if he can get the answers to his various curiosities while he can.

“All right, so what you're saying is that, for whatever reason, Asterius is only interested in you,” Zagreus sums up. He doesn't get a reply from Asterius, so he presses on, “Which, I mean, can't say that I'm not a little jealous that you're the one who gets to take the bull by the horns, but-”

Zagreus stops abruptly. This is due to Theseus's spear suddenly being pressed against his throat.

“Once again, I demand that you do not spread idle and inaccurate gossip at Asterius's expense,” Theseus hisses, before lowering his spear and turning away once more.

“Wait, so you two aren't a thing?” Zagreus looks between the two of them; “I mean, I was never sure, but from the way you both talk about each other, I just figured that... huh. Okay. Asterius, does that mean you're available?”

“Asterius, I believe that this spot will be as good as any. Would you be so kind as to go ahead ensure we will not be disturbed by any lingering warriors or tiny, exploding chariots as we train? I do not wish to be constantly picking up bits of the hellspawn as we attempt to better educate him.”

“Of course, king.”

With that, Asterius marches off, leaving Zagreus's question unanswered. Yet so far in his life, the prince hasn't mastered the art of knowing when to drop a subject.

“You can't just tell Asterius what to do like that.”

“I _asked_ him, blackguard.”

“Why don't _you_ go deal with the perilous foes while Asterius stays here, then? I'm sure that I'll be learning a lot more from him than from you, anyway!”

“Do you wield an axe, blackguard? I sincerely hope that you do not have one stuffed away where we cannot see it!” Theseus snaps, gesturing with his own spear to Varatha; “We both use the same weapon, thus I shall be the one training you and you should be grateful that I'm bothering at all!”

Zagreus throws up his hands; “As if I asked for this! You're the one who announced it, king! And while we're at it, I already have the teachings of Achilles, who also uses a spear. There's nothing you could teach me that he hasn't already.”

Upon hearing this, Theseus actually rolls his eyes; “Yes, I can certainly tell that the great Achilles has been involved with your training. The reckless way you fling yourself about on the field of battle makes that entirely obvious.”

“King, you literally have Asterius _throw_ you at me! You can't accuse anyone else of flinging themselves about!”

“That is a tactic that signifies the bond Asterius and I share together!”

“Well, my recklessly flinging myself about, as you put it, is a tactic as well!”

Metal clashes against metal. Both have drawn their spears. Lowering themselves into the familiar stances of combat.

“Then prove it, monster!”

“I will, king!”

This isn't training. This is straight up fighting. But Zagreus knows where he stands with fighting Theseus. He's defeated him so many times by now and that's when Theseus has Asterius at his side. If Zagreus can swiftly take Theseus out, then that should prove that this is a waste of time.

They match their strikes blow for blow at first, but then Zagreus takes a few steps back, getting some distance so he can use his bloodstones, which are still taking the form of Ares's blades from earlier. He launches all three of them at Theseus, but the king dodges them easily, seeing the blades lodge into some rocks behind them.

“That didn't work on Heracles, you short-sighted salamander! What makes you think it would work on me?”

“Oh, I don't know, because you're worse at this than him!”

Zagreus dashes to the rocks, retrieving his bloodstones as they revert to their usual form, before launching the blades at Theseus once again. From a closer distance this time, to give him less time to react.

This proves to be a double-edged sword, as Theseus parries the blades and knocks them back towards Zagreus. The prince only just manages to swerve and avoid having his ankles sliced off by his own weapons. In the brief moment that he loses his balance, he's knocked to the ground by the blunt-end of Theseus's spear.

Before Zagreus can scramble back up, Theseus puts his foot on the prince's back, holding him in place as he talks once more.

“Heracles has every blessing that you've ever been granted by an Olympian and then some. For once, you will not be their favourite in your next bout, blackguard. If you choose to use the aids that the gods have so gracious granted you, at least do so wisely!”

Zagreus closes his eyes, expecting Theseus to deliver a finishing blow now that he has him at his mercy. But it doesn't come. In fact, Theseus takes his foot off his back and steps away, leaving Zagreus to roll over and look up at him in confusion.

“What gives? You were winning.”

“We are _training,_ not fighting. Is your brain truly as small as a pebble so that you cannot see the difference?”

With this, Theseus offers out his hand to Zagreus. For a moment, Zagreus hesitates. They have been enemies for a long time, with their hatred of each other developing into something that runs deeper than Theseus standing in his way under the employ of Zagreus's father. But Theseus does seem to be genuine in this desire to train Zagreus, wherever it comes from. So, Zagreus decides that he can trust him for now, taking the hand that's offered and allowing Theseus to pull him up from the ground.

“All right, but it looked a lot like you got mad and just started fighting to me,” he retorts, deciding that thanking Theseus isn't something he wants to do just yet.

“That could be because you are the most difficult, insufferable creature who I have ever had the misfortune to have to deal with, hellspawn!”

“Right back at you, king!”

But Zagreus is smiling as he says this. He only realises that he's smiling when he looks across to see Theseus smirking at him in return. Wait, no. Ugh. What is this? Both of them catch themselves at the same time and wipe those grins off their faces, raising their spears to return as they are.

“Shall you listen to me this time, instead of charging in blindly, blackguard?”

“If you have anything worthwhile to say, I might!”  
  


* * *

  
_Phaea is proving to be a more troublesome opponent than the two who came before her. The prince had dismissed her crone powers to be little more than parlour tricks, but it turns out that her ability to transform leaves her with more raw strength than both of the previous bandits combined. Theseus hates to say it, but she's had him run ragged through the abandoned streets of Crommyon._

_He steps out from behind a building, spear raised and glancing around in all directions. This is when he hears a loud, carrying cry that sends fear into his soul._

_The next thing he knows, he's been knocked off his feet by a giant pig. The Crommyonian Sow._

_“You were the beast all along!”_

_Theseus isn't given an answer from Phaea, nor does he expect one. In fact, for wasting his time with words, he gives Phaea time to turn herself and take another charge at him. Theseus rolls to the side at the last moment, seeing Phaea barrel past him and crash into a wall._

_“Reckless, aren't you?”_

_He's not sure whether he's talking to himself or the pig. If Pirithous had been here, then he'd have been able to direct Theseus in his assault and thus make up for Theseus's own shortcomings. Fighting alone isn't nearly as easy as fighting with an ally, especially not when he was the brains and you are merely the brawns._

_Theseus just needs to become both. He cannot rely on others forever. If he can prove himself in life, then Pirithous's loss will not be in vain._

_He scrambles to his feet and darts back behind the wall, looking out at Phaea as he plans his next move. While he watches, he sees the giant sow back away from the wall she's crashed into, unsteady on her feet and slowly shaking her head. Once she recovers, Phaea squeals loudly, looking around for Theseus, but not with the precision she'd had when she hunted him earlier._

_In fact, now that Theseus is watching, he realises that he could be fooled into believing that the Commnyonian Sow is purely a beast, as all who came before him have. With her other transformations, Phaea had seemed like a human in a different form. But she must have been tracking him as the sow for some time now..._

_...That's it!  
  
At least, that might be it. If Theseus has got this right, then the longer Phaea stays in another form, the less human she becomes. That's why she can't hold it forever – else she gets lost in the mind of the beast._

_It usually doesn't take her this long to dispatch travellers. Theseus is wearing her thin. That's how he's going to win this._

_With that, he dashes out from his hiding spot and calls to her._

_“Look here, vile pork-belly! Come at my spear so that you can be skewered and roasted like the pig that you are!”_

_Prince Theseus has never said anything quite so ridiculous in his life, but he realises that he strangely enjoys it. Mocking an opponent who you know for sure you shall best is quite thrilling._

_As Phaea charges for him once more, Theseus dives back around the corner, once again causing her to skid and crash. She can't turn very well in the form of the pig. Theseus just needs to use her brute strength against her to wear her down, without her figuring him back and changing back into the crone._

_He jumps out again._

_“Can't you even hit one target? I'd hate to be as pathetic as you!”_

_Another squeal. Another charge. Another crash._

_“Do at least try, my good woman!”_

_Perhaps he has been too hasty. This time, when the sow rights herself, she doesn't charge immediately. Instead, she regards him and begins to glow. It is a small, lilac glow that lasts only for a moment before fizzling out. Phaea has tried to change back into the crone and found that she... can't?_

_She panics and lets out a cry. If not for their situation and all the many before him who Phaea has laid to waste, then Theseus may feel pity for her._

_“This is what you get for messing with what no mortal can understand! You have bitten off more than you can chew!”_

_In her blind rage, Phaea rushes towards Theseus again. But she has been exhausted now and it isn't a struggle to avoid her. The pig stumbles and falls, its legs kicking around. Its cries become less focused and more vague. The sow is an animal in pain. The longer she is left, the less human she becomes. In a few hours, there will be naught of Phaea left in its mind. But with the state that the sow is in, it won't even last that long._

_This will be a mercy killing. Theseus isn't like Pirithous, he can't let himself get caught up on the morals. Phaea is as much a bandit as the others, spending her life endangering all around her. And her death is coming, regardless._

_There is a last, almighty cry as Theseus drives his spear into the pig. Then there is silence._

_He pulls it back out and takes a few steps away, feeling nauseated. He's done the right thing, he's convinced himself of that, yet still, the prince feels shaken. He has a long way to go before he can be a warrior as merciless as Heracles, who wouldn't let such thoughts hold him back._

_It would be best to leave this place. To just press on. He's halfway there now. While he walks away, Prince Theseus never suspects that he is being watched. The gods are curious.  
  
_

* * *

  
As Asterius walked through the leafy undergrowth, he cannot shake the feeling that he's being watched. Not by any of the usual opponents he faces in Elysium, as none of those are subtle enough for stealth, not even the Strongbows. No, it feels like... something else.

He lingers longer than he intends, searching through the trees and foliage near the clearing. There are many places that someone could hide here and the last thing Asterius would want is for his king to be at risk because Asterius didn't do a good enough job watching over him.

But after a while, Asterius hasn't come across anything unusual. He doesn't want to chalk his concerns up to nothing, but on this one occasion, that might well be the case. If not, then he will just have to be vigilant and keep an ear open as he observes the training session.

Speaking of that...

When he returns to the clearing, Asterius isn't certain what he expects to see. It isn't as if his king and the short one have ever done anything other than fight one another during all the times they have met before. If Asterius is honest, he half expects to find that they've already fought to the death and will both have been revived back at the Lethe Room in the coliseum, where they'd most likely just clash again.

Yet instead, the sight that greets him is the two of them... genuinely training? Colour Asterius impressed. So much so, that he stands to watch them for a few minutes, so engrossed that they are that neither has noticed him yet. 

As Theseus and Zagreus fight back and forth, they talk. But there is something ever so slightly more relaxed about their words than the usual yelling at the coliseum. It has always been Asterius's belief that two warriors can find respect through combat. He wonders if this is finally happening for these two, in the same way that Asterius himself came to respect the short one some time ago. Asterius listens as they talk.

“-but that won't work on Heracles. With him, it is as if you are fighting the coliseum itself and you must use your puny size to topple it, daemon. Pretend for a moment that I am he-”

“-small chance of that, Theseus. You're the only person I know who's shorter than I am.”

“I most certainly am not! We are at least the same height!”

“Still having trouble picturing you as Heracles.”

“Of course you are. I am considerably more handsome than he is.”

“I mean ye- ...uhh, no comment. I'm not distracted by his face so much as his giant, bone-crushing club, anyway.”

“Well, picture me as a bone-crushing club, hellspawn!”

This is when Asterius chooses to make himself known, stepping heavily from the clearing and attracting both of their attention. He notes the way that each of their eyes light up when they see him and it's not... an unpleasant feeling. He's used to this reaction from Theseus, but Asterius reluctantly admits that even the short one's obvious cheer at seeing him is nice.

“Asterius! You have returned, my most treasured companion! I trust that the various foes of Elysium gave you no trouble?”

“None, my king,” Asterius confirms, with a shake of his head. He deems it best not to worry them with his suspicions from earlier, since Asterius isn't certain himself that these suspicions were justified; “And I trust that the training has gone well so far?”

“Eh, it's been fine. Not very much he can teach me, though,” Zagreus says, looking away.

“The blackguard is a stubborn and inflexible pupil, as one might expect,” adds Theseus, also looking away.

It seems almost as if the two of them are embarrassed by being caught almost getting along like two regular shades. Which would seem absurd, but Asterius is very much aware of how much pride hangs in the air between them. In that regard, training will be difficult while the two of them are so busy posturing.

“Perhaps now would be a good time to take a break,” Asterius suggests, “The two of you have been at this for some time.”

“What? But I haven't even started training with you yet and you're the whole reason that I came,” Zagreus protests.

“A good warrior knows when to rest. I would rather train you at your best, short one.”

He can see, out of the corner of his eye, that Theseus is about to join Zagreus in insisting that they don't need to stop, but upon hearing Asterius's words, Theseus thinks better of it and changes tact, lest he not look like a good warrior in front of him. Asterius knows how to work his king to his advantage sometimes.

“As always, Asterius is correct in his boundless wisdom. We will disband for now and reconvene in a short while, once we are all suitably refreshed.”

With this, Theseus walks to Asterius's side, ready to walk with him back to their separate chambers. But before they can leave, Zagreus calls out to them.

“That's all well and good, but where am I supposed to go?”

Asterius and Theseus exchange glances, before looking back at him.

“I had assumed that the ground would swallow you up and you would return to whatever oozing crypt you use to replenish your daemon health back down in the bowls of Tartarus, hellspawn.”

Zagreus frowns at them both; “First of all, I have a bed like anyone else, not an oozing crypt or whatever else you're imagining, Theseus. Secondly, I usually only go back to the house after death. In fact, that's the only way I _ever_ go back there. I can't poof about like Than and the others can.”

“Would you like me to slay you then, daemon?” Theseus asks. He raises his spear, optimistically.

“Oh, that would actually be pretty helpful,” Zagreus agrees.

“Perhaps not,” Asterius interrupts, moments before Zagreus lets Theseus run him through, willingly, for once; “The short one would then have to fight his way back to Elysium, as he usually would. By the time he gets here, he may be tired once more. We would be back where we started.”

“I can usually get here without breaking too much of a sweat these days, but don't tell the Fury Sisters or Lernie that I said so,” says Zagreus, without explaining who Lernie is; “I suppose I can see what you mean, but what other choice do I have? There isn't as if there's anywhere for me to stay in Elysium, unless they're fine with me sleeping on the floor in the coliseum.”

It goes unsaid, but can be assumed that encountering Heracles is another reason that Zagreus may not want to hang around the coliseum.

“You could... stay with one of us?” Asterius reluctantly suggests, in the lack of another option presenting itself.

“You want me to room with you? Asterius, I would be honoured!”

“Nay, hellspawn! Stay back!” Theseus waves his spear before Zagreus can take another step towards Asterius, clearly threatened; “I do not trust you to keep your thoughts pure as you lay at the side of the divine Asterius. You earlier expressed attraction to him and you are a daemon! Little more than an incubus for all we know!”

Zagreus holds up his hands; “Easy there, king. I'd never try anything if Asterius isn't interested.”

“So you claim, but we have no evidence that you would not attempt to seduce him using your dark-hearted blackguard charms and your temptress body! Which Asterius wants naught to do with, I am most certain! Nay, I say! You shall not room with him!”

“Well, looks like I'm off to find a comfy patch of floor at the coliseum. See you both in a few hours or whatever passes for time around here.”

Zagreus moves to step past them, but Theseus holds out his spear to block him, not meeting his eyes.

“...You shall stay with me, blackguard. As reluctant as I am, there is only repulsion shared between the two of us, therefore we can be certain that no attempts at seduction will occur.”

For a moment, both Zagreus and Asterius look at each other. Neither of them expected this. But thankfully, Zagreus doesn't make too much of a fuss.

“No one even mentioned seduction before you brought it up, Theseus. Are you sure you're not the one with the issue? Don't answer that, I already have a pretty good idea,” Zagreus says, “But sure, if it makes you feel more comfortable, I'll stay with you. If you're nice, I'll even ask Hypnos to send us _both_ sweet dreams of Asterius.”

Theseus turns on his heels and marches away, hands balled into fists at his sides. Zagreus gives a small chuckle.

“Looks like I won at training today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone ask for a TheseZag slumber party episode? Because that's what you're getting.


	5. i'm dying inside (and all i see are daemons)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a misguided attempt to protect Asterius's dignity, Theseus and Zagreus end up sharing a room together. There's only one bed. It goes exactly how you might expect... with Zagreus on the floor.
> 
> Also, they fuck.

Zagreus can't say he was expecting anything, having never put much thought into the existence of Theseus outside of fighting him in the coliseum, but had he put thought into it, then this room would look exactly how he expected it to. Grandeur beyond what is necessary. It isn't as if “draped in gold” is an uncommon design scheme down here, but somehow Theseus just makes it look tacky. He also has a giant portrait of himself and Asterius covering almost the entirety of one of the walls, because of course he does.

There is also only one bed.

But it's huge enough to fit at least five people in, so Zagreus isn't complaining. They can lie at opposite sides and not even have to worry about talking to each other. In fact, this is what Zagreus intends to do. He hops up onto the bed and is immediately rewarded by Theseus screeching at him.

“What do you think you're doing, daemon! Get down from there this instant, lest you cover my sheets with your poisonous monster spores!”

Zagreus pulls a face. He turns to shrug at Theseus.

“Look, I can't say that I've done this sleepover thing since I was a child, but generally, doesn't the resting part happen on the bed? And there's only one bed here, so what do you expect?”

Theseus points to the floor.

“You're kidding, right?” Zagreus mutters.

“I most certainly am not! You misread me before – I bring you not here for your own comfort, but to protect Asterius from your unsavoury intentions.”

“No, that is _exactly_ how I read it, king. No need to worry about that.” Zagreus sighs, knowing that he should put up a fight about this, but also knowing that if he doesn't move, he'll have to endure Theseus glaring at him for the next few hours. So, he grabs a huge bundle of pillows and hisses; “I'm taking these.”

With that, he slips off the bed to arrange them on the floor. Surely, as the Champion of Elysium, Theseus could've arranged to have something set up for him to sleep on. But then, the king wouldn't go to that effort for a daemon, would he?

Actually, on that note, Zagreus decides to test something. He watches as Theseus heads over to a sink in the en-suite, so he can wash up before bed. Question time.

“Hey, so, how would you address Zeus, king?”

Theseus glances at him through the mirror, his brow raised in confusion.

“Lord Zeus? The grandest of the Olympians to ever grac-”

“Cool. Got it. So how would you address Ares?”

“Why, Lord Ares is worshipped by many of the warriors here for his-”

“Nyx?”

“What is the meaning of all this?”

“Just answer. I'm going somewhere with this. Nyx?”

“The Lady Nyx is a goddess worthy of the highest respec-”

“Persephone, my mother?”

“The Goddess of Spring?”

“Huh, you know who she is. Okay then, Lord Hades. My father?”

“Don't be so absurd, daemon! Of course I know of Lord Hades! All who reside here know of him!”

“And you agree that they're all gods, right?”

“I'd be a fool if I didn't!”

“So then, why are they all gods, but I'm hellspawn, daemon, blackguard, monster and whatever else crosses your mind in the moment?”

“Because that is what you are, daemon! How dare you compare yourself to the gods!”

“Two of those people I mentioned are literally my parents! I'm a god, Theseus, whether you like it or not. Well, half a god, I suppose, but so is Heracles and you don't seem to have any trouble seeing him as being some legendary hero.” As Zagreus says this, he notes that Theseus glances away at the Heracles part, but he's too set on this train of thought to pursue it right now; “Look, you can be honest if you just don't know my name and you're too embarrassed to admit it, okay? It's Zag-”

“-I care not what your name is! You are naught but the hellspawn and that is what you shall always be in my mind. Now cease this pointless prattling!”

Zagreus throws himself down against the pile of pillows that he's collected on the floor, sighing loudly to express his irritation; “Can we just go now? I feel like I'm rested enough.”

“Asterius will come collect us when he's deemed that enough time has passed. The sooner the better, as far as I'm concerned.”

“At least that's one thing we can agree on...”

As Theseus finishes cleaning himself up for the night (is it night? It's at least darker than it was earlier, but perhaps only because they require it to be), he makes his way across to the bed and Zagreus turns his head to stare into the pillows, arms splayed out dramatically. He hears a creak from the bed above him that implies Theseus has climbed into it. Naturally, it is Zagreus's intent to ignore him, but also naturally, the prince finds himself unable to keep his mouth shut for longer than a few moments. He rolls to the side again, just able to see the outline of Theseus's back above him.

“Hey, so... Heracles. I'm not an idiot, I can see how awkward you get when he comes up,” Zagreus starts, not caring enough to respect Theseus's privacy, “And you practically threw me into getting a rematch from him. Something happened, right?”

“What if it did?” Theseus is cagey as a default, but there's a lower growl to his tone than usual.

“Look, I know some of the stories from Achilles, like I said before. I know that you escaped from the underworld with his help a long time ago,” Zagreus continues, “But I'd have thought that would make the two of you friends. At least, I became friends with everyone who helped break me out of this place while I was looking for my mother.”

Theseus goes silent for a moment and, if this is the only reaction Zagreus gets out of him, then that is reward enough in itself. But after some contemplation, the king does answer.

“...We lay together. One time.”

_“What!”_

Zagreus scrambles to sit up, his head popping up from the edge of the bed to stare at Theseus, who's still facing away from him.

“It isn't as impressive as you might think, hellspa- ...What are you doing? I told you before that you are not allowed onto the bed!”

But Zagreus isn't listening to that now. He's pulled himself up onto the bed, sitting cross-legged and looking down at him. Theseus has little choice but to turn and face him now.

“So, let me get this straight, you and Heracles fought your way out of my father's realm, then got down to it once you got outside? I probably shouldn't be asking how that went, since he's Zeus's son and all, but I can't pretend I'm not a little shocked, if only because I thought you were either getting it from Asterius or else you were some massively repressed prude, due to not getting it from Asterius.”

Theseus pulls himself up from lying down to glare at Zagreus, seeming to have already forgotten about Zagreus not being allowed on the bed in the face of these accusations.

“I owe you not an explanation, you devious creature of ill-intent, but if you must know, all of this occurred long before I had met Asterius. He was but the Minotaur in the Labyrinth back when Heracles... came for me. _Stop snickering, blackguard, I do not mean like that!_ When he _rescued me_ from the depths of Tartarus.”

“And now you're too proud to tell Asterius that all of this is because you want to get back at your ex?” Zagreus guesses.

Again, the hesitation is not what he expects from Theseus. Zagreus shouldn't be concerned, but... No, he _isn't_ concerned.

“It is not so much that as that I owe Heracles a... w-well, it matters not!”

All right, maybe Zagreus is _a little_ concerned. He presses forward, staring into Theseus's eyes with an intensity that shows he isn't messing around any more.

“King, you'd better not be dragging Asterius and myself into some kind of twisted deal you've made with Heracles.”

“I would never do anything of the sort!”

“Yeah, I trust your word about as much as you trust mine, thank you.”

“It is fair to assume that I wouldn't be above putting you in danger, blackguard, but Asterius? Do you sincerely believe that I would risk him?”

Theseus's eyes have never left Zagreus's this whole time. Zagreus can feel the intensity and the honesty behind that statement.

“...All right, no, you wouldn't do anything to harm Asterius. But you were just about to say that you owed Heracles a "something". You can't just leave me hanging on that.”

He expects Theseus to look away, given how he's been about this, but the king's eyes remain on his.

“...A debt that cannot be repaid. For Heracles breaking me out of Tartarus and giving me a second chance at life, I owe him a debt that cannot be repaid.”

So that's it.

It isn't that Zagreus owes Theseus any sympathy, but he at least decides to take this seriously, folding his arms and looking thoughtful as he replies.

“From what I've seen of him, I can assume that Heracles is the sort to hold you to a debt like that.”

“Yes, exactly. It has never been of concern before, but now he is present in the underworld, it troubles me that he may invoke it to somehow harm Asterius or the shades of Elysium, to whom he shows little concern. Such debts to the gods are binding.”

“I'm with you so far,” Zagreus says, “But what about training me to defeat him made you think that it would clear your debt to him?”

Now, Theseus huffs and looks away, which is much more familiar territory; “...It is still a work in progress! I shall figure it out as I go!”

“Just admit that you didn't have a plan and only challenged him because you got caught up in the heat of the moment.”

“I shall not!”

It's clear that this is true, though, whether Theseus admits it or not. What Theseus doesn't count on is that the God of Blood is a bleeding heart (metaphorically, usually) and even if it's... _ugh, Theseus..._ Zagreus doesn't want to see someone get blackmailed if there's anything he can do to help.

“We'll figure this out,” Zagreus tells him, “Don't get me wrong, I am doing this entirely for the sake of Asterius and everyone else here, because they don't deserve to suffer due to your bad choices, also I do intend to beat Heracles either way, but I'll make sure that doing so breaks whatever pact you have with him. Somehow.”

“Daemon, can you stop?”

“Theseus, I'm offering you help! Don't act like you have too much pride for that.”

“Yes, I am... reluctantly grateful that you would agree to aid me so readily, but I need you to stop holding my hands.”

“What? _...Oh!”_

At some point during assuring Theseus that he's help him, Zagreus had grabbed his hands on impulse. Now that his attention has been drawn to it, both of them let go as if their hands have been dripped in lava, looking anywhere except at each other. Zagreus clears his throat, realising that he needs to quickly turn this into a joke to pass it off.

“No hand-holding on the first date, got it! Doesn't sound like that's what you said to Heracles, though.”

“If I had, then perhaps we would not be in this situation at all.” It isn't clear if Theseus means this in jest or not; “Although in _that_ regard it was hardly worth it.”

“Again, you can't just say something like that and not elaborate, king,” Zagreus presses, his curiosity continuing to get the better of him.

Theseus shrugs; “He was a bad lay. What more is there to say?”

“Bad? The greatest hero who ever lived? Seriously?”

“There are better. Many.”

“He's a giant! Surely that alone should be an experience worth remembering.”

“There are better gi- ...There are better. Just in general. Why does this shock you so much, hellspawn?”

Theseus confirmed for fucking multiple giants then. Huh. Zagreus is actually impressed, if only marginally so.

“Guess Asterius is just your type, then.”

The button has been pressed. It doesn't take much.

“Do not lump Asterius in with such, monster! Simply because I have previously perhaps made some mistakes in my life with giants and ogres and... and other such, does not mean that I think of Asterius as some beast who is the object of my affections!”

Zagreus grins; “Thanks for giving me a lot more details than I asked for there, king. Suddenly seeing why it might be so easy to blackmail you.”

_“Gaaah!_ You are impossible!”

Theseus throws up his hands. Zagreus leans in closer.

“Soo... monsters are your thing. Should I be worried?”

“Don't flatter yourself!”

With that, Theseus moves to push Zagreus away. But Zagreus is still sitting on the edge of the bed and with this push, he feels himself suddenly falling backwards, holding out his arms as-  
  


* * *

  
_-The impact feels like hitting a stone slab, winding the prince immediately. He barely has time to gasp for air before he's under the surface of the water. And drowning isn't even his biggest problem, although it is, admittedly, a pretty big problem._

_As Theseus flounders, trying his best not to get lost in the current, he can see a dark shape looming through the depths, drawing closer. The sea monster. It knows the routine. Sciron, the most wicked bandit who Theseus has faced thus far, has held this bargain with the creature for many years, providing it victims by pushing travellers into the ocean in exchange for his own safety. And Theseus had been naïve enough to fall for Sciron's “wash my feet” gambit. Ugh._

_This can't be how he returns to the underworld so soon after leaving! He blinks painfully through the water, his eyes suddenly blinded by a light that was not there before. If he can just reach out and grab onto-_   
  


* * *

  
-Zagreus grabs onto the hand held out to him, but it's already too late. Not only does he fall to the floor, but he pulls Theseus along with him. The two of them land in a heap, with the pile of pillow from before being the only mercy to save them in their fall. Zagreus flops back against them, letting out a long whine.

_“Uuugghhh..._ Blood and darkness... Remind me to never say... whatever it was I said to set you off next time we're sharing a bed...”

Theseus shifts his head to look at him from where he's lying on top of Zagreus and glowers.

“We are not sharing a bed, daemon. I specifically told you to sleep on the floor.”

“Hey, look! We're _both_ sleeping on the floor now.”

“You are not amusing, hellspawn.”

“No, I'm hilarious. Now are you going to get up?”

“O-of course!”

With this, Theseus moves to get off him. He presses his hand against Zagreus's exposed chest and then pauses, leaving it to linger for a moment too long. Zagreus wishes in this moment that he didn't have such a built-in craving for physical attention, which has to be the only reason why he'd feel such a jolt of longing at the contact.

Theseus does not move his hand away. Zagreus does not ask him to.

Not only does he not ask him to, but Zagreus finds himself reaching up, running his hand across Theseus's arm and... dammit, Zagreus has been trying very hard not to pay attention to it all this time, but Theseus does have ridiculously toned arms, doesn't he? Which Zagreus knows from having that spear thrown at him by them so many times. And from having Theseus himself thrown at him, when it comes to that bullhorn attack.

If Theseus plans to object to this, he'll make that immediately known. When the king reaches across with his other hand to grab Zagreus's own, this is exactly what Zagreus assumes is happening. But still, the sudden grasp sends another spike through him that warms Zagreus to his very core and he lets out an involuntary moan.

At this, he finds himself being yanked up by the edge of his chiton and the next thing he knows, Theseus's mouth is pressed against his and neither of them are doing anything to stop it. As if Zagreus would even want to. He reaches around to grip tightly onto Theseus's back, clinging onto him as he feels Theseus's tongue in his mouth and... _oh, the king is surprisingly good at doing that._ This is so unfair.

It doesn't take much to get Zagreus going and there are many who can attest to that. He bucks violently up against Theseus, demanding more.

He is granted more.

Without parting their lips, Zagreus feels Theseus's hand let go of his chiton and instead snake his way down to tug Zagreus's painfully tight pants free from his belt, pulling them far enough down so that he can grasp at Zagreus's dick, jerking him off. The friction causes Zagreus to hiss against Theseus's mouth, but he doesn't want him to stop. In fact, when Theseus slows his motions in response to this, Zagreus brings down his teeth to bite at Theseus's tongue. The message is clear.

Perhaps a little too clear, as Theseus responds to this by tugging at him more forcefully. Zagreus digs his nails into Theseus's back, but he does need to finally break away from the kiss to gasp for air.

_“Blast! I...”_

Their eyes lock and the message is clear: 

Don't say it. Don't say anything. The moment that they speak, the spell will be broken and they'll have to actually think about what they're suddenly doing. It's much easier to bury all of their posturing and bickering a-and, apparently, their unresolved sexual tension when they just get on with it.

Zagreus nods, wrapping his fiery legs around Theseus to pull him even closer. He needs this. He needs this contact. It seems as if the heat from Zagreus's legs only spurs Theseus on further, feeding into Zagreus's theory that the king just has this incredibly specific preference for those who are not quite human.

As he clings on, Theseus moves to kiss at his neck and Zagreus raises his head up to give him easier access. The prince's dick is slick with pre-cum now and it won't be long. He feels it boiling up inside of him-  
  


* * *

  
_-The prince clutches the pale blue orb to his chest. He knows not what it is, only that it has been granted to him within the ocean and it could be his last chance at survival as the sea monster draws ever closer. He can see red eyes staring hungrily at him. He feels the orb glow._

**_Poseidon...! If this is you, please lend me your strength!_ **

_Theseus feels his entire body start to glow with the same blue light as the orb, as it seems to vanish from his grasp. But his plea has been heard. His wish has been granted. There's a rush bubbling through his blood like nothing he has ever felt before. This is the power of the gods!_

_His eyes open wide and the light pours out of them. He sees nothing to fear. Not from the sea monster or anything else. When Theseus next moves, it isn't with the floundering of a man near drowned, but instead with something wondrously powerful! The Tidal Dash!_

_He charges for the sea monster, hearing its stunned cry as he smashes into its head. The beast is weakened and wounded. Theseus breaches the surface. But he isn't done. He'll go again and again until he's destroyed this wretched monster! Turning in the air, Theseus dives back into the ocean with an almighty-_   
  


* * *

  
-gasp, Zagreus shudders to a messy climax against Theseus's hand. He shakily lets go of Theseus's back and slumps down against the pillows, raising a hand to wipe the sweat from his brow.

_“B-blood and darkness...!”_

His chests rises and falls. It might've been just a handjob, but there's been something ferocious hanging in the air between the two of them for so long now and to finally have it snap makes it feel like Zagreus has gone for another round in the arena.

There might be a good reason why Zagreus is generally known as the pillow prince of the underworld.

He moves his hand away from his forehead to look up at Theseus, only to find that Theseus is looking down at him with an expression that Zagreus cannot place. It can't be fondness, can it? No. Zagreus decides to think of it as awe, because that's easier to deal with than fondness is.

When neither of them move, Zagreus decides to be the one to break the spell, as reluctant as he is. He catches his breath and brings himself to smirk.

“Better than the last half-god you did this with, then?”

Theseus snorts. It's very nearly a laugh.

“You didn't _do_ anything, blackguard...! You just clung on while I did all the work!”

That's fair. Zagreus will give him that one.

“All right. Well, I suppose I should make up for that, shouldn't I?”

He pulls himself up from where he's fallen against the pillows, draping his arms over Theseus's shoulders as he presses in to kiss him once again. Very soon, they will most likely have to deal with the consequences of what they're doing. They may even have to talk about feelings, which will be deeply unpleasant all around. But for now, Zagreus knows here he stands with fucking his feelings out and it looks as if Theseus does as well.

A shadow shifts by the open window. Neither man suspects they are being watched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you believe me if I said that I didn't actually plan for the sea monster flashback to line up with this chapter? I just kind of got here and went, "Huh, that works out".


	6. bed privileges granted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asterius joins them in Theseus's chambers. That's pretty much all that needs to be said, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like I broke my posting a chapter a day streak yesterday. But, even though he isn't in this chapter, I did [attempt to doodle Momus to try to figure out what he looks like.](https://twitter.com/TheScruffyCat/status/1364719070378160128) He came out much shorter than I've been imagining him though, he's a tall noodle in my head. Probably not going to doodle Heracles [but there is a statue of him in the game](https://twitter.com/TheScruffyCat/status/1364983468644397060) so assume that's accurate to this fic, right down to his height. 
> 
> Also, with this chapter, the rating went up!

_The figure rises as he approaches and Prince Theseus immediately knows who this is. Cercyon, the king by the roadside. Perhaps before, such a name may have struck fear into his heart, but Theseus has been growing confident lately. After so easily dispatching the sea monster and Sciron with the aid of the gods, Theseus has only gone on to win more and more challenges._

_Eleusis is the home-stretch. He merely needs to lay to rest two more of these Chthonic Guardians and this will be over. Cercyon is one of them, his vast, naked figure looming as Theseus draws level with him._

_“So, you came? I've heard about you. Does a prince truly think he could defeat a king?”_

_Gods, this could be **so easy!** Theseus could call upon Ares and strike Cercyon down where he stands. But there would be no honour in that and the gods themselves would be bored by such a show. The last thing Theseus wants is to leave his audience not entertained by him. Therefore, he will play this Cercyon's way. They will wrestle._

_Theseus lowers his spear and his shield, placing them on the ground and then moving to tie his hair back. It's gotten longer now, even more so than it had been when he first left Tartarus, but Theseus has been reluctant to cut it. He can sense the anger rising from Cercyon to be so blatantly disregarded, as Theseus casually undresses himself._

_Probably best to answer his question now._

_Prince Theseus regards him, a wicked glint in his blue eyes._

_“I suppose we'll see, king!”  
  
_

* * *

  
When Asterius opens his eyes, he feels better for having rested. It has been an usual string of events, some of which Asterius is certain he doesn't know the full story behind, but resting for even a short while grants clarity. Sleep is one of the few luxuries that Asterius had in life, so he would never deny it in death, either.

He hopes that, when the time comes, Theseus will open up to him about exactly what's going on here. Asterius only desires to help if he can and he does not like to think that his king may be struggling with something that he deems too much for Asterius to handle.

These thoughts in mind, Asterius pulls himself up from his bed and leaves his humble chambers, heading in the familiar direction on Theseus's own, where he can only hope to find that king and short one have not yet killed each other. They managed not to before, but during training, they had combat to distract them. Alone together in that room, they will only have each other's company.

As Asterius walks through the crisp evening air of Elysium, he pauses for a moment, turning his massive head to look around. The same feeling from before washes over him: that he is being watched. Perhaps not him specifically, so much as the three of them as a whole.

In the Labyrinth, Asterius had been able to seek out his victims from a great distance. The stench of human flesh had been so over-powering back then. Asterius is grateful that he does not feel these same urges in the afterlife. But with that, he finds that he can't detect shades in the same way. Although, he can't be certain that whatever seems to be watching them is a shade.

He can rule out Heracles immediately, as his vast size would give him away. But there is also the other one, the scrawny god, who had been spying on them earlier. As a child of Nyx, Momus would be able to conceal himself in the darkness easily.

Asterius raises his head and calls out to the forest of the night.

“You are not as clever as you think you are. I will protect him. I will protect them. No harm shall come to them on my watch.”

With that, he turns and continues his journey. If there is nothing watching them but a few wayward warriors, then Asterius may have made a fool of himself, but something like this does not concern Asterius. His concern lies only with protecting those that he cares for.  
  


* * *

  
_The prince lets out a gasp as he feels Cercyon's firm fingers dig into his side. He can't let himself get overwhelmed by this. Cercyon may have him bested in brute strength, but Theseus believes he is cunning enough that the gods have taken notice of him. If he can overpower the roadside king somehow, then there'll be no doubt in anyone's mind that he's is worthy._

_Even in his own mind, perhaps._

_He is slick after the lengthy bout of wrestling and he can see that Cercyon is struggling to maintain his grasp. If Theseus can get his arms under his side and lift him, then...  
_

* * *

  
The prince lets out a gasp as he feels Theseus's firm fingers dig into his side. So much for doing all the work in the next round. Zagreus had started out strong, but old habits die hard and neither of them are objecting to having Theseus pound into him instead of the other way around. He arches his back as Theseus eases into him, once again digging his fingers into the pile of pillows (because _of course_ they're still on the floor, it isn't as if the bed would be more comfortable or anything...).

It's fortunate that, despite apparently being committed to pining for Asterius since passing onto the next life, the king does seem to have been provided with a decent supply of lube in his chambers. Perhaps that's just something that comes with the room. Zagreus doesn't get much of a chance to think it over as he finds himself being pounded relentlessly into the pillow pile.

“Looks like I... finally get to wipe that smug grin... off your face, hellspawn!”

“This is the only w-way you could, king!”

A retort like that certainly wipes the grin off Theseus's face. But it's totally worth it just to see him double down on what he's doing. Zagreus buries his head into Theseus's shoulder, needing to bite his own lip just to hold back the moans. His legs are wrapped around Theseus's waist and he can see that the heat from them is burning his sides, ever so slightly, but that only seems to spur Theseus on. Zagreus isn't surprised by this.

The prince isn't known for having the most stamina when it comes to this, specifically. Just ask any of his casual lovers. But something about Theseus in particular makes him determined to hang on. He breaks away from Theseus's shoulder, sweat dripping down his face and trying his best to keep his grin as smug as possible, despite being pounded so deliciously.

“Y-you know... I'm surprised you'd do this... _hah..._ with a daemon like me...”

Theseus swiftly raises a hand up to grip Zagreus's chin, pulling his face forward to shut him up with a kiss. Perhaps that's a line they shouldn't cross yet. Perhaps as soon as they acknowledge that it's each other they're doing this with, it will be over. Zagreus would at least like to finish this round before that happens.

After a moment, Theseus pushes his mouth away just as abruptly. Glaringly down at Zagreus.

“Incubus!”

There is also the possibility that Theseus just has an excuse for everything.  
  


* * *

  
_Cercyon has shown no mercy to his countless victims over the many years that he's held this position, so Theseus sees no reason to grant him any in return. Besides, that's not how this works. They are warriors and to suffer defeat means that your life is forfeit, as Theseus well knows. To leave Cercyon alive would be an insult. It would be no mercy to him._

_Thus, when Theseus dashes him into the ground, he blocks out any doubts or hesitation that may be forming there. Cercyon is a murderer. He is slaying a murderer._

_There's a sickening crack and then Cercyon's body falls limp, dust flying up into the air as he lands heavily on the road that he has boasted as his own for so long. A road that is now finally safe, thanks to Theseus._

_The prince collapses soon after, needing a moment to recover. His body is drenched in sweat and he aches like never before. His chest is pounding and Theseus places a hand on his heart to try to steady it. Wrestling is... quite exhilarating. Theseus shall have to introduce it to Athens once he returns. There are many men there who he would like to wrestle with. Certainly, it would be a distraction._

_So close now... Only one more of these guardians to pass..._  
  


* * *

  
Asterius hears Zagreus before he reaches Theseus's chambers. The short one is incredibly loud, but the noise isn't what Asterius expects. He can't even fool himself into thinking that the two of them could be fighting, because that's clearly not what this is. It's something else, isn't it? But surely not... Not when they've loathed each other for as long as they have.

He isn't sure what it is that drives him to have his suspicions confirmed. If anything, Asterius should leave immediately. The last thing he wants to do is disrespect his king's privacy. Yet before he can fully comprehend it, Asterius stands in the open door frame to the chamber, his eyes confirming his suspicions.

They are on the floor together. His king's beautiful form is exposed, as he drives the short one wild with his thrusts. Both of them too far gone to even realise that they're being watched.

They shouldn't be being watched at all. Asterius should leave in this moment and then pretend that he saw nothing, even if lying to his king makes him feel worse than anything else possibly could. Yet Asterius finds himself unable to move from where he's standing. He can't identify all of the feelings that are welling up inside of him.

There is... no reason to feel hurt by this, is there?

The nature of Asterius's relationship with Theseus is that of two champions, two dear friends, two who would do anything for each other. Yet Asterius is a bull and Theseus is a man. Any desires that Asterius has towards Theseus have always been inappropriate and the Minotaur has always known this.

Yet he still loves Theseus.

He has loved him for so long now and part of him had dared to hope that this might be returned. Yet, perhaps not. If the short one is who Theseus holds feelings for, then Theseus must not display his attraction in the way of the kind words he says to Asterius, but instead to the petty insults he throws at Zagreus. Asterius does not claim to understand it, but that is the only conclusion he can draw.

An aching heart isn't the only sensation that grips Asterius, however.

There's something else. Something a lot more shameful. As Asterius watches, he realises that... he wants this. He wants to be part of it. Even though it does not concern him at all. Even though it is wrong.

This realisation is what breaks him out of the trance he's found himself in. Asterius feels disgust at himself. He must leave this place. But as he makes to move, this is when he finally gains the attention of Theseus and Zagreus. Two heads suddenly turn to look at him. The horror in Theseus's face at being discovered is obvious.

“Asterius! I...”

“I will go. Forgive me for intruding, king.”

That is all there is to say. Asterius turns with the intent of leaving, but it is Zagreus who calls out to him.

“Wait, Asterius! You shouldn't leave.”

Once more, Asterius finds himself not doing what he knows he should do. Perhaps because the short one sounds much calmer than either Theseus or himself. He halts and turns back to them, seeing Zagreus prop himself up on his elbows, still lying beneath Theseus.

Before either of them can object, Zagreus continues to speak; “You two love each other, don't you? I know that it's different for mortals, that you choose one partner and you're not generally as casual as the gods. Look, this is probably a weird time to point it out, but anyone with eyes and ears – _mostly ears, since Theseus never shuts up_ – can tell you both have feelings for each other.”

“The bond that I share with my king is not of that sort,” Asterius insists.

Zagreus isn't having this; “Asterius, there's an entire wall of this room dedicated to a portrait of the two of you together. I've been staring at it the whole time that Theseus has been railing me. You don't have that for someone unless you feel deeply about them.”

“But...”

“He's right, Asterius.”

Now, Asterius's attention is focused solely on his king. As Theseus draws back to look at him, his short hair loose from what he's been doing, Asterius sees that there's something much more muted than usual about his expression. Is it shame? The same shame that Asterius feels because of his own feelings?

“I do feel for you, my friend. Much more strongly than I have any other,” Theseus confesses, saying words that Asterius never dreamed he would hear, “You are the one I think of in death and even in life, after we met. But I never presumed that... well, I still do not presume, Asterius.”

These feelings... they are returned. Asterius does not leave Theseus waiting to know the truth in return.

“You _should_ presume, my king. For I feel for you as you feel for me.”

The two of them gaze upon each other for a long moment. Asterius's features betray nothing, but the look of awe and relief on Theseus's flushed face is everything to him. They are loved. By each other. In that moment, anything else about the situation washes away. Nothing is more important to Asterius.

“Hey, so... do you two want me to go? I can go, if that would make this easier.”

But also, Zagreus is still here and royalty does not like to be ignored.

“No, short one,” Asterius finds himself saying, stepping from the doorway to enter the room at last, “It would be wrong to interrupt what the two of you are in the middle of. Besides, it was due to your words that we were able to admit to this. For that, you should be rewarded.”

Asterius isn't certain where this confidence comes from. He has never laid with another, in either life or death. But he finds himself lowering down behind Theseus, wrapping his arms around his king's torso and pressing forward to speak into his ear, voice low and soft.

“You should finish what you started, king.”

There's a bob in Theseus's throat, giving away exactly how long he's dreamed of being close to Asterius like this. In the face of that, it's hard not to be confident. In truth, Asterius cares little for what other's think of him, only his king. His great shame came from the belief that his feelings were unrequited and inappropriate. If that is not the case, then Asterius has no reason to hold back, not with him.

“V-very well...!”

Hearing Theseus stutter is also worth it.

Beneath them, Zagreus looks full of himself.

“Well, this has to be the fastest I've been able to get two shades to sort out their feelings for each other yet. I didn't even have to get your contracts from the adminis- _...ahhh!_ Okay, okay! I get it! _**Y-yes!** Don't stop!”_

It's almost amusing how quickly the short one can go from being smug to being a blissful wreck on the floor as Theseus returns to pounding him into the pillows. And Asterius is in the perfect position to observe it all. He finds himself looking at Zagreus a lot more than he expects, for someone so singularly devoted to but King Theseus alone.  
  


* * *

  
_A blanket of twinkling darkness cloaks Eleusis. The prince has to admit to himself that he will not make it across the plains by morning. It is frustrating to him, so close that he is to the end of his journey, but it would be wise to take rest._

_That is why, when he passes an inn and is offered refuge, Theseus does not turn the offer down. Although perhaps this is partly because Procrustes, the blacksmith, who offers him a place of rest, is himself quite handsome, with arms toned from years of work at the forge. Inside his heart, Theseus knows that he doesn't truly find the man as appealing as he wants to, but Theseus is still determined to find a replacement to Pirithous, that he can fawn over safely._

_Thoughts of this and of his upcoming celebration as he returns to Athens on his mind, Theseus allows himself to sink into the bed that is offered to him. After so many nights of sleeping rough, it feels like the most comfortable bed in the world, certainly fit for a prince. Although, if Theseus is honest, it is too big for him. Height is not something that Theseus has been blessed with, but he's never let that hold him back._

_In hardly any time at all, Theseus finds himself drifting off into a deep sleep, dulled further by the wine that Procrustes kindly gifted him before he retired. He would like to claim that he lay there, undisturbed, for the rest of the night. But this would not be the case._

_After an uncertain length of time, Theseus becomes dimly aware of something in the room with him. He feels a sensation around his ankles, but is still far enough asleep that he tries to dismiss it as nothing. Yet when the cold sting of metal touches his wrists, he can no longer brush it off. He blearily opens his eyes, attempting to move his arms, only to find that he... can't?_

_“What's this!”_

_Now, Theseus is awake. Fear washing over him as he suddenly realises that he's been chained by both his wrists and ankles to the bed that he so voluntarily climbed into. Over him stands Procrustes, tools at hand, and Theseus knows not his intention._

_“Unchain me, blacksmith! W-who are you a-and what do you want of me?”_

_“I told you before, Procrustes. Though folks around here just call me the Stretcher.”_

_The last Chthonic Guardian. **B-blast...!**  
  
_

* * *

  
Asterius supposes that Theseus and Zagreus had been doing this before he arrived, but even so, it does not take the short one much time to climax at all. He does so noisily, as he seems to do everything else, bucking hard against Theseus, as if begging him to keep it up. The king does not need to be told twice, hammering into Zagreus with grand determination until he, too, can ride it out. Asterius holds Theseus the whole time, feeling almost intoxicated by the sweat brushing onto his fur from Theseus's body. As with Zagreus, the noise that Theseus makes is something to behold. They are two incredibly noisy beings. It is fortunate that the king's chambers are not near any other, so they will not cause a disturbance. If nothing else, all of this would be awkward to explain.

Zagreus falls back when Theseus lets go of him, spent from what they've just done. This seems like a more normal experience for Zagreus and thus, Asterius has to admit that he's a little curious. Are gods truly that different? The way Zagreus lies beneath them, a warm glow to his face and the sheen of sweat on his skin, he feels as much like a person as any of them. Perhaps more so than Asterius...

While Asterius watches, he unexpectedly feels a soft sensation by his ear and realises that Theseus has reached around to stroke at his head with his hand. The king is smiling back at him fondly and probably a little more sheepishly than usual.

“Asterius... my dearest Asterius, I am grateful that you would be so understanding. It is more than I deserve, my friend.”

He presses his lips to the side of Asterius's face and such a small gesture means the world to Asterius. He closes his eyes for a moment, content with this. If this is his lot for the rest of his existence, then he is pleased with it.

But this moment is not frozen in time, for all it feels like it is. When Theseus pulls back, Asterius's eyes to flutter open, framed by his long lashes as he regards his king. Theseus is... beautiful. Perhaps he does not see it himself, but Asterius certainly does.

“You deserve everything, my king.”

Theseus opens his mouth to reply, but at the same time, there is a noise from below them that sounds distinctly like _'aww, that's cute',_ which has Theseus's head whip around to glare down at Zagreus again.

“Silence, blackguard! This does not concern you!”

“King, you still have your dick in my ass. I think it concerns me a little.”

“Yes... well, right! I shall move. Asterius, please allow me to pull back.”

Asterius hates to side with Zagreus over Theseus, but there is something cute about seeing the king get flustered. He nods wordlessly, reluctantly taking his hands from Theseus's waist and pulling away, to give Theseus room to ease out of Zagreus. There's a slight whimper from the short one, but he seems to be enjoying this. Asterius tries to give them some privacy and looks away, but it only draws his attention to the pillows, which are now stained with fluid and covered in red and blue petals from their crowns.

It also makes Asterius realise that he has another question about this situation that he wants to ask.

“King, short one, I am wondering why you lay on the floor, when the bed is next to you?”

“Because the daemon is not allowed on the bed,” Theseus answers, without hesitation.

“Apparently I have evil monster spores or something. Guess I got those all over your pillows anyway, king,” Zagreus says, shaking his head and looking up to Asterius, “Can't you talk some sense into him? I feel like you're the only one he listens to.”

“Asterius would do nothing of the sort! Because there is no sense to be spoken! As in, I am already speaking sense! Is that not the case, my brilliant, bovine companion?”

In response, Asterius reaches down, putting his arms around Theseus once more, but this time to scoop him up into them, setting Theseus down onto the bed and letting go.

“King, in your efforts to contain the short one, you lowered yourself to the floor. This will not stand. You must always be in comfort.”

“Hah, Asterius agrees with me!” Zagreus teases.

“That is where you are wrong, daemon. You are _still_ not allowed on the bed!” Theseus states.  
  
“Come on, Asterius, tell him!”

This is going to drag on if Asterius does not put a stop to it. He grips Zagreus by his sides, with the prince looking far to pleased about this, and raises him up to set him on the bed as well, before joining them both himself. Perhaps for this specific purpose is why Elysium has granted the king such a vast bed, as even Asterius can lay comfortably in it with two others.

All the while, he sees Theseus regard him with a face that can only be described as scandalised. Asterius calmly justifies himself.

“He needs to be properly rested for his training, king. Besides, if the two of us are to lie together, then I do not trust that he wouldn't stare up at us from the floor.”

“It's true, I would do that,” Zagreus agrees.

But that isn't the part that Theseus focuses on. He once more comes over with the unusually reserved shyness from before.

“Asterius, you would lie with me in that way?”

“If you permit, my king.”

Theseus reaches forward to eagerly grab Asterius's clawed-hands, holding them tightly in his own and nodding without hesitation.

“I want nothing more, my friend. My Asterius.”

“Then we shall.” But there is still the matter of the daemon in the room. “...But what of the short one?”

“Don't mind me, I'm pretty spent from before, to be honest. So I'm happy to just watch. Which I _will_ be doing, even if it's not from the floor.”

At this, Zagreus shuffles away to give them some space, before lounging back to watch them. At first, Theseus looks like he's going to argue, but then it seems that his desire to lay with Asterius wins out against his annoyance with the short one. Asterius is secretly pleased by this.

“Very well, blackguard. For tonight, I shall permit it!”

“Lucky me.” The tone is confident, attractively so.

“W-well, don't push that luck!”

Asterius nips this in the bud by pulling Theseus into his embrace, which Theseus melts into almost instantly. They've both clearly wanted this for so long. At least, it is clear now that they're here, even if it wasn't before. He allows his hands to travel down Theseus's exposed skin, not even attempting to hide his own growing arousal at the contact. Theseus lets out a loud gasp as he feels Asterius's dick pressed against him.

_“Asterius...!”_

He nuzzles at Theseus's face, but he has to admit that, despite himself, he feels nervous. Asterius has never done anything like this before. While it is apparent that Theseus has. Yet it seems as if Theseus can read him better than he knows and senses Asterius's nerves. He shuffles back in Asterius's lap, smiling up at him earnestly.

“If you will allow me, Asterius.”

“You have my trust, king.”

Theseus will always have that. Asterius watches Theseus as he lowers himself, taking hold of Asterius's large dick with both of his hands. That alone has Asterius moaning at the sensation that spikes through him. He has done this to himself before (always with thoughts of Theseus), but he never imagined that anyone else would.

As he is still reeling from this, Theseus moves his head forward, taking the tip of Asterius's dick in his mouth. He glances up, waiting to see Asterius's reaction before he continues. It is indeed quite a reaction. Asterius digs his claws into the bedsheets, tearing them without meaning to.

“King, please...!”

That's all the confirmation Theseus needs. He takes as much of Asterius as he is able into his mouth, deepthroating him without hesitation. The king has always made good use of his mouth, but Asterius didn't realise that it extended to this, as well. He lies back properly now, tilting his head back and crying out shamelessly.

“King... _ **K-king...** Theseus!”_

The sheets aren't enough. Asterius raises a hand to grip at the bedpost behind him. Even that shakes at his grasp, but holds steady. He has to fight every urge to buck into Theseus's mouth. As much as part of his suspects that Theseus might enjoy this, the last thing that he'd want is to hurt his king.

When Asterius opens his eyes, he catches sight of Zagreus watching them intently, tugging at his own dick, despite having claimed to be spent before. He must've found the energy from somewhere.

With his free hand, Asterius shakily grips Theseus's head, stroking his thumb across his blonde hair, which is pretty drenched at this point. Theseus reaches his own hand down to squeeze at Asterius's side, encouragingly. This is the quietest that the king has ever been (outside of when he is sulking), so dedicated that Theseus is in sucking at Asterius. The Bull of Minos knows not what he did to deserve this, but he thanks all the gods out there that he gets to be here right now.

Even if, in truth, he should probably be mostly thanking the god who's already in the room.

Behind them, Zagreus sees himself to finish even quicker than earlier, letting out a strangled whimper that causes Theseus to chuckle slightly against Asterius. The sensation is something to behold and Asterius finds himself gripping the bedpost so tightly that it comes loose, the drapes above the bed falling onto them as it does.

“I- ...My king, I am sorry!”

But it seems as if a mere damaged bedpost isn't enough to distract Theseus from what he's doing. By contrast, Theseus strokes Asterius's side to ease him, carrying on with blowing him, unconcerned.

Asterius raises the drapes up, so he can once again see his king... So loyal, dedicated and truly the definition of regal. The greatest man who Asterius has ever laid eyes upon.

This sight, this feeling, is what threatens to push Asterius over the edge.

“King, you should pull back...”

At first, it seems Theseus won't listen to him, carrying on as he has been.

“No, I mean it... I... _uggnn..._ do not wish to hurt you...”

Reluctantly, Theseus pulls away, trailing his tongue up Asterius's dick as he does, in a way that isn't helping. Neither is Theseus's confident grin once he wipes his mouth off.

“Let's finish you off, Asterius!”

With this announcement, Theseus takes Asterius in his hands once more, tugging him off as Asterius writhes against the headrest, snorting guiltily at the sensation. He can't hold out much longer and soon enough, Theseus finds out exactly why Asterius asked him to pull away.

**_“THESEUUUS!”_ **

Asterius climaxes, roaring out Theseus's name as he does. The resulting mess is considerable. Th-they will not be sleeping in this bed until Asterius cleans it. But that is the last thing on his mind right now. He rides out the moment, Theseus jerking him off all the while, seemingly not deterred by the vast amount of seed. He's... still smiling. If anything, Theseus seems only encouraged by what Asterius has done.

Once the moment is over and Asterius slumps back, then Theseus lets go, wiping his hands against the ruined sheets. The drape is still over his shoulders from where it fell from above the bed, making him look far too adorable, at least to Asterius. Though it also highlights that the bed is now in need of repair. The bedpost will have to wait until later, at least. Asterius gingerly props it against the side of the bed now they they're done. Then he reaches forward to pull Theseus into a firm embrace.

“King, I thank you.”

Theseus rests his head against Asterius's arm, looking lazily up at him; “Think nothing of it, my dearest Asterius. There's a lot more where that came from! At least... if that is also what you desire, there is.”

Asterius presses forward. He cannot kiss Theseus properly, but he nuzzles his face against his cheek again, being careful not to press his nose-ring in too deeply.

“You have always been the one I've desired, Theseus. You know this.”

“O-of course! Yes, of course I know this. Was there ever any doubt?” Theseus proclaims this, but Asterius wagers that he knows Theseus's insecurities better than that. There will have been some doubts, but it is good that they have been removed. With this, Theseus half-turns to look back at Zagreus, who's been regarding them quietly the whole while; “...Blackguard, since you haven't contributed anything else, you may change the sheets before we rest.”

Zagreus immediately sits up, looking put-out; “Haven't contributed? I'm the whole reason you two got talking about this in the first place! I should be the best man at your wedding at this rate.”

“Hah! Not likely that you will! Now, the sheets.”

“All right. But I'm only doing this for Asterius, not for you.” With that, Zagreus holds up one corner of the sheets. There's a long pause; “...How do you actually _do_ this? Dusa always handles all the cleaning at the house.”

“Well, don't ask me, hellspawn! Do you think a king changes his own sheets?”

“I'm a prince, Theseus! That is one of the many things about me that you refuse to acknowledge.”

“Such lies! Can you believe this one, Asterius?”

Nothing is going to get done at this rate. Asterius carefully lifts Theseus up off his lap, setting him back down as he gets up to change the sheets himself. Naturally, Theseus protests about this.

“Asterius, nooo...! We are to curl up together and celebrate our new-found relationship!”

Theseus pouts only a little when Asterius leans in to press their heads together, but does not sit back down.

“And I would much rather do this on a clean bed. With all due respects, king, I am the only one here who knows how to do it.”

“Well, yes, but...”

“Wait? Didn't you live in the Labyrinth?” Zagreus asks, “How many beds did you have to change there?”

“None, but I have learned.”

There is a moment of silence as both of the other two reflect on this, but Asterius has no intent to shame them. He'd rather just get this done quickly, so that they can spend a few hours together in peace. It would be wrong to say “spend the night”, when there is not truly a night, but to that effect. It will be the first time in his memory that Asterius has not slept alone and he would like to make the most of it. So, as the others watch, shifting only when he needs them to, Asterius gets to work removing the dirty sheets and bundling them up into a large wash basket for later. He takes the pillows from the floor as he does this, since they've also seen considerable mess from before and are singed in places from Zagreus's feet.

Fortunately, the king is kept in good supply of everything, so Asterius is able to take fresh pillows and sheets from a drawer next to the en-suite for the bed. In a few minutes, it looks as good as new, with the familiar scent of pomegranates wafting through the air.

Asterius nods in satisfaction. He feels better about a clean room. For a moment, he feels the other two watching him with more awe than he deserves for such a simple task, then Theseus grabs his arm to tug him back down to the bed. Asterius gladly complies.

“Thank you, gracious Asterius! Now, let us rest together, as we want.”

With that, Theseus takes to Asterius's side, throwing an arm around him and clearly not intending to let go. On his other side, Zagreus shimmies up a little more curiously. But Asterius makes the decision on that for tonight, reaching up to pull Zagreus down with them. He sees Zagreus's face colour slightly, since this is the first sign he's been given of returned affection from Asterius. The Prince of the Underworld has been making his interest in Asterius known for some time, hasn't he?

Theseus huffs slightly, but doesn't object. He would have little grounds to, after everything.

Besides, it doesn't take long for either of them to fall asleep. Asterius presumes that they have been busy with this the whole time that they should've been resting and now it's caught up with them, whereas Asterius had been resting in earnest before coming here. He doesn't intend to watch them, but as Theseus and Zagreus let themselves sleep at last, Asterius lies awake for a while longer, a content warmth washing over him. The Minotaur is with another. Two others, for that matter. He is wanted. He is cared for.

He is loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback scene ended on a cliffhanger this time, but don't worry, we'll be picking that up in the next chapter.


	7. theseus's browser history exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asterius manages to catch the creature who has been spying on them since the training began; but with this comes more than either Asterius or Theseus are ready to deal with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all ready to hate one of our two villains even more, as we're getting to the real angst hours now.

Zagreus finds that, in general, he doesn't sleep very often. It isn't that he shuns Hypnos's craft by any means, but he finds himself always on the move, always occupied and with little time to stop. But having said that, on these rare occasions when he does wake up after a good sleep, feeling as rested and refreshed as this, he realises that perhaps he could indulge in it a bit more often.

Probably adding to this is how warm and soft Asterius's fur feels against his skin. Zagreus nuzzles his face against it, lying there like that for a while longer before opening his eyes. He can tell from the low snores and the rising and falling of his chest that Asterius is still fast asleep, but when Zagreus looks across to Asterius's other side, he sees that Theseus is not, his blue eyes on Zagreus.

Theseus turns his head away when Zagreus catches him looking. Zagreus snorts. He's even less threatened by Theseus than before after last night.

“It's okay, king, this doesn't change how hard I'm going to beat you on the battlefield, if that's what you're worried about.”

Theseus is silent for a moment, and then; “...It isn't as if that's any challenge for you these days, regardless.”

Zagreus rolls his eyes; “I'm not going to apologise for getting better. I had to. Beating both of you and then still being alive enough to get through the Temple of Styx and beat my father afterwards was a requirement. It was the only way.” When this gets no response, he adds, “If it makes you feel any better, if I happen to have the wrong boons or get too ambitious with the pact, you two still cause me a lot of problems.”

“Your pity does not make me feel better, daemon!” Theseus hisses, turning back towards him. At this, Asterius snorts louder and they both fall silent for a moment, worried about having disturbed his slumber. But the next moment Asterius settles once more, so Theseus continues in a quieter tone; “As loathe as I am to admit it, I have never come across an opponent like you. Certainly not here. The warriors are so set in their ways, but you are ever shifting, ever perfecting something new at a frustrating rate. If you could throw yourself into battle with Heracles a few hundred times, I am confident you would eventually best him, as well. That is an almost alarming thing for me to admit, blackguard.”

The slight surprise in Theseus's voice seems to indicate that he's only just realising this himself. Realising that he has faith in Zagreus. Hah, that must be difficult for him.

“But I don't have a few hundred times, I have one more chance. The second time I fought you guys I didn't even get a hit in on _you,_ I was still struggling with your blasted shield,” Zagreus points out, leaning across Asterius, despite himself, “Do you really think that you can teach me to topple him?”

That's the reason why they're here, after all.

“Of course, daemon! I would not have offered if I didn't believe that I could.” Theseus answers this with such certainty that Zagreus doubts he's bluffing; “You may have all your twisted skills that you've plucked from the depths of hell and also the favour of the gods, but you are still a greenhorn in many ways. Achilles does not have the only combat perspective in the underworld and I'd wager that I know more of the shortcomings of Heracles than he does. The next time you face Heracles in battle, you will defeat him! I will ensure it!”

Before Zagreus has a chance to reply, they both suddenly find themselves dislodged, as Asterius shifts to sit up, putting his arms around them to stop them from slipping. _Wow,_ Asterius in the morning (or whatever passes for morning here) looks disgruntled, but no less adorable.

“You are both louder than you realise,” Asterius grumbles.

“Asterius! My beloved friend! I am sorry to have roused you from your rest!” Theseus says, loudly.

To this, Asterius shifts his massive head to nuzzle against Theseus's hair, seeming more content than Zagreus has ever seen him. These two have wanted to be together like this for a long time. Zagreus is glad they can have that now, however else this works out.

“We should probably rise soon anyway, as we all seem suitably rested,” Asterius says.

Zagreus flops back against the pillows, sighing loudly.

“You're right, Asterius, but can we just lie here for a while longer? I don't want to leave this bed just yet.”

Of course, Zagreus already knows the answer to this before it comes.  
  


* * *

  
_Prince Theseus fearfully realises that he may die in this very bed. Procrustes, the Stretcher, and last of the Chthonic Guardians. Word of his methods has passed Theseus's ears before. Procrustes offers his guests a bed that they cannot fit into and th-then either stretches or chops them until they do fit into it._

_And Theseus thought Procrustes was a humble blacksmith! He's such a fool!_

_“I'm the last one, aren't I?” Procrustes asks. It is a rhetorical question; “You've killed all the others and folks are talking about it. They're talking about **you.** I'd have thought you'd be smarter, but I guess this just makes my work easier.”_

_“Unchain me, you lowly man!”_

_There is absolutely no way that Procrustes is going to do that. Theseus just feels better to hear the sound of his own voice. It blocks out the fear of his fate. He can already feel his wrists and ankles crying out painfully as Procrustes starts to twist the handle, ever so slowly (again, how did Theseus miss that contraption! Pirithous would've been more cautious!)._

_But for all he wants to scream out, Theseus suddenly knows silence as he sees something loom in out of the shadows to hover above Procrustes head. Whether it is friend or foe, his situation cannot get worse than it already is._

_“What is this! Get off me! I am one of your own, night creature!”_

_As Theseus watches, eyes wide, Procrustes head is consumed by a thick darkness. He staggers backwards and then the darkness releases him, instead settling on the chains around Theseus's wrists and ankles. There is a click and the chains fall lose._

_So, a friend, perhaps?_

_The prince springs up from where he's been forced to lay, gritting his teeth at the pain in his ankles when he lands, but knowing that he must persevere and deal with Procrustes before he has a chance to recover. Fortunately, in his confidence at victory, Procrustes saw no reason to move Theseus's spear and shield from his bedside. So Theseus swiftly grabs these both, advancing on the recoiled figure of his captor._

_“Let us see how brave you are without your wretched trickery!”_

_Still someone to be taken seriously, Theseus would wager. As Procrustes recovers, he takes a swing at Theseus using his tools. The prince manages to avoid this, but it is a close call. Procrustes's arms are strong from years of working the forge and, evidently, from cranking the handle on his stretcher bed, as well._

_But it is not only the two of them in this room. The thick darkness from before forms together at the other side of Procrustes and it becomes... something. A creature that is the shape of a man, but isn't completely human. It has long horns, with eyes upon each one, and rich, dark fur covering its whole body. The creature looks... stunning. Breathtaking. **Oh.**_

_“Want a hand, Prince of Athens? It looks like you were struggling.”_

_Perhaps Theseus should note the mocking tone, but he is too distracted by the beauty of such a beast. Besides, if not for this creature, he would still be tied to that bed._

_“I wouldn't turn away any aid,” Theseus finds himself saying._

_“Two on one! It still won't be enough!” Procrustes roars._

_He takes a long swipe around, attempting to hit both of them. But in doing this, he loses his balance and hits neither, staggering as he almost falls. Before Procrustes can recover, Theseus jumps on him, wrestling the man to the floor. It is tough to hold him alone, but Theseus now has an ally._

_“Please help me hold him!”_

_There's another rush of darkness and then Theseus feels the creature's head resting on his shoulder, its many teeth mere inches from his ear. He swallows hard, fighting back the sudden rush he feels in his blood at being so very close to something that he knows so little of._

_“You're new to this, aren't you?” the creature whispers, “Don't answer that, I know you are. Let me give you a hint: the great heroes of the ages would defeat their wicked opponents using their own methods. That's what Heracles would have done.”_

_As Procrustes struggles beneath them, Theseus raises his head to look up at the bed. That would be... needlessly cruel. Theseus does not need to do that to slay this man._

_“It never stopped him,” purrs the creature, reading his face, “He's been doing this for longer than you've been alive, Prince of Athens. Isn't it only justice for his many victims to make him suffer the same? Or are you too **weak?”**_

_There is no voice of reason. No one else to ask. It has been Theseus alone for so long now, trusting only his own judgement. But now this... this thing is here and it has helped him so much a-and it's voice... sounds so delicious..._

_He nods, not trusting himself to speak. The answer is satisfactory. The agreement has been reached. Theseus feels the thick darkness wrap around his own arms and around Procrustes, giving Theseus the strength to move him. Up. Onto the bed._

_This is... wrong... Deep down inside, he feels that he knows that. He shuts his mind down, allowing his eyes to become unfocused as he sets to work. But the prince cannot escape that this is what he has chosen to do of his own free will._

_Th-the ends justify the means... Procrustes will never harm another...  
  
_

* * *

  
Asterius lowers his axe, nodding as Zagreus signals that he's stopping for now. They've been training for quite some time now. Even without any value to time, Asterius can tell that much. During their sessions, Asterius's main role has been to act as Heracles, since he is the closest in size, but he hasn't minded this.

From Asterius's judgement, this has been going well. Theseus and Zagreus certainly bicker, but it no longer stops the short one from listening to what he is being taught, nor does it stop Theseus from keeping focus in his guidance. Perhaps lying together has proven good for them, although Asterius decides not to say this out loud.

And even though he's the one who called for a break, Zagreus looks energised.

“You know, I think I've had an idea,” Zagreus announces, looking between the two of them, “Perhaps it would take too much out of me to go all the way back to the house and come back here. Besides, I've been training with this specific boon set all this time, so I should probably stick to it. But I can still travel around _Elysium_ to collect more.” He raises a hand before Theseus can object, “I know, I know, I can't rely on brute-forcing him using the powers of the gods and he may god-block me by calling upon whatever god I call upon, like, uh, I did to you. Kind of. But if I can get Bronze Skin from Athena, then it'll give me some resistance for if I do get hit, and Hermes has a lot of boons that will stop me from getting hit in the first place.”

As he talks, Zagreus is practically bouncing on his feet with the effort to stay in one place. He feels confident in his idea.

“I suppose that it shan't hurt to take a break for a practical reason. Just try not to get yourself slain by a Soul Catcher while you're out there,” Theseus replies.

“Your faith in me has been duly noted.”

Zagreus turns to dash off, but before he can, Theseus calls after him.

“Daemon!”

“Yes?”

“...I am certain that you know this already, but if you can swap out Poseidon's dash for that of Athena, that would aid you better here. Then you can focus on obtaining Brilliant Riposte, which will in turn open the door for Divine Protection. As much as finding these will come down to luck,” Theseus states, looking away, moodily, “This is all very basic, but I say so on the chance that it hasn't crossed your mind.”

“Got it! I'll focus on that if you guys can find the poms to power them up! It's... probably not cheating if we work together on this.”

With that, Zagreus dashes away through the nearest gate, which closes behind them. He seems to know that Elysium will eventually lead him back to where he needs to be. Or else he is just reckless. Asterius isn't certain of which.

But when Asterius turns to look at Theseus, he notes that, not for the first time, the king is looking towards the space where Zagreus once was with something of surprise.

“Is all well, my king?”

“Yes, it's just... odd that he would listen so freely without argument. I would have been more stubborn in his place.”

“Perhaps the short one has come to respect your words on this.” Which isn't as surprising to Asterius as it seems to be to Theseus; “He is not without reason. I believe that if he knows someone is helping him, he will listen.”

“I-I'm not unreasonable either, Asterius...!”

“You know that is not what I meant, my king.”

Seeing Theseus's indignation has Asterius do something that he's never done before: he gives a fond chuckle at his king's expense. Theseus flusters, folding his arms and looking away, the colour in his cheeks obvious.

“W-well, all that aside, it might be nice to have a break as just the two of us, Asterius. We haven't had a chance to talk about what happened prior.” At this, Theseus glances back to him, his nerves evident; “I would like to talk to you about it, my friend.”

“King...”

Asterius steps forward and he hears Theseus's breath catch in his throat. He leans down, but as Theseus's eyes flutter closed, Asterius reaches past him and into the bushes behind them, grabbing onto something before it has the chance to flit away again. The “something” lets out a strangled noise.

Theseus's eyes snap open and he turns around to face whatever Asterius has grabbed, spear at the ready.

“What dishonest stain upon Elysium would dare to spy upon two warriors in a private moment! A good eye on you for spotting it, Asterius. Now bring it out so that we may run it through!”

With this, Asterius pulls his hand back to find that he has grasped the scrawny god, Momus, by his neck. Given that Momus was the top of his list of suspects, Asterius can't say that this development is unexpected. All the same, his grip tightens.

“I believe he has been watching us for some time, my king.”

“Spying for Heracles, no doubt!”

With this, Momus suddenly disappears from Asterius's grip in a poof of darkness. Instead, he appears before them, hands behind his back. Both Asterius and Theseus ready their weapons, knowing that his intent can only be hostile.

“Oh, would you two calm down, already,” Momus drawls, “Do you think Heracles cares that much about what you're doing? Or even that _I_ care that much about what Heracles thinks, for that matter? Look, the guy is catching up with all his dearly departed warrior buddies. And probably chasing chiton, knowing him.”

“Why should we believe the words of a trickster?” Theseus demands.

Momus rolls his eyes; “I mean, don't believe me, for all I care. For what it's worth, I was curious about _him.”_

It is Asterius who Momus nods towards. Which does little to win him any favours with Theseus.

“Don't you go near the noble Asterius, Bull of Minos and my shared Champion of Elysium! His time is worth more than that of a lowly snake like yourself!”

_“The noble Asterius? My dear friend Asterius? Beloved companion Asterius, who I think of night and day?”_ Momus echoes, in a mocking imitation of Theseus's own voice, “Certain that I do not think of the Minotaur as much as you do, King Theseus. Anyone, living or dead, can see that. As transparent as you are.” With this, Momus looks up to address Asterius directly, “Do you know, on the surface, there are countless dedications to his battle with you? Theseus did a lot while he was alive. He slayed a lot of beasts – _hah!_ \- but you're the one everyone talks about, Minotaur. I strongly suspect that he had your form immortalised in art so many times because he himself just wanted to look upon you himself.”

For once, Theseus does not speak up. So Asterius does it for him.

“How I am remembered means little to me. I care only of the opinion of my king, who has proven himself to me in life and death.”

“Perhaps, but it means something to me, in my line of work.” At this, Momus takes his hands out from behind his back, a staff of some sort clutched in one of them; “In the hierarchy of gods, I mean very little, but I've come to realise that you mortals place a lot of value on your own entertainment, even if the gods themselves do not. Why do you think Dionysus has flourished? Anyway, satire and mockery. That's me. I find what's beloved and I pick it apart. Because everything has something to pick apart. Some tiny thread that I can tug at until the cloth is torn away. Some things have a lot of loose threads.”

Here, he winks at Theseus. But Asterius isn't having it.

“Your existence sounds pathetic, scrawny god. It must be hollow to look at everything and see only the flaws.”

“Eh, I get by. Give it a few centuries and I'll be a lot more relevant, if the Fates are right, and I'm happy to lay low until then. But whatever you think, the fact is the the story of Theseus and the Minotaur is told over and over on the surface. I've heard it _sooo many times,_ almost as much as Heracles's overrated deeds. That's why I wanted to see this bull-man for myself.”

“You've seen me. Now leave us before I make you.”

“Tough guy. You're definitely his type. But I'd put coin on that not being the real reason why he likes you.”

“We've given you a chance to leave, snake-tongue! You choose to loiter and thus we shall slay you!”

“Looks like your king's found his voice again, Minotaur.”

When Asterius glances to his side, he notices that Theseus regards Momus a lot more fearfully than he did before. His stance his shaken and his eyes are transfixed on the scrawny god, as if seeing him properly for the first time. As if seeing something that Asterius does not.

“My king?”

“But _is_ he your king? Is he really yours? Not yours alone, that's for sure.”

Momus plucks the metallic mask from the shoulder of his robes, placing it across his face. The darkness swells around him, thick and uneasy. When it clears, the appearance of Momus has changed completely. No longer is he lanky and human-like, but instead he is a horned creature with fur as dark as the night.

A creature that, it turns out, is familiar to Theseus.

“Oizys...”  
  


* * *

  
_“Oizys.”_

_There is a pause for thought before the creature answers. Had Theseus been of sound mind, he may have stopped to think that this answer isn't honest. That the creature before him is not, in fact, called Oizys. But at this very moment, several factors come into play. Theseus is still light-headed and sickened by his own murder of Procrustes. Not so much at the murder itself, but at his methods. As well as this, he feels a large amount of gratitude to Oizys for coming to his rescue. But that is not the only feeling that the prince feels for Oizys. When he gazes upon the form of this creature, it is hard to fight back everything that he's been denying himself for so long. Oizys is a beast, but also human in many ways. That combination is exciting._

_When Prince Theseus had first laid eyes on a centaur, having only heard tales of them before, it awakened something peculiar inside of him. At the wedding he had swiftly slain the centaur under the guise of protecting his dearest friend. But the seed that it planted inside him would not be ignored._

_Oizys is... more human than a centaur in all the right places. But still a beast. Still with horns that Theseus could grip and eyes in strange places that could watch him and teeth that could sink into his skin..._

_“I o-owe a debt to you, Oizys,” Theseus manages to say, lowering himself to a bow, “For whatever reason you chose to take my side, I thank you.”_

_“There is no need to get into that debt business with me, Prince of Athens. Is it not enough that I helped you of my own choice and now shall be on my way?”_

_Now shall be on my way...?_

_“Wait! No, it is not enough!” Theseus finds himself springing up, gripping Oizys around a hooved ankle, “Perhaps you see debts as a silly, human thing, but I would like to repay you! In fact, I demand that you let me!”_

_The swirling darkness returns, wrapping itself around the prince. He releases the ankle immediately and allows himself to be moved by it, carrying him until he is level with the glowing eyes of Oizys._

_“How could you repay me, Prince of Athens?”_

_Theseus's heart is hammering. His blood runs hot. He's never wanted a mere mortal man as much as he wants this creature. He can no longer deny himself these desires._

_“Use me however you see fit...!” Theseus permits, although it is more like he is begging for it, “Before you leave tonight, I will serve your purpose!”  
  
_

* * *

  
_“Use me however you see fit...! Before you leave tonight, I will serve your purpose!”_

The words echo around them, as if being spoken from the other side of a gate. Asterius has never heard anything like this before, so he knows not what to compare the quality of sound to. But it is certainly Theseus's voice, albeit younger, crying out these words.

And it is also Theseus's face, as Asterius remembers him in life, that he sees plastered across every surface before them here in Elysium, as if they are watching a play performed at exactly the same time, by many identical actors. Theseus as he was back then, when he was a prince. He does not adorn the red cape that he wore when he came to the Labyrinth, but his long hair flows down from his back, his firm muscles are bronze and his shining, eager eyes are blue. It is unmistakably him.

The creature with Prince Theseus is also the same one who currently stands before them, showing them these images.

“Oizys is my sister,” Momus lazily admits, “You never met my sister, Prince of Athens. It was always me.”  
  


* * *

  
_The prince allows himself to get caught up in the tendrils of darkness, clinging onto Oizys for dear life. There is obviously no longer a free bed in the room, but they don't let this stop them. Indeed, Oizys doesn't hold back because of this._

_Theseus wraps his hands around both of the horns as the dark essence pushes up inside of him, the sensation both moist and smoky at the same time. It is nothing that Theseus has experienced before, nothing that he could experience from a mere human. But this creature that chooses to do this to him is not human._

_In this moment, Theseus cannot understand why he's denied himself his lust for so long! How could anyone not be excited at the prospect of being pushed to the brink by the unknown? It is so dangerous. Should Oizys choose, Theseus could be ripped apart by teeth or impaled onto these horns at any moment. All the prince has is a thin layer of trust in a creature that is not like him and might not even be of this world._

_It's only one night. He's repaying a debt. If he gets something out of it himself – something that he's needed for so very long – then is that so wrong? No one ever has to know about this. A beast like Oizys would be slain should it ever set foot into Athens. By that logic, this secret is indeed the safest one that could be._   
  


* * *

  
“You are a trickster by your own admission. What you show us are lies.”

Asterius shall not be swayed. Momus seems to realise this and waves the distorted images away with that strange wand of his. But he is not done yet.

“Your king is oddly quiet right now, wouldn't you say?” Momus points out.

Indeed, when Asterius looks to Theseus he sees that the king looks... worse than Asterius has ever seen him before. Like all of his darkest fears have been dragged to the surface for all to see. Or, more specifically, for Asterius to see. C-could this... actually be the truth...?

“Lemme show you another, bull-man! I've got plenty.”

The mask appears in Momus's hand and he is a scrawny god once more. But when it covers his face, he changes again.  
  


* * *

  
_The prince feels the barbed appendage dig into his skin as it enters him. He cries out, in pain, but with no desire for the half-feline creature to stop. This **will** scar. But then, who else is going to see those scars, once Theseus redresses and carries on his way?_

_It isn't as if Theseus has been lying with any men lately._   
  


* * *

  
“Look, I'm not saying they were _all_ me. But that one was me,” Momus gleefully admits.  
  


* * *

  
_Finally, an actual ogre! The Chthonic Guardians had been such a let-down in that regard. Just over-glorified elders who'd been torturing long enough to be recognised by the gods. But this, this is what it's truly all about._

_The Prince of Athens is fully aware that he may actually be ripped to shreds this time. That fear has yet to stop him, however._   
  


* * *

  
“Honestly? That one wasn't me. That was an actual ogre, you were right. I just happened to pass by and catch it going on. You were the highest-regarded hero at the time. Who else was there to watch once Heracles retired?” Momus's eyes are lidded, “...You were a lot more entertaining than Heracles ever was.”

Still, King Theseus says nothing.

“You were so ridiculous that it was funny!” Momus carries on, “Every time you'd throw yourself at any half-man half-beast that would give you half a chance. Friend or foe, it mattered not. As long as word didn't get back home, right? The only word that ever got back was of your impressive deeds slaying such creatures. That's a lotta artist interpretation, wouldn't you say? Oh, you were filled with shame afterwards, but it never stopped you. Let's see a few more! I've got loads of these!”

Suddenly, the reflected images aren't mirroring the same moment in time, but each show a different event. Each shows a different time that Prince Theseus lay with... with something that wasn't human. A satyr. A nymph. An ogre. A were-cat. A giant. A... a creature of half-human proportions.

A beast.

A beast like Asterius...

“You're not special to him.” These words cut through all of what Asterius is seeing. “You're a fetish. The next on a long list. You think he came for you because he respects you as a person? No, it's the other half of you that he-”

_**“SILENCE, SNAKE-TONGUE!”** _

Finally, Theseus speaks up.

He throws his spear at Momus, but the scrawny god dodges to aside. At the very least, it does disrupt him from whatever godly magic he's using to display all of these images of the past. They vanish when he moves.

“Don't you dare say such vile untruths of Asterius, who is the most wonderful warrior I know!” Theseus bellows, “My feelings for him have naught to do with any of this!”

“...Then look him in the eyes and tell him that everything I've shown him is real. That I'm not making it up. If your love for him is as strong as you claim.”

Asterius watches as Theseus freezes up. It's true. Before Theseus even turns to look up at him, Asterius knows that all of this is true. That all the experience Theseus has in that regard... comes from this. No other opinion of anyone at all has ever mattered to Asterius since he came to Elysium, only that of his king. But Theseus's words matter to him a lot.

To have his king's love is all that Asterius has ever wanted. He should not question where it comes from. Whatever the reason for it, Asterius should consider himself lucky to hold these feelings at all.

So then... why does it hurt?

“My dearest Asterius... it would be wrong for me to lie to you,” Theseus says, sounding more worn-down than ever before, “...What you have seen is the truth. I did... commit all of those acts in life. But please believe me when I say that my feelings for you don't stem from this! That you mean more to me than any other!”

“I am glad that you would not lie to me, my- ...Theseus.”

Yet Asterius finds himself turning away, unable to look upon Theseus in this moment. Does Asterius feel disgusted in himself that he cannot immediately accept that all of this is fine upon hearing Theseus's explanation? Does he feel his heart ache at the possibility that he may be another beast who Theseus has laid with?

Asterius has never felt a pain like this before. It overwhelms him.

“I need time.”

On these words, Asterius leaves.


	8. prince theseus and the minotaur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tale of Prince Theseus, who sailed to Crete on his quest to slay the Minotaur and free the people of Athens from the pact that binds them to King Minos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to hold off posting this chapter for another day, but after how angsty yesterday's chapter was I thought I'd push ahead to give you folks the next one now.
> 
> By the way, the statue that Theseus's dad had commission is [this one here.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2c/Antonio_Canova_Teseo_defeats_the_centaur.jpg/1280px-Antonio_Canova_Teseo_defeats_the_centaur.jpg) Our boy was blessed with many monsterfucking statues to his legacy.
> 
> **EDIT:** I'm sure you've all seen this by now, but we were recently [blessed with a full-body image of Prince Theseus from early concept art of the game](https://www.theverge.com/2021/3/5/22315749/hades-theseus-worst-character-zagreus-supergiant) (although I can't say I agree with that article's title, haha), so I've made some minor edits to this chapter to reflect Theseus's appearance based on this.

_The rest of the prince's journey to Athens is not without incident, but honestly, after all that he has already endured, he finds it just rings in his ears and blends together. A few more foes to conquer, a few more trials to pass, the Marathonian Bull to slay, poison to avoid drinking by accident and... several more rounds of his new favourite hobby._

_Truly, the part that sticks in his mind is his father's face upon his arrival at the palace. King Aegeus embraces him tightly, sobbing into his shoulders as he does. For a long time now, it has been just the two of them and in hindsight, Theseus feels guilty for having left his father for so long in the pursuit of such a foolish task. But no matter his own thoughts, his father forgives him. More than that, he never even blamed Theseus in the first place._

_When he pulls away from the hug, his father holds his shoulders and regards him fondly._

_“My son! Look at you. Truly, you have grown as a person since when you left. Words of your exploits reached me each day. The roads to Troezen are safe now, because of you, Theseus!”_

_“I only did what any would do, Father.”_

_All Theseus can hope is that the words that have reached his father are that of the Six Labours and nothing else. Although he rather expects his father would bring it up if... any other word had gotten back to him about Theseus's... other activities._

_“You are too modest, Theseus. Other men would've returned to Athens by sea, but instead you fought bravely and achieved so much. When I think back to the boy who left, I can scarcely believe who you've become. I am proud.”_

_“Pirithous didn't make it. You must've heard that, as well,” Theseus presses, because it would be wrong to leave this unsaid._

_“Yes, indeed I feel sorrow for the loss of your dear friend. Lapiths weeps for their king, but they do not blame you,” his father informs, “In fact, they see you as a hero for loyally supporting him in his quest to venture into the underworld.”_

_“I... see.”_

_Theseus isn't sure how to deal with this. He should be blamed, surely. It was partly by his own choice that he left Pirithous in the underworld and returned to the world of the living with Heracles; and yet not only has he been forgiven by Pirithous's own people, but they think of him as a hero. They think of him as loyal._

_His doubts seem to be lost on his father, however, because in the next moment, Theseus finds himself being led through the halls._

_“You must gaze upon this, my son. I had it made for you; the first of many, I can imagine!”_

_As his father gestures, Theseus looks on to be greeted by a grand and incredibly specific statue, detailing Theseus at the wedding of Pirithous and Hippodamia, club held high as he is about to... defeat the centaur._

_**That** centaur. **That** wedding._

_This is awkward._

_But he cannot let that show on his face. He hides his nerves by flicking his hair over his shoulder, giving his father what he hopes is an approving nod._

_“It certainly is a wonderful statue, father. Thank you for... this. Sincerely, I thank you.”_

_“Do not thank me, Theseus,” his father says, slapping his back, “I only wish that I could've captured some of your other deeds. I had this commissioned soon after you left and, well, at that point this was your greatest deed. But there is so much more now! Soon enough, your face will be adorned on every vase and wall in Athens.”_

_Probably best to steer the artists towards the defeat of the bandits themselves and less towards the... beasts. Although, having said that, it is a rather nice sculpture, isn't it? The artist has captured the centaur quite accurately. Perhaps Theseus could stay and look for a while-_

_...His father is already leading him away. Theseus allows himself to be steered from the statue._

_“My son, I know that after your long journey home that you must wish for little more than to rest. Certainly, I shall grant you this. But first, there is a matter on which I would like your opinion.”_

_“Certainly, Father. Whatever it is, you need only ask and I'll give you the best answer I can.”_

_This is a first. The King has never asked for Theseus's input on any matters of import before now. His father has always adored Theseus, but perhaps he always view him as lacking the responsibility needed to attend such matters. If the defeat of the Chthonic Guardians has proven Theseus's worth to his father, and his worth in one day becoming king, then Theseus is glad._

_But when he hears the topic at hand, this feeling of gladness is soon cut short._

_“It's Minos.”_

_That's all his father needs to say._

_Minos. The King of Crete. A madman, by every regard. A madman with whom Athens has made an unfortunate and unbreakable deal, all because of his father's actions. Theseus knows that his father blames himself for this each day, but with the consequences of his actions limited to once every seven years, it's easy to forgot. At least until this time comes._

_“Has it been so long already?” Theseus finds himself asking, although he already knows the answer._

_“Yes, my son. For the third time, I must make my selection and it has been... taxing on me. I would never wish to put upon you something so harrowing, but if you feel that you could assist me in making my decision. There is no better judge of courageous young men than yourself. And beautiful maidens, of course. But that goes without saying.”_

_Every seven years, seven men and seven women are sailed to Crete, where they are to be sacrificed to the dreaded Minotaur of the Labyrinth. Fourteen of their own, lost. None survive. No one has ever escaped the Labyrinth once they've been placed inside and the Minotaur itself is known to be unbeatable._

_Yet... the Chthonic Guardians had also be seen as unbeatable and they had been somewhat underwhelming, at least to Theseus._

_“Father?”_

_“Yes, Theseus?”_

_“I think that... I have an idea. Of one of the men who we could send to King Minos as a sacrifice. You won't like it, but I implore that you respect me enough to hear me out.”_

_That had been how it started._

_As Theseus had predicted, his father did not like the idea.  
  
_

* * *

  
**If I had only listened to him back then... If I'd stepped aside and let another go in my place. You would have lived.**  
  


* * *

  
_“You truly cannot be swayed in your decision, my son?”_

_This is where Prince Theseus and King Aegeus part ways. It had been Theseus's want for this to be a quiet send-off, that he might sneak onto the ship, disguised as a peasant, so thus to draw less attention. Once he arrives in Crete, he will fool them at the other end, but here and now, he cannot escape his father's desire to bid him farewell._

_Had he known at this point what he would later come to know, perhaps he would've spent more time with his father during this send-off. Perhaps there would be more words that he'd want to say._

_As it stands, he smiles at his father and shakes his head._

_“I appreciate your concern, but I must do this,” Theseus assures him, placing his hand on top of his father's own, “In my travels, I have become the greatest warrior in Athens, Father. This I believe to be true. Therefore, I shall be the one to enter the Labyrinth and slay the Minotaur! Ridding Athens of this cursed pact once and for all!”_

_In doing so, he will also free his father from the shame the poor man feels at being responsible for it in the first place._

_“Theseus, you speak much more confidently now,” his father praises, “Even so, it would tear me apart to think that you fell to the Minotaur because I let you go ahead with this. How can I know of your safe return?”_

_But Theseus has an answer for that, as well. He lets go of his father's hand, instead pointing upwards to the black sails of the ship._

_“Father, we have always used these sails to signify the painful voyage of the sacrifices. But upon my return, if I have slain the Minotaur, then I will change the sails to white. Then you will know of my victory and celebrate for all of Athens!”_

_This seems to be satisfactory. His father nods in response; “Then I shall await your return from the cliff by the shore and when I see those white sails, all shall know that nothing could defeat my proud son.”_

_Proud son. He will make his father proud, that is his intention._

_With this vow established, the prince bids his father farewell and the two part ways once again, so soon after Theseus has returned to Athens. He joins the other sacrifices below deck. Of course they know of him, but even so, they are sworn to secrecy. As much as it is Theseus's intent to blend in with them, he does not speak much during the journey. So aware he is that their fates rest in his hands. Thirteen sets of eyes keep glancing over to him. They are as much aware of this as he is. Yet without him, they would be doomed to death, regardless._

_It is hard to be certain of the exact length of the journey, shut away from the sun as they are, but eventually, the boat comes to harbour at Crete and the sacrifices are delivered from the ship to be presented before King Minos himself. Before that, they are stripped of their weapons, as would be expected. They shall face the Minotaur with no means to defend themselves._

_Suddenly, Theseus is grateful for his rough introduction to wrestling at the hands of the roadside king. It may well aid him yet._

_Fourteen are stood before King Minos and his daughter, the Princess Ariadne, so that they might be observed in their last moments of life. Many of them are naked. Theseus is too, save for the cape of blue and gold that he adorns. Shall he be recognised as a prince, he will not attempt to hide it. But luckily for him, King Minos is as mad as they claim._

_His daughter, however, is not.  
  
_

* * *

  
**She was your sister... You have spoke of her, but never did you get the chance to meet her. I could've given you that chance.**  
  


* * *

  
_Theseus does not like to think of himself as hostile, but when the princess approaches him, he realises that he has his back up, so aware he is that she might expose his disguise._

_At first, Ariadne does not make her intent clear. They are on her dancing-grounds, made for her by Daedalus, the most legendary inventor to have ever lived. It is of Theseus's understanding that Daedalus himself created the Labyrinth and thus, the prince would have liked to have spoken with him before being made to enter. But Daedalus is noted to show little concern for anything outside of his craft and thus would not attend a social gathering such as this._

_“Social gathering” being a poor way to refer to the last night that the sacrifices are to spend alive, before being abandoned in the Labyrinth and left to their fate._

_As it stands, Ariadne comes to Theseus and he has no grounds on which to turn her away when she requests that he takes her hand in dance. Naturally, as a prince, he is familiar with such dances, as the Princess of Crete is in turn. Perhaps this is what gives the truth behind his identity away to her. For after but a few minutes, she leans in close and whispers._

_“Are you here to slay the Minotaur, Prince?”_

_He does not let go of her, lest he give himself away to more than just Ariadne and the thirteen other Athenians who know of his presence. Instead, he blinks back his surprise and continues in their dance, his mind reeling as he considers how to respond._

_She decides for him. Upon spinning close to Theseus once more, she again whispers to him, “Come speak with me alone.”_

_Theseus frowns. He moves his arm, so that she may be moved with it, yet tugs her back in close a little swifter than the dance intends._

_“There is no reason to talk.”_

_“I can help you.”_

_There is, then, a reason to talk._

_These words are exchanged in but a moment, yet Theseus's mind has been made up. For while he should have little trust towards Minos's daughter, he would be a fool to turn away any help that he may be granted. Even if it could turn out to be a trap, it may be worth the risk._

_Ariadne does not await his decision. She leaves him soon after, moving on to dance with another, lest she raise suspicion. Perhaps he can trust her. Theseus hopes so. In turn, he continues to adhere to the festivities, watching her from the corner of his eye for any chance they may get to leave the gathering and speak alone. It takes a long while for this to pass. Of the thirteen men and women who have come here with him, it turns out that many of them wish for this unexpected opportunity to dance with their prince, on the chance that, should Theseus fail tomorrow, this might be their last night alive. The prince finds that their dances are much less formal than that of Ariadne, yet... he enjoys them. For but a short while, he can ignore the looming threat of the Minotaur and feel like naught but a person._

_After an amount of hours for which he is unclear, Theseus feels a hand rest in his own and turns to be faced with Ariadne once more. She nods to him and, at last, the two of them slip away together unnoticed into the cool night._

_Had it been Theseus's intent to escape, he would presently have been granted with an easy chance to do so. But he will not abandon his mission or the Athenians. Ariadne must know this. She is placing a lot of trust in him._

_Only when they are truly alone does Theseus speak._

_“How do I know that I can trust your help?”_

_It is a reasonable question. If he cannot, then this conversation will be short._

_“Because I, too, am trapped by him,” Ariadne says, her eyes trained on his own, “My father has no love for his children. Any of us. I wish to aid you in return for my safe passage out of Crete.”_

_“What aid do you refer to?” Theseus asks, doubting that Ariadne will enter the Labyrinth herself._

_“Promise me first!” she demands, clutching his hands, “Promise me that if I let you into the Labyrinth ahead of the others and provide my support to you, that once you are victorious, we shall be wed, so that my father has no claim to return me here upon my escape.”_

_“B-be wed?”_

_Perhaps childishly, this is the part that Theseus gets tripped up on. He has yet to put a single thought into taking a wife, so distracted that he's been by... other desires. Least of all would he think this about someone he has just met._

_Yet... to be let into the Labyrinth early would give him a chance to slay the Minotaur ahead of the others being placed inside it themselves. It would give his people a greater chance of survival. Ariadne has also promised other assistance, besides this._

_As a prince, Theseus must choose to accept her offer._

_“Very well, I agree to your terms.”_

_He isn't certain what will become of Ariadne once the Minotaur is defeated and he sails back to Athens (to be wed...), but he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it. For now, he must focus on the task at hand. At the very least, Ariadne looks pleased that he would agree without too much persuasion._

_“Then here is what I can offer you, Prince Theseus.”_

_She takes from her satchel a ball of golden yarn and Theseus can't hide the disappointment on his face as he accepts it from her. The yarn bonds with his arm, turning red as it wraps around his skin all the way up, so clearly it is of magical quality, but even so._

_“Is this all? Just yarn?”_

_“Daedalus himself advised that I give this to you, so that you shall be able to retrace your steps. Along with it, he sends these words.” Here, Ariadne pauses, ensuring that she has the instructions correct in her head, so that she might pass them on accurately; “...You are to go forwards, always down, and never left or right.”_

_“Never left or right? That seems easy enough to remember,” Theseus agrees, “If Daedalus himself claims so, then it must be true.”_

_There is still the possibility that Ariadne may be trying to trick Theseus on her father's behalf, but for the early access to the Labyrinth alone, this will be worth it. Should all go well, Theseus may have the Minotaur lying dead at his feet before morning._

_With these lofty intentions in mind, Theseus allows himself to be led by Ariadne to yet another entrance to the Labyrinth, being careful not to be sighted by any of Minos's men as they sneak across the stony paths. The door is pulled open and Theseus can't help but wonder if he is the first man that Ariadne has asked to complete this task for her._

_“If I am not back by morn, your father will surely notice one missing sacrifices.”_

_“He won't. I promise you that he won't. If you are so concerned, then do not waste time and go forth with haste.”_

_Theseus turns back to look at her from where he's already climbed in through the small, stone entrance to the Labyrinth; “I would never waste time! Do not insult me so.”_

_“You are cut from the hero cloth,” Ariadne agrees, “...Prince, do you think there is a chance that you could complete this task without slaying the Minotaur?”_

_“Do you jest? My task is to slay the Minotaur. I cannot do this without, well, slaying the Minotaur!”_

_Ariadne looks away; “Asterius... He is my brother. I've not seen him since we were both children, but... he didn't ask for this. If there is another way, if you can find another way, I ask that you look for it.”_

_With this, Ariadne pulls the stone door closed behind her, shutting Theseus into the Labyrinth and presumably, shutting the Minotaur out. She does not give him a chance to respond to her words, but honestly, Theseus knows not what he would say. Asterius? Her brother? Such nonsense as he's never heard!_

_Theseus ties the end of the yarn to the post by the closed door; it unravels on its own, without hindering his movements as he sets off into the gloom.  
  
_

* * *

  
**Should have listened to her... Should've at least tried to find another way...**  
  


* * *

  
_At first, there is some dim light from the moon shining overhead, serving as a reminder that the prince has a time limit on his task. Though he reasons with himself that, even if he is not able to slay the Minotaur by morning, he will at least be far enough ahead that the Minotaur should pursue him instead of the thirteen Athenians._

_Depending on where the beast lies in wait..._

_This chilling thought hits him and Theseus finds himself looking around every passage that he walks by, his footsteps as silent as a mouse. He heeds Ariadne's words by never going left or right, but that doesn't stop him from looking, all the same._

_When he thinks about it, if the Minotaur is free to roam, then how can Theseus be certain that these directions shall lead directly to it?_

_The Minotaur could be anywhere._

_At least his directions are simple. Or so, they seems as such on the surface. After following the path directly ahead for a short time, Theseus comes to the first dip in the road. A flight of stairs leading downwards. “Always down”. He knows what he must do._

_Upon his descent, the moonlight above disappears, leaving him truly in the dark. He immediately misses it, his eyes blinking into the airy black nothing surrounding him. He cannot even light a torch, had he the means to light one, because it may alert the Minotaur to his presence._

_So far, there is not a sound. His own breath feels louder than it should be, for all that Theseus does to silence it. In time, his eyes adjust to the lack of light, his hands brushing lightly against the mossy walls as he walks. Always ahead. Never left or right. At intervals, there are more steps and, given Theseus's previous adventure with Pirithous, he could be forgiven his fears that he may once more be headed down to the depths of the underworld._

_P-paranoia. That's all it is. Nothing more._

_Despite himself, he can't help but compliment Daedalus's design as he walks. Even knowing where he needs to go, each stairway is at enough of an interval so that every time Theseus can feel himself starting to adjust to the level he is on, he must move down another. He can only imagine how impossible this would be for one who has not been told the way, who could stray from the path and wander forever. One wrong turn and that could be him._

_There is also the matter of the sickening crunches beneath his feet. On the surface, it had been mostly the fallen leaves from the trees above, but the lower that Theseus has come into the depths, the more sinister it has become. He dare not look down, for he does not want his suspicions to be confirmed. But soon enough, his foot crunches on something unmistakably round, which causes him to slip and fall into..._

_...into a pile of bones. Human bones._

_There are so many! Every seven years, fourteen Athenians are placed into the Labyrinth and this is the third time this has taken place. That is twenty-eight people, but Theseus can only assume that King Minos must keep the beast fed by other means between this. Besides, he cannot say how long the Minotaur took to find these people each time. Were they in the Labyrinth for but a single day? A few weeks? Months? Even years? Could there still be Athenians wandering lost after fourteen years? Somehow, Theseus doubts it, although the Labyrinth is certainly big enough._

_All he can say for definite is that the Minotaur has been in this very place and consumed human flesh before._

_With this thought in mind, he pulls himself up from the pile of bones, trying to make as little noise as possible. He cannot afford to grieve for them. All he can do is press on to prevent more from meeting their fate._

_And if Theseus thought that he was coming across a lot of bones when he passed the few scattered piles before, the further he gets to the centre of the Labyrinth, the more that he comes across. It becomes no longer a case of the Minotaur having been here, but instead that the Minotaur frequents here. Whether many people get this far or else the monster drags their corpses back before consuming them, Theseus does not know. He does not want to know._

_More steps. More bones. More darkness. The only blessing is that his ball of yarn shows no sign of running out, even now. Theseus can only assume that it is enchanted in some way. It will lead him home._

_But before that, he leads himself here._

_All too suddenly, the prince finds himself in a large, circular room, like none that he has come across until now. For it **is** a room, not a passageway. There is no other entrance save for the one that Theseus has come through._

_This must be the actual Heart of the Labyrinth._

_The prince braces himself, but he is alone. The Minotaur must be out on the prowl, possibly aware of what will be coming in a few hours, but not aware that one of the sacrifices is already here. Once Theseus is certain that he's alone, he allows the tension to lift from his shoulders. He takes this chance to look around._

_To his surprise, there are no bones or human remains here. Evidently, the Minotaur does not eat in the same place that it lays its head. There is, however, a pile of straw and leaves that has been fashioned into a bed. The base of this is fresh enough that it can only be assumed the Minotaur remakes this regularly. So the Minotaur... crafted this bed? Theseus doesn't know if he can believe such a theory when the Minotaur is but a beast! A dumb animal, surely!_

_Ariadne had called it “Asterius” and her brother._

_Well, if nothing else, the bed will give Theseus an idea of its size. Which is... large. Impressively so. Larger than any of the Chthonic Guardians that he fought when he returned to Athens. Theseus places his hand onto the dint in the bed and finds some strands of fur remain, oddly soft against the cold and basic room._

_There are also the remains of torches. He can see their outlines on the walls, but beyond that, there is one lying on the ground near the bed._

_A little too near the bed._

_If Theseus assumes that the Minotaur is smart enough to craft a bed and make use of torches, he must also assume it is smart enough to know not to hold a fire so close to straw and leaves. This torch has been extinguished recently! Then dropped in a haste!_

_The Minotaur has set a trap!_

_The very moment this hits Theseus, he ducks down and rolls to the side, narrowly avoiding the set of jaws that was about to clamp down on his head. He rights himself, turning to see what he has feared encountering this whole time._

_“Minotaur! How did you move so silently?”_

_There is no longer a need to stay quiet, much to Theseus's relief. He finds that yelling out these words seems to help his nerves, even if it achieves nothing._

_The beast does not answer him, but it turns to face him, clearly angered that Theseus caught onto its ruse. That is when Theseus gets his first good look at it... At **him...!**_

_Any man could be forgiven for stopping to stare at the Minotaur. For there is not a single man alive with a form so impressive! Even in the darkened room, Theseus can make out every well-formed muscle across the Minotaur's vast figure, his proud horns that are grander than that of Oizys, his black hair lying atop fine brown fur and his eyes, so intently set on the prince._

_The Minotaur is beautiful! Nay, he is beauty itself redefined!  
  
_

* * *

  
**Maybe my feelings for you were just born of my gross desires all along... Perhaps the snake-tongue is right...**  
  


* * *

  
_The prince has all but a few seconds to fall into lust with the Minotaur before said Minotaur turns and charges for him again. There is a large axe on the ground. Theseus almost trips upon it in his efforts to dodge. He can only conclude that it belongs to the Minotaur and, if the Minotaur takes it, then he will be armed, while Theseus is not._

_To stop this from happening, Theseus braces himself, pushing forward and clasping hands with the Minotaur in a surprising show of strength. At least, surprising for the Minotaur, anyway. They struggle against each other and, despite himself, Theseus finds that he's grinning._

_“Have you never been faced head-on before, Minotaur? Allow me to be the first!”_

_He pushes back, his muscles screaming out at him, but he will not give in. Catching the Minotaur off-guard has given Theseus a small advantage that should not be wasted. Theseus manages to back him up against the wall, one of the unlit torches falling from its holder at the impact._

_“You will not defeat me, fine beast! I will slay you and carry your body to the surface atop my powerful shoulders before the others even arise from their beds!”_

_There is the slight problem when you have a giant Minotaur pinned to a wall of not knowing exactly what to do next. Theseus is having this problem at present. In his brief moment of hesitation, during which he feigns confidence by spouting those words, the Minotaur leans its head in close. So mesmerised that Theseus is by him, that he forgets the Minotaur attempted to bite his head off little more than a minute ago._

_Fortunately for him, that is not what the Minotaur does now._

_“You talk more than any who've been here before. Let's hear if you scream louder, too.”_

_In hindsight, coming into the Labyrinth naked, save for the cape on his back, might not have been the prince's wisest idea. Just hearing the Minotaur's voice sends a rush of excitement surging downwards._

_During this moment, the Minotaur overpowers him, pushing back against Theseus to knock him down. Theseus hits the ground with a “thud!”, only just managing to raise his arms to stop the Minotaur from boring down onto him. Even if... part of him would like that. He feels his face darken, hopefully hidden by the lack of light in the room, but he does not give in._

_“You will never hear me scream, Minotaur!”_

_In a bold gambit, he reaches up and grips the Minotaur's horns, using them as leverage to pull himself up and swing out from under him._

_“Hah! I'm free!”_

_“Not for long.”_

_The Minotaur's voice is oddly calm; deep and intense. It matches his rugged fighting style too greatly. But more than this, as they fight on, never once does the Minotaur attempt to grab his axe from where it lies, although this would give him an incredible advantage._

_Does the Minotaur fight... with honour?_

_As this dawns on Theseus, he finds himself calling out, saying words that he did not intend to say._

_“Your sister, Princess Ariadne, sent me! She calls you Asterius and asks for me to spare you if I can!”_

_There is the briefest of doubt that passes across the Minotaur's movements, slowing him for but a second. Then he shakes it off._

_“Ariadne is naïve.”_

_“She believes in you!”_

_At this, the Minotaur grabs hold of Theseus's long hair suddenly, pulling him in close and pressing his teeth lightly to the prince's neck. He does not bite down. But he could. When his point is made, the Minotaur shoves him away._

_“Every waking moment I am consumed by my hunger. There is no life for me outside. Slay me or I shall slay you. It is the only way.”_

_“I...”_

_Does Theseus understand what he is being asked? He has no choice. Until this very moment, there has never been a choice in Theseus's mind anyway, not a single thought spared for the sake of the Minotaur beyond slaying him. But the Minotaur... **Asterius** has a voice, he has thoughts, he has honour and an understanding of humanity!_

_Yet still... he is a beast. With urges he cannot help. Asterius is aware of this and has long since made his choice. The prince cannot sway him with pretty words. He can only grant Asterius the respect that he so deserves._

_“I... shall give you a fight that will satisfy even your hunger!”_

_Theseus leaps forward once more, feeling a renewed strength as he wrestles Asterius. He does not call upon the aid of the gods, but in this moment, he feels such a rush of adrenaline that it is as if Athena herself has granted him a shield to protect him. He will slay Asterius. He will slay the Minotaur. He absolutely will. He will. He will. He will...!  
  
_

* * *

  
**There might have been another way... I gave up on you too swiftly...**  
  


* * *

  
_...In the last moment, Prince Theseus sees himself reflected in Asterius's eyes. He sees acceptance in those eyes, he sees a final peace that Asterius has never been free to know in life. Although perhaps... Theseus is merely projecting for his own sake._

_Asterius's head falls back. There is no longer breath in his lungs. Theseus lets go of his neck. Their battle... is over._

_Theseus finds that his cheeks hurt, stained raw with tears, and yet he doesn't even know when he began to cry. Now that he is done, he allows himself this, his sobs being the only noise in the bloody room that contained their battle. A room that Asterius had been forced to call home until now._

_He stays there, straddled atop Asterius. It must be morning now, yet Theseus cannot bring himself to leave this place.  
  
In time, he slowly reaches a hand up to close Asterius's eyes, granting him dignity in death._

_Theseus pulls himself up from Asterius's body. He had boasted of carrying his body out of the Labyrinth, but now he is here, he can't bring himself to do this. A severed head would be evidence enough, yet even that would feel wrong._

_Instead, Theseus takes the axe from the ground. It lay unused for the entirety of their battle, but it had clearly been Asterius's weapon. Turning it over in his hands, the prince can see that it has been taken care of, for all that Asterius has been able to do so here. He seems... seemed like a good person, who placed value in what little he had. But for the curse of his birth, he had to be contained like this. It isn't fair._

_He places the axe upon Asterius's chest, shifting the Minotaur's hands to lay as if holding it. Asterius looks... like a fallen warrior. Because that is what he is. This is what Asterius deserves. For if any other is to venture this far and find what remains of him, they shall know Asterius is worth remembering._

_The prince will also make sure that Asterius is remembered. He vows that to himself._

_Lingering for a final, long moment in the doorway, Theseus then turns to leave the room, following the trail of yarn that he left for himself.  
  
_

* * *

  
**Should have stayed down there and rotted away with you... There was nothing else for me after you...**  
  


* * *

  
_With thirteen Athenians and his soon-to-be bride, Princess Ariadne, at his side, Prince Theseus sets sail to return home to his father. It is a victory by all means, yet Theseus feels no desire to celebrate. He feels... like a failure..._

_Slaying the Minotaur is his greatest achievement and it will most certainly be seen as such, no matter what else he might go on to achieve in life, and yet it has left Theseus feeling hollow inside. Only by the whims of the Fates is Theseus the hero and Asterius the beast. Should their roles have been swapped, then Theseus would be the one lying dead in the Labyrinth and the prince doubts that he'd take his defeat with as much acceptance and dignity as Asterius did._

_Asterius was the better man. Perhaps even the best man._

_“Your highness, the sail?”_

_“Hmm?”_

_Jolted from his thoughts, Theseus looks up to where one of his men is calling down to him._

_“The sail, your highness.”_

_“Yes? You should hoist it, of course! Surely you do not need me to tell you that. You are the seafarer here!”_

_Whatever the man's hesitation was, he hoists the black sail and Theseus, in his grief, sees no reason to correct him. As they cast off, Theseus can't even meet Ariadne's glance, so intent that she was for news of her brother when Theseus return to her from the Labyrinth. She has her freedom at least, what more could she want?_

_Although, perhaps a slight detour to stop at Naxo on the way home would not be so cruel..._

* * *

“It's **your fault** that her brother died. It's **your fault** that she was abandoned, by your own decision, to be saved only by the mercy of Dionysus.

It's **your fault** your father died. If only you hadn't been so foolishly forgetful and changed the sail, he would never have cast himself over that cliff.

You became king, but at what cost?

A foolish king, crowned in shame and hidden truths.

Do you blame yourself, Theseus? Because everyone else blames you. Especially the Minotaur. He blames you most of all.”

“Blame?”

**Blame...**

**B̞̰͇͇ḻ̘̩̩̘̩a̯̱̳̜m͓͓͔e͓͍.͚̹̠.̼̗͖̙͓.̦ͅ**  
---  
  
**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...This is also the last chapter that will feature flashbacks to Prince Theseus, as we draw closer to the end of the story. From here on out, it'll all be the problems of the present day for the trio to deal with.


	9. god of blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It turns out that throwing fruit at Zagreus isn't the answer to all of life's problems. But luckily for Asterius, the Prince of the Underworld is a good listener.
> 
> Also, Asterius left Theseus alone with Momus and this might not have been his wisest decision.

Asterius is gone...

Theseus's head feels heavy, like a thick fog has settled over his mind and won't let go. Does it even matter any more? Now that the truth has been exposed and Asterius has seen him for what he really is, nothing else is important. There's a nagging in the back of Theseus's mind, telling him that he should be doing something... Something that he promised he'd do... But he just... can't remember what it is. When he delves into his mind, all he can see are these shameful images of his past...

He's dimly aware of someone standing over where he's crouched. The snake-tongued god... Momus. No longer in any sort of disguise.

In his regular form, Momus appears to be little more than a slender man. Theseus could easily overpower him if he wanted. And yet... he can't bring himself to raise a finger. Every time he tries, doubt fills his head. What does it matter? What would be the point? Questions that would never usually even cross Theseus's mind are suddenly the only ones he can conjure up.

Momus grips Theseus's hair, pulling his head up and purring in a layered, intoxicating voice.

“You know, back at the start, I really was just curious about you. Heracles had just retired and, honestly, you heroes kinda just blend into each other after a while, anyway. But then there was you. And you were like a goldmine. So full of doubt and insecurities. No one blamed you more than you blamed yourself. Every single one of your actions was filled with shame and it was like a feast for me. Are you surprised that I couldn't keep away? The Olympians weren't the only gods who took notice of you.”

He roughly trails his thumb down the side of Theseus's face, his own expression forming into a pout.

“...But then you had to go and die. Even that was due to your declining popularity. Fitting, wouldn't you say? That the people would come to hate you as much as you hated yourself. Then you could come fake it here for a while. When Heracles got it into that big meathead of his that he was going to come down here to fight his cousin, I never imagined that I'd see _you_ again. But there you were, still making sure that all eyes were on you, even though you can't stand their judgements. You really are your own worst enemy.”

A pause as Momus shrugs.

“Well, _I'm_ your worst enemy right now. But you get the picture. Everything you do, every thought you think and every ounce of shame that courses through you only makes me stronger. God of Satire and Mockery? Oh yeah, that's the day job. But that's not all I am, king.

I'm also the **God of Blame.**

And no one blames themselves more than you do. Trust me on that.”  
  


* * *

  
Zagreus feels that tingling sensation as the boon is absorbed into him. Hyper Sprint. This will be incredibly useful.

“Thank you, Lord Hermes.”

Now, Zagreus thinks that he has enough that he can return to Theseus and Asterius to resume training. Just as soon as he figures out exactly where he needs to go to find them. To be honest, Zagreus usually just picks doors at random and happens to end up where he needs to go. The underworld shifts constantly, so it would be hard to map it. Although Zagreus assumes not impossible, since the shades all seem to have homes to go to. Maybe it's just like this for Zagreus.

He turns to face the nearest gate, trusting that if he keeps going, he'll get there in the end. But that's when he hears the gate behind him slide open and, in all the times that he's trailed through his father's realm, Zagreus can't recall that ever happening.

Zagreus looks back, but when he sees who's entered behind him, he smiles with relief.

“Asterius! I was just about to come looking for you. This saves me a lot of time. Where's Theseus? Don't tell me he sent you to fetch me while he swans about doing nothing.”

He starts to jog over towards Asterius, but he doesn't get an answer immediately. Instead, Asterius raises his hand and Zagreus sees that he's holding something round and a familiar shade of red.

“A pom of power?”

Asterius throws it at him and when Zagreus jumps up to catch it, he finds that he's correct. He grins across at Asterius.

“Thanks, this will be really helpful. I was half joking when I said you guys should go find some, but I'm glad you did, anyway.”

There's hardly a chance to finish saying this before a second pomegranate is thrown at him. Zagreus barely manages to catch it, only just grabbing the pomegranate at the last moment to stop it from sailing past him.

“Give me a moment! I need to decide which boon to power up with the other one first.”

A third pom is thrown at him. Zagreus somehow catches it between the two he's already holding.

“How many of these do you have?”

Asterius holds out his arms to reveal that he's carrying a small pile of them. Zagreus's eyes light up.

“That's more than I've ever seen at one time. How did you get all of these, Asterius?”

“The same way that you do, short one,” Asterius replies, breaking his silence, “I clear the rooms and am rewarded as such. For myself, there are no gifts provided by the gods, so it is usually either these or coin.”

So Asterius has a smaller pool to draw from? Then it makes sense that he'd find these more easily. Begrudgingly, Zagreus admits to himself that it would also make sense why Theseus would send Asterius to do this instead of going himself, since Theseus is also granted boons by the gods. Assuming that Theseus did send him, since Asterius didn't answer that.

“All right, so don't throw any more poms at me. I need a moment to think about this and decide what will give me the best boost against Heracles. Then we can go find Theseus and get back to training.”

No response. Asterius is quiet anyway, but Zagreus would've expected at least a nod to that. Is something wrong with Asterius? Zagreus tests the waters by continuing to run his mouth.

“Not that we really need his help that much. I'm sure we could get by just fine as just the two of us.”

Still nothing. Zagreus frowns.

“All right, now I _know_ there's something wrong. There's no way you'd let me say something even remotely bad about Theseus without cutting in with a _'do not insult the king, short one, for his wisdom and our bond is beyond your understanding'._ And yes, that is how you talk. Look, by now even I've accepted that I kind of needed his help for this. But that's not the point. What's wrong, Asterius? Did something happen to you two while I was gone?”

For a moment, it seems that Asterius is going to let Zagreus carry on talking, without making any attempt to answer him. But then he steps forward, bringing Zagreus to silence. Asterius puts his hand on Zagreus's shoulder and thus has the prince's attention immediately.

“Asterius?”

“Short one... you are fond of me, aren't you?”

Zagreus snorts; “Fond of you? All my failed attempts to befriend and flirt with you should answer that question. Yes, Asterius, I am terribly fond of you.”

“Why?”

This is not the question that Zagreus expected Asterius to ask. But then, none of this has happened how Zagreus expected and he sees no reason not to answer.

“Well, to start with, you're very attractive; that is probably the first thing anyone would notice about you. But you're also just... cool and strong and silent, but in an honourable way, not in a moody way. Eh, moody's pretty attractive, too. But anyway, you're so... good, Asterius. Without even trying to be. There's a reason you're so beloved around here.”

“And that I am half-beast?”

Zagreus shrugs; “I'm half-god. Not a problem for me.”

To this, Asterius lowers his head fully onto Zagreus's shoulder, letting out a long sigh. He feels so warm and nice... Zagreus presses against him and the next thing he knows, Asterius has wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. Asterius wants to hold him. This is something that Zagreus has fantasised about so many times, but something about it just doesn't feel right.

He could easily just let this happen quietly-

...Actually, no. He's Zagreus. He can't let anything happen quietly.

“Asterius, talk to me.” Zagreus looks up at him in concern; “All jokes aside, I do think of us as friends and if you're hurting, then I want to know why.”

He watches as Asterius's ears flick, seemingly with uncertainty. Then Asterius holds him a little tighter and Zagreus can tell he's getting some form of comfort from it. He doesn't resist, instead waiting for Asterius to speak his mind.

“The king... Theseus, I learned something about him after you left.”

The king. Not “my king”. Already worrying.

“And what might that be? That he's kind of mean to literally everyone who isn't you? Because trust me, that's not something I don't know already.”

But Zagreus can see right away that this doesn't land. It's not the time for jokes.

“This might sound strange to you, short one, but he... finds only interest in beasts,” Asterius carefully replies.

“I'm not sure I understand, Asterius.”

It seems that Asterius can't look at him now.

“That is why he finds me so appealing. Because I am the Bull of Minos. Half a beast.”

“Still lost. You're the Minotaur and he loves you. So yes, he loves the Bull of Minos. I'd say that's pretty obvious.”

“You do not see what I mean. He only likes me because I am not human. The scrawny god showed us-”

“-Wait, Momus? Aren't you the one who told us not to get tricked by his words?”

“It was not only words, short one. He showed us visions of the past, in which Theseus lay with many different half-beasts. My- ...Theseus admitted that they were the truth.”

This is a lot to unpack. So, Momus has some kind of... magical projection powers and he, for whatever reason, showed Theseus and Asterius times that Theseus has laid with “many” half-beasts, which Theseus admits is true. There is a small part of Zagreus that he knows he should ignore that can't help feeling slightly disappointed that he missed seeing that, if only because Zagreus has a lot of questions about sleeping with a lot of different beings, which may well have been answered if he'd got to watch Theseus getting it on with them.

But more so because, had Zagreus been there, he'd have been able to point out how ridiculous Momus's accusations are. Perhaps that's why Momus waited until he wasn't around.

Zagreus reaches up, taking hold of Asterius's face and moving it so they're facing each other.

“All right, so I can believe it that he has a particular interest in those who aren't completely human, if both of us are anything to go by. But that's far from _all_ he feels about you. And I'm not just saying that. Asterius, the first thing the man did after dying was march into my father's halls and demand that you join him in Elysium. No one else has ever done that before and even less than no one could get away with it, I'd wager. Only Theseus and only for you.”

Asterius is silent, but Zagreus can tell that he's getting through to him, so he carries on.

“Blood and darkness, if I had some sort of magic replay the past powers, I'd show you all of the times I've come to challenge the two of you and most of what comes out of Theseus's mouth is about how wonderful you are! Things are confusing right now and there's a lot that I'm trying to figure out myself, but the one thing that I know for sure and have never doubted is how Theseus feels about you. The way you looked at each other last night, you were both so relieved it was finally out in the open. You must know that you want to be together.”

“I do know...” Asterius mumbles.

“So then, why would you believe what Momus says? Yes, there is a chance that his initial interest stems from “Ooh, hot bull-man”, but it's clearly grown into something else by now.”

“When we... first met, he showed me honour and mercy. None have done that before. I believed him to be a good person in those final moments before I slipped away. Then he proved that to me again when he came for me in death. You are right, short one... his feelings are true.”

Zagreus nods; “From all of my incredibly specific involvement with him, I'd say he's a pompous ass, but he does seem to be a good person, as much as I hate to admit that. And yes, he does love you very much.”

“Then I am a fool for having doubted him...”

“All the more reason to find him and make it up. ...Hey wait, did I just talk you out of your doubts? That means I'm suddenly the most mature person in this... whatever this is,” Zagreus says, a little too gleefully for someone claiming to be so mature.

Asterius reaches down, nuzzling his face against Zagreus's fondly. That feels pretty nice...!

“Thank you, short one. Zagreus.”

_“Heey!_ You said my name! Reckon you could teach it to Theseus, too?”

Another one of those snorts that may well be a laugh.

“He knows it already.”

“Could've fooled me. Anyway, where did you leave him? Probably a good idea to find him and clear all this up before he starts sobbing in front of that giant portrait of you guys in his bedroom.”

There is a long pause that Zagreus doesn't like as Asterius realises something.

“...He is still with the scrawny god. At least, that's where I left him.”

Zagreus shrugs; “Momus doesn't seem all that dangerous. We'll just hurry back to whe-”

Before Zagreus can finish, the atmosphere in the whole area changes. The lush, pleasant afternoon of typical Elysium wonders suddenly becomes stormy and overcast, with heavy, grey clouds swirling in the centre. Asterius lets go of Zagreus, so they can both ready their weapons, staring down the imposing cloud.

It clears and with it emerges the giant form of Heracles, stepping out to look down at them both.

“Heracles? Honestly, I'd sort of forgotten about you with everything else that's been going on,” Zagreus admits.

This is not what Heracles wanted to hear. Clearly. His smug face becomes sour as he stares Zagreus down.

“Glad to hear that my generosity means so little to you, cousin,” Heracles sneers, obviously not actually glad, “Probably good timing that I've come to tell you that I'm done.”

“So, you don't want a rematch?”

At this stage, Zagreus would be almost glad, if only to get Heracles and Momus out of here sooner. Zagreus would've liked the second chance to put what he's learned to the test and defeat Heracles in combat, but it isn't worth what Momus has put them through or all the risk that Heracles placed the crowd under during this first match.

“No, I'm getting a rematch. I'm just done with waiting,” Heracles clarifies, “The shades around here are so dull, just talking about the glory days and fawning after me. I can get that from anyone back home. You've had enough time to train already.”

“There's no concept of time here, but if there was, I'd guess that you've barely even given me a full day,” Zagreus points out.

“The short one is right. To go back on your word would be dishonourable. He deserves all the time that he needs to train,” Asterius agrees.

“As if I care what the Bull of Minos thinks,” Heracles dismisses, “If you're not good enough to face me, cousin, then just say so.”

“And if I did, then you'd leave?”

“Not until I've had my satisfaction. I'm going to that coliseum and I'm going to fight whoever I find there until I've had my fill. If not you, then it will be someone.”

“But there's no one there! Who do you plan to fight, the coliseum itself?”

Probably shouldn't give him any ideas. But it turns out that Heracles has other ideas, regardless.

“Oh, there's already plenty of shades there,” he claims, “Do you think I'd come to fetch you without telling all my fellow warriors that the battle was soon to begin? And they'll bring with them an audience of shades.”

Zagreus shakes his head fearfully; “No shade would come after what you did to them last time!”

“Sounds like you don't know mortals as well as you think you do. They'll come. They just can't help themselves. You don't have to believe me, but would you risk not turning up just to prove that you're right? Also, yeah, I think I will start smashing up the coliseum if there's no one. I've heard you like to make a mess of your dad's realm, cousin. But I promise you that with my size and this club, I can wreck more than you ever could.”

With that, the clouds swirl around him again, crackling with lightning as Heracles disappears into them and vanishes. At this point, Zagreus is well past questioning what gods can do. For all he knows, Heracles is getting lifts from Zeus.

Besides, they have a much more pressing matter to attend to right now. Zagreus nods to Asterius, but neither of them need to be told twice before they start to move.

“We have to get to the coliseum before he does!” Zagreus says, dashing up to the nearest gate and waiting for it to open, “But we need to find Theseus as well. Should we split up?”

“No, Elysium will lead us where we need to go,” assures Asterius, “We shall move together to clear the rooms faster. If we have not found our king by the time we reach the coliseum, then we can part ways.”

“I think you mean _your_ king, Asterius.”

“I know what I said.”

“Still Prince of the Underworld here, but okay.”

All quips aside, the pressure is on. Perhaps the shades won't truly die, but Zagreus still doesn't want to see them harmed and definitely not because of him. If anything, he resents recklessly challenging Heracles in the first place, but then, he now intends to break the debt that ties Theseus to Heracles if he does. Gaah, could've mentioned that back there! Save it for the coliseum. Not that Heracles has been at all reasonable so far.

The gate slides shut behind them and they're in the next room. Let's see how fast Zagreus can clear out Soul Catchers with all these speed boosts he's gotten from Hermes.

...Blast! He still hasn't absorbed those poms, either. Blood and darkness.  
  


* * *

  
An intense purple light flickers all around them now, stinging when it comes in contact with Theseus's skin. His thoughts still feel dulled. There's a voice deep down inside, fighting to break out, demanding that he fight back against Momus or at least do _something_ to stop Momus's incessant yapping, but Theseus can't bring himself to listen to it. He can barely even lift his head.

By contrast, Momus is elated, his tired eyes lighting up as the lightning dances across his hands. He's not affected by it in the slightest. In fact, he revels in it.

“To think that I could get so much from one single shade. You really are something else, King of Athens.”

All of this... is from Theseus?

His self-loathing is so extreme that the God of Blame has used it to power himself up this much?

Finally, after too long in silence, Theseus finds his voice.

“What... do you... intend to do...?”

Momus taps the side of his face, his tone almost sing-song as he mulls this over aloud.

“You know, I haven't actually got that far. It's not as if I had any grand plans or anything. Hell, I didn't even intend to meet you until I got here, I just couldn't let Heracles come down to the underworld without at least seeing what was going on down here. But _wow,_ this is such a _boost!_ I'm not fool enough to try anything that might upset Hades or, ugh, _Mom,_ but they clearly don't care too much about the havoc we cause in Elysium, judging from that last match and all the destruction Little Zagreus usually causes.”

He reaches forward, poking Theseus's forehead.

“Maybe I'll just run riot until I drain this energy out. Would you let me come back for a refill later?”

This snake-tongued god... He intends to harm Elsyium! Asterius... All of those innocent shades... The blackguard... They're all here. They're all at risk.

Theseus manages to pull himself up onto his feet, the force of Momus's power still weighing down on him like blocks of stone. But he won't let that hold him back. He grips his spear tightly, taking a low swing at Momus.

It isn't enough.

Momus effortlessly jumps backwards to dodge the spear, laughing at he does.

“Oh, you really think you can stop me? Everyone here hates you anyway, king, so why are you even trying?”

“I care not about that compared to their safety!”

As Theseus yells, for a brief moment, he feels as if he might break through the barrier of whatever Momus is casting over him. Yet it seems that Momus notices this as well and the next thing Theseus knows, he's being struck by the purple lightning again, which knocks him back to the ground.

Get up. Get up. He has to get up. Defend Elysium or die trying. H-he'll just respawn if he dies... But by that time, Momus may have run rampage with this power that Theseus has given him.

Theseus pulls himself to his feet once more and, when he looks across at Momus, he sees that the snake-tongue has changed. The mask from his shoulder is once again covering his face, transforming him into the beast from before. Only this time, it's much taller, much stronger, with horns jutting out from strange angles along his arms and legs.

“Think you can fight me? Or are you _into this?”_

Momus lowers his head his head to charge, but then a deep, familiar voice calls out, stopping him in his tracks.

_“Theseus!”_

It's... Asterius. And the blackguard, too!

Theseus turns his head at the same time as Momus does, both of them seeing where Asterius and Zagreus have come in through one of the gates. The instant Zagreus sees what's going on, he raises his own spear and charges at the wall of purple lightning.

But it's too much. Even for him. Zagreus falls back, swiftly recovering to try again, only for the same thing to happen. At this point, Asterius joins him, swinging at the force with his mighty axe. But it does nothing. Nothing except make Momus howl with laughter.

“Looks like even the two of you can't stop me! I'm surprised to see you back at all, Minotaur. Didn't you finally realise that you're nothing but some weird sexual gratification to this guy?”

He motions back towards Theseus and at this, Asterius looks to him. Even from this distance, Theseus can see that there's no blame in his face.

“King... I was wrong to doubt your feelings. The short one made me see sense. I know that... you love me as I love you.”

“Asterius...”

Theseus is... loved.

Zagreus calls out now, still attempting to dash the wall of lightning; “Yeah, you can thank me for that later. But let's stop Momus quickly! I need to get to the coliseum before Heracles destroys that as well!”  
  


“͚̻̘͕͓̗̔̄͐̉̌̂H̘͓̲-̖͑̀̎ͪ͆h̓̌̇̍̉e̤̹̞̭͙̳͊̿ͩͪ̍r̤͈͚̥̟ͯ̂̓͑a͎ͣ̿c͍̙̲͑͛̈́ͬ̅ͨl̩̳̪̺̋̍̈́̇e̪͛͋̔s͈̘ͩ̈̾̈́̏͗ͪ.̭̳̭̬̹̊ͧ̎͗͐.̫́.͂̋̇͂̊͂͌!̮̠̯͕͎̙̦̈́ ̪͙̜̹͓̜̮̓̈ͫ H̟ͥͯ̊ͭͥ̾ë̻̺̯́͌ͨ'̣̩̜̱ͅs̰̬͚̝͎͉ͯ̃͑ͅ ̯̠̪̅ͣͅḫ̰̣̩̺ͧ͑̉̇͑̀͐e̬͍͓͇̳̫ṟ̲͈̇ͤě͍̦͚?̦̝̟̱̄͑”͔͙̗̥̟͙̇ͮ  
---  
  
  
That's when Theseus sees it. For the briefest of moments, the illusion keeping Momus as a beast falters and there's a genuine look of fear in his eyes. Momus recovers just as quickly when he sees that Heracles is not actually here, sending another blast of lightning to knock Zagreus and Asterius backwards. But Theseus has seen him now.

Momus cares about what Heracles thinks of him. Momus has insecurities of his own. With this knowledge alone, Theseus suddenly realises that he can fight him.

But first, there are others who need to be protected. He holds his hand up to call out to where Zagreus is relentlessly trying to get through.

“Blackguard! Stop this! If the coliseum is in danger, then that is where you need to be!”

“I'm not going to leave you like this!”

Zagreus shakes his head. As stubborn as ever. Yet Theseus knows this stubbornness from himself. Thus, he knows that the blackguard will do what's right when push comes to shove.

“I have this fight won! I think I've found his weak spot, but the shades at the coliseum have no one to defend them. You'll only wear yourself down if you keep this up!””

At hearing this, Momus charges for Theseus, knocking him off his feet.

“I have **no weak spot!** Not like this!”

But Theseus isn't listening to Momus. He gets up once more. Nothing can keep him down now. When he turns to look back at the other two, he can see that Zagreus has at least stopped trying to get through the lightning, but he looks as conflicted as ever.

“We are warriors, are we not? At least have faith that I can defeat such a pathetic god as this one!” Theseus calls.

Zagreus's face is set in a frown, but he accepts what he needs to do.

“All right. I'll beat Heracles, break your pact to him and then there better be enough of you left afterwards to make this worth it, king!”

Hah. It is tough love with this one.

“I'll do my best! Asterius?” Theseus looks to his dearest companion, knowing that Asterius won't like what's coming next, “You are to go with the hellspawn to the coliseum.”

“King, I won't-”

Momus charges Theseus again, only this time, Theseus actually manages to evade him, letting Momus crash into the trees. Theseus is regaining some of his strength again and Momus is losing control. But he can't risk these two getting hurt if that theory of his is wrong.

“You will!” Theseus commands, hating that he has to command Asterius at all, “I am the only one at risk here. But at the coliseum, there will be many! You need to see them to safety while the blackguard fights his worthless cousin.”

“Theseus... My king...”

But Asterius is not as stubborn as Zagreus. He'll know that Theseus is right in this. Hoping to put his worries at ease, Theseus stands tall, wiping some blood off his face as he smiles back at them both.

“Believe in me that I can fix the damage that I've done!”

Asterius nods. Acceptance. As if there was ever any doubt.

“I do believe, my king.”

Zagreus is a little testier, but Theseus can see now that his nerves come from concern.

“Just... don't let him win, king!”

They know now what they have to do. There's a gate at the other side of the room and, through that, it is but a short distance to the coliseum, where Heracles awaits. The lightning wall is still blocking the two of them from getting close to Theseus and Momus, but if Theseus can keep Momus distracted, then they'll be able to pass by and leave through the gate unharmed.

When Momus picks himself up from the trees to charge once more, this time, Theseus grabs him by his eye-covered horns and digs his feet into the ground to push back against him, pressing in close to hiss;

“So, Heracles is really worth all of this to you?”

That does the trick. Momus lets out a bellow that echoes up into the sky, raining lightning down from above. The ground is scorched, but Theseus has done what he needed to do. In the chaos, he sees Zagreus and Asterius slip through the gate on the other side, both only pausing to look back for but a moment, before they're gone.

Stopping Heracles will be a feat in itself, but Theseus trusts them as much as they trust him. He _will_ put a stop to this monster. He absolutely will or else he isn't Theseus, King of Athen.


	10. [persona 4 - reach out to the truth lyrics]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Zagreus vs. Heracles and Theseus vs. Momus, with the stakes becoming incredibly personal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You really can just stick whatever you want in that title box, can't you?
> 
> Also, since he's not been able to go back to the house to change it, Zagreus has been using his spear this entire time. As someone who's admittedly not great at this game and can only get by using the spear or Excalibur, you _can_ consider this fic Varatha propaganda if you want to lol

When they reach the coliseum, Zagreus realises that Heracles wasn't joking in his claims to lay it to ruin should Zagreus be late. One of the centre columns is already lying smashed upon the sandy ground. All Zagreus can hope is that there weren't any shades watching from on top of it.

Because there certainly is a large crowd of shades. Heracles was right about that, too. Why would they come here, knowing what happened last time? Yes, Heracles and Zagreus fighting is a rarity, but is it really that much of a spectacle to risk themselves? Zagreus hates to admit it, but there probably is still more that he needs to learn about mortals in this regard, especially the war-hungry warriors of Elysium.

Yet there isn't any time to waste. Zagreus turns to look up at Asterius.

“I'll confront him if you clear out the stands.”

Asterius places a firm hand on his shoulder, squeezing it for but a moment, before letting go.

“Right. And short one? Good luck. Although you won't need it.”

“Thanks, Asterius.” Despite their situation, Zagreus finds his cheeks colouring ever so slightly at the compliment.

That all changes the moment they part and Zagreus heads across the coliseum to confront Heracles, however. The whole atmosphere is the worst that Zagreus has ever seen it here in Elysium. The sky above them rumbles with heavy, swirling clouds, as Zagreus can only assume they're being more intently watched by Zeus than any of his previous battles have been. Heracles is Zeus's son, after all. Meanwhile, the shades above them in the stands call out in a desperate, yet uncertain way. Zagreus hopes that Asterius won't have too much trouble reasoning with them. When he risks a fearful glance towards where his single fan usually stands, Zagreus is relieved to not see the familiar orange against the green, although the small banner dedicated to Zagreus remains as proud as ever. He's glad that they didn't put themselves at risk.

Then there's Heracles. Up until Zagreus is standing at his feet, he looks like he's sizing up the next centre column to knock down, only stopping when Zagreus calls up to him.

“I came like you asked! We'll have our fight.”

Heracles lowers his club, smiling down at Zagreus; “You took so long that I almost thought you weren't coming.”

“I got held up by your friend, but I'm here now.” 

Zagreus wonders if Heracles would care if he told him about Momus, but he can't be sure that the two of them aren't working together in all this. Besides, Heracles, as hungry for battle that he is, doesn't even acknowledge Zagreus bringing him up.

“A coward's excuse. Are you ready to fight?” Heracles boasts.

He should be. But Zagreus has his one condition.

“Heracles, before we fight, I want to make a wager with you.”

“A wager? Go on, I'm listening.”

“If I win, you'll consider King Theseus's debt to you as settled.”

“His debt?” Heracles stops to think about that for a moment; “Oh yeah, for breaking him out of this place the first time, right? I'd forgotten all about that.”

It annoys Zagreus that something that's hung over Theseus's head and affected him so much would be so trivial to Heracles. Even so, he insists.

“That's my term to fight you.”

“Well, I don't see why you'd care so much about someone who's supposed to be your enemy, but I'm not a man to back down from a wager,” Heracles agrees, “However, what do I get if I win? ...Actually, don't answer that. I've got it.” He leans down ever so slightly towards Zagreus, looking as smug as ever; “If I win, then his debt will be traded with you. You'll be the one bound to me by oath. Trust me, I won't forget about _you.”_

This is clearly intended to make Zagreus back down, but the words hardly finish coming out of Heracles's mouth before Zagreus gives his answer.

“I accept!”

...Theseus won't like Zagreus going ahead with this on his behalf, but he's not here to object. Besides, this way, even if Zagreus loses, Theseus will still be freed from Heracles. It's a win-win. Even if... losing will mean that Zagreus is bound to the whims of his incredibly unreasonable cousin. So not exactly a win-win, but close enough.

“Hah! More fool you!” Heracles laughs, “But whatever. Let's finally get this party started.”

Zagreus draws Varatha, lowering himself into a fighting stance.

“I couldn't agree more...”  
  


* * *

  
**“Where are they?** You let them go, _didn't you!”_

The hulking, beast-like figure of Momus storms along the edges of the room, smashing rocks and pillars as he goes. The pillars reform soon after, as they always do, but Momus doesn't even notice. He has, however, noticed the lack of Asterius and Zagreus.

Theseus regards him. He's still beaten and bloody from Momus's blows, but he realises that he doesn't feel even a fraction as drained as he did before the battle started. Momus draws his power from Theseus's blame. His self-doubt. As long as Theseus is able to keep that in check, Momus won't have the same advantage over him that he did before.

Besides, there are two who believe in Theseus now. He won't let them down.

“It would appear that they slipped away during your outrage. A very poor show on your part to not keep your opponent in check!” Theseus taunts, “When I have the blackguard trained in my sights, my eyes never leave him!”

Momus turns back to Theseus, taking a swing at him with his huge, horned head. Theseus holds up his shield to block it, but Momus keeps boring down on him.

“Gods, you never _shut up!_ All you heroes are braggarts, but none of them come even as close to being as annoying as you are!”

Might as well seize the easy-opening that Momus has given him with that one. Theseus curves his hold on his shield, sliding it around the side of Momus's face, so he can jump free of him on the other side. Once he's out, Theseus against turns back to taunt him further, with a more specific intent this time.

“Plainly you do not find _Heracles_ as annoying as me! Your feelings are worn on your face for all to see, snake-tongue!”  
  


“̗̠̊̈̂͒̾̆S͕ͬ̄̐ͧͭͅh͓̅ŭ̦̓̐ͬ̊țͥͅͅ ͊͗͒̑̇̑͊u̫͛ͦ̐p̟͖ͦ̍ͩ̅!͉̋”̱͎̗̦̘̽͒̽̓͑͗ͨ  
---  
  
  
That worked.

Momus attempts to charge him again, but this time, Theseus is able to repel him with a swipe from his spear. Momus is weaker than before! Theseus is right with what he suspects and he doesn't plan on stopping now. As the two of them clash back and forth, he continues to run his mouth, so that he might rile Momus further.

“You know, perhaps I am a fool that I didn't notice it sooner. When you showed me that shameful display from the time we first met, even back then, Heracles's name was quick to leave your lips. There is scarcely a time that you haven't brought him up.”

“Because he's over-glorified! Overblown! Overhyped! Overrated! _Just! Like! **Youuu!”**_

Each word is emphasised with a strike that Theseus blocks.

“He's supposedly the greatest hero who ever lived, is he not?” Theseus carries on, “His exploits are oft told in Elysium. His many lovers are spoken of at length. But funny, I don't recall _your_ name ever mentioned alongside his!”

Another crack in the armour. Before Theseus's very eyes, some of the extra horns decorating Momus's limbs start to shrink away. But Momus's anger only grows.

“I don't want to be part of his stories!” Momus roars, “He retired! He's been safely up on Olympus for years! There, I can keep him for myself without worrying about him swanning off like he used to.” Another strike. Another miss. “Then he gets it in his head that he's going to come down here! Megaera the Fury is down here! _You're_ down here!”

“Wait... me?” Theseus can't stop himself from raising an eyebrow at that, “All of this is because you're threatened by me?”

“He lay with you!”

That's it? That's what this is all about? Despite being beaten to the point of near-death, Theseus finds himself giving a small, genuine laugh.

“And he was _terrible!_ I have thought naught of him since that day. Nay, all of the many half-beasts I've laid with are vastly superior to him in every way. You might want to raise your standards, snake-tongue!”

Momus brings his head down, smashing it close to Theseus again. He really has fallen back on just this single trick, so riled that he is by Theseus's words. Theseus pushes forward, sliding his spear behind the horns on Momus's head to keep him in place and pulling him forward.  
  


“Let me go! You're wrong! You're wrong! _Ẅ̻͚̲́ͦ̌̚ͅr͙̗̩̘̝õ̜͈͉̖͙ͅṋ̳͎͍g̞̜̟̳̬͍̊ͅ!̬͎̠̟̳ͭ͛ ̪̥̝͌̇̽ͥ **W͇̘r͉̺͋o͓͇̣̯̺ͥ̐͂͛ͥn̹̜͍̥͇͕̭̔̃͊g̙͇̏!͇̙̥͛ͬ̀̀”̱̳͔̣̪͙̱ͩ̇̎͊**_

  
“Trust me, I'm right. But that matters not, because he means something to _you,_ doesn't he?” Theseus grins, pressing in close, “You'll _never_ be good enough for him. You lie awake at night thinking about how pathetic you are for pining for someone so much grander than an insignificant worm like you. Would that he even look twice at someone like you? So you grow bitter and jealous and use every means at your disposal to hide how small and insecure you truly are! Make it seem like you don't care, when actually you care too much!”

Momus screeches, trying to pull back, but unable to break free of the spear keeping his horns in place.

“Like you can talk! You're the most insecure person who ever lived! Just look at all the power I've drained from you!”

“Yes, you're right.” Theseus can see himself, clearer than he ever has done; “Why else do you think I can see you as you are, when no one else can? It's like looking in a much-less-attractive mirror!”

He pulls his spear down until black blood begins to spurt out of Momus's neck.

“But you know, wretched worm, that power you've been draining from me? From where I'm standing, it looks like it isn't giving you the boost that it was!”

_“Wh-what...?”_

Momus's eyes widen. But it's too late. Theseus drives the spear down through his neck. Oozing black flies everywhere. Momus's head hits the ground with a thud.

...Butterflies... Then the body vanishes.

Theseus has won.  
  


* * *

  
Down below, Zagreus and Heracles clash, wasting no time in laying into each other in their combat. If the circumstances hadn't been so dire, Asterius would be watching, supporting the short one as he defends against Heracles using the methods that they taught him. But it's too dangerous for any to be here, lest Heracles use the audience to gain an advantage, as he did before.

So Asterius has made his way up into the stands, ushering the shades to leave from watching a match that they so keenly want to see. This should be a difficult task, yet Asterius finds that when he asks... they listen.

“You all must leave,” he calls, amidst a crowd of shades, “It is too dangerous to stay here.”

“Hey, it's Asterius!”

“Great to see you, Asterius!”

“Is it really as bad as all that?”

“Oh, well, if _Asterius_ says so, then it must be.”

They... listen to him? Asterius has all this reasoning and arguments prepared in his head that he may not actually need. The shades of Elysium... they respect him. He is one of their champions, so perhaps he should not be surprised, yet the Bull of Minos has never assumed that his word would ever be held in high regard. Theseus is usually the one that does the talking. There is good reason for that. Theseus is the king, whereas Asterius is just the Minotaur.

But it turns out, the people respect the Minotaur as much as the king.

“Yes, it is too dangerous. You must move,” he insists, “Tell as many others as you can and hurry out before it's too late.”

There is some disappointment at missing the battle for sure, but they still all listen to Asterius. As he heads back, moving towards the opposite side of the coliseum, he sees that other shades are even helping to usher out their fellows, standing at each exit. He catches sight of a speck of orange at one door, waving shades through and out of the coliseum. Zagreus's fan. They smile across at him and Asterius nods in return.

They will be safe. They'll all be safe. Asterius will ensure it.  
  


* * *

  
A long yawn.

It's always a slow day when the prince isn't around; his frequent deaths are usually enough to add a bit of spice to even the dullest list. But he's up there in Elysium fighting his cousin, isn't he? The last time that he died, his soul got redirected to come out the pool in Elysium, too. Hypnos can't help feeling kind of ripped off by that.

He glances lazily at where both the king and queen are bent down next to Cerberus, making sure that the hell-hound is comfortable and has plenty of treats to get him over his upset from before. Persephone and Hades really do love that dog, don't they? It's no wonder that Hades hurried back here after seeing his brother off, even if he did kind of leave his son up in Elysium to fend for himself.

Eh, Zag's tough, he can handle it.

Besides, it's no wonder Cerberus is upset when faced with Heracles again, considering what happened last time Heracles was down here. _Everyone_ knows that story. Wait... does Zagreus know that story? Oh well, it's not important now.

As Hypnos mulls this over, suddenly the Styx starts to bubble as someone new appears. Is it Zagreus? No, the hair is black, but it's curly instead of spiky. Wait... is that...

“Momus? Is that you? _...Huh,_ it is you!”

Hypnos's least-favourite brother. That's definitely someone he never expected to see appear here. But as Momus sits coughing up water from the Styx, there's no denying he's died somehow. This oughta be good! Hypnos runs his finger down the ledger until he finds Momus's name.

“So, it says here that you got _brutally_ decapitated by King Theseus. Huh, how about that? You know, there's lots of ways you can avoid having your head chopped off, brother. To start with, have you tried not being so slimy and hostile towards everyone you meet? That would be a good place to start, I think.”

If looks could kill, then Hypnos would be the one rising out of the Styx right now. But it's not as if Momus can do anything to him while Lord Hades is standing right there. Meaning that Momus just has to stew in his humiliating defeat.

Definitely worth it.  
  


* * *

  
Perhaps it's left his offence a bit lacking, but it was definitely worth throwing so many of those pomegranates Asterius gave him into the Bronze Skin he got from Athena. This way, Zagreus isn't being one-hit KO'd every time Heracles so much as gets a hit in on him. Not that he's hitting Zagreus so often, with all those speed boosts from Hermes.

This is frustrating Heracles terribly. Zagreus isn't winning by any means, but the fight isn't as one-sided as it was last time and Heracles doesn't seem to be used to fighting someone even close to being on equal footing to him. For the bully that he is, Zagreus assumes that he targets the weak.

Zagreus isn't weak. But the shades are.

Remembering his tactic from last time, Heracles draws his club back and heads for the walls, driving it deep inside the stone and pulling it along the whole length of one side, as he did before.

Only this time, no shades fall. The stands are empty. Asterius has been successful in clearing them out. So quickly, as well.

Zagreus takes a moment to find his footing as Heracles stops in his tracks, confused by the lack of carnage.

“Why aren't they watching me!”

“Looks like they respect the bull-man more than they care about your battle,” Zagreus calls, “Maybe you shouldn't have been so quick and vocal with getting bored of your old warrior buddies.”

Heracles smashes his club into the ruined wall once more, causing more of it to crumble. It's going to take so much time and resources to fix this coliseum once the battle is over, but no one's gotten harmed and that's the most important part. Well, no one except Zagreus. But he can handle it.

He raises his hand to the stormy sky as Heracles turns back from his little tantrum.

“Zeus!”

The sky rumbles. But nothing comes. Zeus leaves Zagreus's call unanswered.

“...Well, all right. Should've seen that coming.”

That's karma, Zagreus supposes. More so when Heracles catches on and decides to throw it right back at him, holding his club aloft.

“Father! Aid me in my time of need!”

Now, the sky rumbles and opens, lightning bursting out from above to surround Heracles's club, blessing it with a shocking power. Literally. Heracles takes a swipe at Zagreus and even without being directly hit by the club, lightning bursts out and knocks him back against the crumbling remains of the wall behind him.

“Not done...!”

Zagreus picks himself up from the wall. As his vision comes back into focus, he can just make out Asterius watching him from the edge of the coliseum, with a familiar orange shade at his side. Huh, so his fan did come after all. Even so, Zagreus is glad they weren't up in the stands.

He turns back to Heracles, spear gripped tightly. Wear him out. Use his size against him. Then Zagreus will have this.  
  


* * *

  
Surely it can't be too late already!

As Theseus reaches the outskirts of the coliseum, he sees a large crowd of shades mulling around, each trying to look inside through the gates, but none of them going in. A terrible thunderstorm rages above, lightning striking inside the coliseum frequently. At least, what's left of the coliseum, anyway.

“Blackguard... I trust you're holding your own.”

Theseus makes his way through the crowd, which parts for him as he passes. Although many of the shades look questioningly at the sorry state that the king is in right now, still bloody and bruised from his own battle against Momus. He cares not.

“What's happening in there?” he asks to a shade who looks for a little too long.

“Heracles and that daemon prince are battling; haven't you heard?” the shade answers, “But Lord Asterius told us it was too dangerous to watch, so we came outside.”

So Asterius was successful, just as Theseus knew that he would be. There's an edge of hope to the shade's tone, clearly they want to be told that it's safe to go back inside. But Theseus is going to have to leave them disappointed. It matters not in comparison to their safety.

“Asterius was right. As your king and champion, I implore you to wait until the battle is over and it's safe to enter once more. The daemon will slay Heracles, there's no need to doubt that!”

“Wait... shouldn't you be rooting for Heracles?”

Not giving the shade an answer, Theseus pushes past. He makes it all the way to the entrance without being interrupted. When he gets through the gate, greeting him on the other side is Asterius and that orange shade who has awful taste.

Although, Theseus supposes that he's now joined that shade in having awful taste. Perhaps he has all along.

“Asterius! You did it, my friend!”

Theseus almost falls against Asterius, the injuries from the battle having hit him harder than he realised. But he won't let them hold him back. He needs to be here. Concern practically radiates from Asterius as he puts his arm around Theseus to support him, but along with that feeling is relief.

“My king! You made it. You defeated the scrawny god.” Asterius leans down to nuzzle at Theseus's head.

Theseus scoffs; “As if there was ever any doubt! Such a feeble god was nary even a challenge for one such as myself.” He claims this, despite the rough state that he's in; “But never mind that for now. How is the hellspawn holding up?”

“See for yourself. He has taken all that he's learned in such a short time and then some.” 

Asterius nods ahead to where Zagreus bursts out from the base of one of the smashed pillars, striking Heracles from behind with Varatha, before darting away again. Heracles growls in frustration, swiping with his club but missing by a large margin.

Theseus smiles.

“That is just like him. Improving too swiftly for his opponent to counter. It is, honestly, infuriating. He is so infuriating.”

With that, Theseus cups his hands together and shouts over.

“Blackguard! Don't you dare show us up by losing! You can fell this halfwit, _Zagreus!”  
  
_

* * *

  
Wait... is that Theseus?

Did Theseus just say his name?

He turns his head to look to where Asterius is standing and, sure enough, Theseus is now propped against him, looking worse for the wear from his own battle, but still standing and still here. Cheering Zagreus on. Now all that's left is for Zagreus to win his own battle.

In the moment that he's distracted, Heracles strikes. But Zagreus isn't that dumb. He's dealt with enough underhanded tactics to guess when one's coming, especially from someone as transparent as Heracles. He reaches back and grips the club, ignoring the sting of the lightning jolts that surge through him as he uses it to launch himself up into the air.

Heracles attempts to dislodge him, but that only gives Zagreus more height.

He's... up above the coliseum now. Zagreus has never been so high before! He can see the green masses of the shades crowding around outside and even the lush meadows and swirling clouds of the Lethe for miles around. Elysium is... beautiful. Zagreus wants to protect it.

This moment seems to last forever, time slowing down as Zagreus reaches the full height that he's been tossed to.

But just as suddenly, time returns.

Zagreus turns in the air to look down at Heracles, who's watching him, dumbfounded. From this angle, Heracles is vulnerable. He doesn't expect anyone to be bigger than him, after all. So many options flash through Zagreus's mind. But then he catches sight of Theseus watching him and decides that, since he has the chance, he might as well be a bit cheeky about this.

He calls forth his bloodstones, casting all three of them as the saw blades of Ares. They pick up speed quickly from this height, cutting down into Heracles before he has a chance to react.

_Crrr-_

_Crrr-_

_Crrrrr- **...swsh!**_

Oh, that is brutal! Heracles staggers and clutches his head for the moment, before exploding into excessive red blood as the Styx reaches up to take him, just like it would Zagreus. Looks like bleeding red is a half-mortal thing, after all.

Which is perhaps a strange observation to make, but as Zagreus lands himself, he realises that his head is all over the place.

Although his head is not, as he'd expect, splattered all over the ground.

He feels a comfortingly soft fur and, when he opens his eyes, he realises that he's been caught by Asterius, who rushed out into the coliseum as Zagreus fell. He's not the only one, either. As Asterius sets Zagreus down, Theseus comes to his side, helping Asterius support Zagreus, despite barely being able to stand himself.

There's so much that Zagreus wants to say in this moment. He wants to brag about how he won the battle using the method that Theseus specifically told him not to use, he wants to let Theseus know that he's now free from his ties to Heracles, he wants to check that all of the shades are safe, to thank Asterius for catching him and to find out what became of Momus. There's just so much.

But for now, Zagreus settles on;

“...You look _terrible,_ king.”

Theseus pulls Zagreus close, pressing their foreheads together and letting out a long sigh of relief.

“And you look _so much worse,_ Zagreus.”

Hey, there it is again! Zagreus opens his mouth to make a big deal out of Theseus finally calling him by name. But before he can get a word in, Theseus breaks away from his forehead, instead, grabbing Zagreus by his chiton and pulling him forward to kiss him deeply. Oh, _wow...!_

...Eh, just this once, Zagreus might hold off on getting the last word in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only have one more chapter to write and then, hopefully, I'll manage to complete my goal of having this whole fic finished and posted in three weeks. Wish me luck!


	11. no regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heracles is sent back down the Styx not long after Momus and, with the threat to Elysium finally dealt with, Theseus, Asterius and Zagreus can afford to relax and perhaps even talk about Feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting so patiently for the last chapter. I didn't quite manage to get it finished before my holiday ended and I returned to work, so it just took a little longer to get out than the others. But on the bright side, I did manage to get this entire fic written in a single month and I'm impressed with that.

Momus sits cross-legged by the edge of the Styx, scrubbing his head with one of the towels so harshly that it almost feels raw, but he needs an excuse not to look at his goody-goody brother, Hypnos, who's cheerfully informed him that Zagreus is the one who paid for these towels to be here. Whatever, Momus is still going to use them. Besides, Heracles should be knocking that so-called Prince of the Underworld halfway across Elysium by now.

Once his hair is unavoidably dry, Momus drops the towel, where a disgruntled gorgon maid picks it up almost the instant it hits the floor. He finds his hand trailing down his neck, stroking along where he was... decapitated. But there are no marks at all. No signs that he came to any harm, as if his body is brand new.

This is the first time that Momus has “died” before, despite a lifetime of pissing people off. He realises that he does not like it and it'd probably be wise not to show his face around Elysium any time soon.

At the other end of the hallway, the king and queen have just managed to get that dog to settle down. Although this turns out to be short-lived, as not long after Momus's arrival, the Styx starts to bubble up again.

Is it that tiny blood god, sent back home to his parents to sob about his defeat to a mightier half-god?

Wait, no. It's...

_“...Heracles!”_

Even Momus can't hide his surprise when his giant friend rises up from the depths, looking positively enraged. It's definitely not the first time that Heracles has died, but since he's retired, it has been a long while. Momus hadn't been expecting this outcome and from the look of Heracles neither had he.

“A cheap shot! A cheater! I demand a rematch!” Heracles roars, punching his fist into the pool and sending Cerberus into another barking frenzy that he needs to be calmed down from.

Momus gets to his feet and walks over.

“Are you _seriously_ telling me that you got beat by such a small, nobody god who had, like, a day's worth of training at best?” Momus sneers.

Wrong answer.

The next thing Momus knows, he finds himself pinned down to the floor beneath Heracles's huge hand, while Heracles stares down at him, his eyes narrowed in anger. Behind them, Hypnos shifts as he's woken from his nap and Hades stands tall, as if about to confront the sudden violence in his home. Gods, this is not a big deal at all. Momus doesn't want it to turn into a scene any more than it already has done. He shifts to pull himself up onto his elbows, awkwardly looking back at the actual King and Queen of the Underworld, who are looking on at this.

“It's cool. It's not... like that.”

Definitely not going to get into details about his relationship with Heracles right now. His brother is even watching. Ugh. Momus wriggles out from under Heracles's hand, looking up at him instead.

“You did get beat, didn't you? Didn't you? There's no other reason why you'd be back here and raging about it.”

Heracles moodily glares at the wall; “...It wasn't a fair fight. Now you've finally got some justification to call me overrated, don't you? Soon it won't just be you saying that.”

Momus gives a mean little chuckle. Oh, Heracles would _love_ for someone other than just Momus to start talking bad about him, wouldn't he? When the whole world kisses Heracles's ass, Heracles finds some kind of cathartic release in the one god who doesn't. Namely Momus. And Momus doesn't want to share that with anyone.

“Eh, we keep it quiet and no one up there needs to know.”

Or so Momus thinks. Almost as soon as he says this, the House of Hades fills with a familiar swirl of crackling clouds and, when they clear, Heracles's equally obnoxious booming dad appears.

“He lost! My own son lost to yours, Hades. Can you believe it! Honestly, I don't know if I can. I had my coin on Heracles taking out your Zagreus for sure, but it looks like Zagreus surpasses the expectations of Olympus once again. I wish I could take him back home with me, but alas, it's not meant to be.”

Hades grumbles, but seems relieved that his son made it out of this all right; “Hmm. Well, we've all had quite enough of this pointless fighting for a while.”

“Come now, brother, I wouldn't call it pointless!” Zeus counters, giving Hades an unwanted slap on the back, “But you're right that there's been enough of it. Come now, son! I can't wait to tell everyone back home about this. Well, everyone who wasn't already watching, anyway. Which was almost everyone, I have to say.”

So much for no one needing to know...

Heracles marches forward, club at the ready.

“I refuse to accept such a defeat, Father! My cousin got a rematch when he asked for it, so why shouldn't I?”

Oh boy. Nope. Momus is not going back to Elysium and he's also not going to let Heracles storm around it unsupervised any more. He hurries after Heracles, climbing up his side and taking a seat on his shoulder, drawing his legs up and talking into his ear.

“Let's just go, okay? I'm done with this place.”

Despite all of his pride, despite all of his rage and whatever else is going on in his head, Heracles listens to Momus. He doesn't look directly to Momus, but his shoulders slouch as he accepts defeat.

“...Very well. The underworld is too cramped and drab, anyway. Father, we're going home.”

Looks like that's it, then. Momus might've lost his boost of power, gained a fear of death and they've both lost whatever holds they had on Theseus, it would seem, but at the end of the day, Momus still has his hold on the most overrated half-god in all of Greece and he's absolutely fine with this.  
  


* * *

  
Elysium will recover, as it always does. It's far from the first time that a half-god has rampaged through it, even if Zagreus's exploits are generally more contained than Heracles's near destruction of the coliseum. Theseus hates to describe Zagreus as “manageable”, but in this regard, that is the only word that fits. The bottom line is that no one was harmed. And, even if no shade could truly have been harmed regardless, this still feels like a victory.

The coliseum repairs itself via a mixture of magical means and hard work from his fellow shades. But decidedly not any hard work from the three of them, upon Asterius's insistence. Asterius isn't wrong that both Theseus and Zagreus have left their battles worse for the wear, even if both of them have endured much graver injuries in the past.

As they leave the coliseum, Zagreus looks back curiously at the shades repairing the walls. Theseus supposes that Zagreus has never stayed around long enough to see the repairs happening before, even if the blackguard seems well aware that his father does have to repair the realm after his many rampages.

“So, where are we going, then?” Zagreus asks.

“To the Lethe, of course, daemon.”

“Wait, daemon again? I thought we were on first-name terms now, Theseus?”

Zagreus picks up the pace, smirking across at him as they walk together. Theseus merely scoffs.

“You will always be a daemon to me.”

At that, Zagreus has the nerve to roll his eyes, looking instead to Asterius; “Why the Lethe then? Surely, you'll tell me, Asterius.”

“The waters will heal you,” Asterius answers plainly, as they reach the clearing that he's been leading them to. It is a familiar spot for both Asterius and Theseus; “You both need to rest and recover after your battles.”

An uncertain frown. Zagreus looks over the edge to the pale, cloudy waters where the Lethe has pooled into a lake.

“No memory loss, though? A lot has happened recently that I'd rather not forget.” It seems as if Zagreus looks a little flustered as he says this, although Theseus may just be imagining it.

“You would have to be full submerged and dawdling with intent,” Theseus says, “Just keep your head up and-”

A dive. Zagreus disappears below the surface and doesn't come back up.

_“-Hellspawn!_ ...Why must he be like this?”

“King, I am certain he'll be fine. We don't even know if the Lethe affects gods in the same way. Besides, I would... like to talk with you privately for a moment.”

Theseus turns from his disapproving glare at the lake to instead look up at Asterius. His dearest companion. The king's face softened considerably.

“Of course, my blessed friend. Please do speak your mind!”

Asterius shifts where he stands and Theseus can read him well enough to guess at the words, even before they come. It seems as if Theseus has struggled to come to terms with his own self-doubt, if that foul Momus drawing power from it is anything to go from, but Asterius's self-doubt is one thing that Theseus hopes he can put to rest for his friend.

“My king, what happened before, with the scrawny god, is shameful. I should never have believed his words for even a moment. I should never have doubted you, Theseus...”

Yes, this is exactly what Theseus had expected. He shifts closer to Asterius, laying a hand on his strong arm and smiling up at him.

“Do not dwell on it. We were both fooled by him. Given my own reaction, I cannot blame you for fearing the worst. I, myself, felt as if the truth was something that I needed to hide from you, the one who I am closer to than any other. It was my shame to do so. But these feelings for you do not stem from what he claimed, Asterius! I swear it!”

He just can't stop himself from becoming more passionate at the end, gripping tighter at Asterius's arm. To this, Asterius raises his other hand, stroking it fondly through Theseus's hair.

“King, wherever these feelings came from originally, I can see now what they have become. You've done so much for me when no other would. You've loved me. The short one... Zagreus, he helped me see that once more when I became blinded.” Asterius lowers his head to nuzzle against Theseus's hair; “...Besides, there is no shame in your lust. I feel the same for you.”

_“Asterius...!”_

Theseus finds himself caught off-guard once more. That seems to be happening a lot more lately. But he cannot let Asterius see him floundering in the face of such a bold confession! He lets go of Asterius's arm and instead puts his hands on his hips, laughing confidently, despite his burning face. Neither of them see Zagreus's head pop back up from the lake behind them to watch.

“Why, of course you do, my beautiful and beloved bovine friend! You are a man of excellent taste and that we both lust for each other only demonstrates this!”

That is a much more fitting response to Asterius's confession, surely. Yet, even if this is probably more along the lines of what Asterius expects from Theseus, after hearing these words, Asterius falters. Did... did Theseus say something wrong?

“There is... something else that I also wish to confess to, Theseus,” Asterius mumbles.

“By all means. Confess away!”

This time, Asterius does have Theseus lost to what he might mean. Perhaps he knows Asterius well enough to predict when he might doubt himself, but now that they've made their peace about what happened with Momus, Theseus isn't certain what else could be bothering him. He only knows that whatever he can do for Asterius's sake, he will do.

It takes a moment for Asterius to talk again, so it must be something that he struggles to put into words.

“You have... always been the one to hold my feelings. That will not change,” Asterius says, as if there's any doubt about that, “But lately... I have noticed that my feelings for the short one have changed. They have become more intense.”

Asterius has feelings for Zagreus. And he's awkwardly admitting to this, because he worries that it might affect whatever relationship the two of them may choose to have together. Despite that, not long ago, it was Asterius who walked in on Theseus dominating Zagreus (quite expertly, Theseus may add) and chose to join in with them. But that's exactly how Asterius is. He is kind and considerate and worries how his feelings may affect someone he cares about so much. Theseus won't allow those feelings to go to waste.

Besides, it isn't as if Asterius is the only one who has been feeling... _nngghh..._ somewhat _differently_ about Zagreus lately. Although perhaps in Theseus's case this change isn't as sudden as he's going to pretend that it is.

“Then you should embrace these feelings as well, Asterius! If that is what you and the blackguard so choose. Although given how desperately obvious he has been in his pining for you, I doubt that he would turn down your advances!” Theseus has the audacity to say this, even if no one pines more desperately for Asterius than he does. But then he allows himself to become gentler in his approach, since Asterius probably needs reassurance more than Theseus's bold proclamations right now; “...And do not ever worry about it affecting us, Asterius. You have my heart, as I have yours. If we- ...that is, if _you_ are to share yours with another, then I see no reason to doubt this.”

Asterius raises his head from on top of Theseus's, seeming more at ease. Perhaps this time, Theseus has said the right thing.

“You are kinder than you give yourself credit for, king. I think I see that more than anyone.”

“What are you talking about, Asterius? I give myself lots of credit! Because I am king and champion, therefore I deserve it!”

He's putting on a front and they both know it, but this is necessary. It's always been necessary. Perhaps in time, Theseus will come to believe his own boasting. After all, he's now seen how powerful his self-loathing became, would that Momus use it as he did. He shall work on it. For Asterius's sake, if not his own. And perhaps also the blackguard-

...Wait. _The blackguard!_

Theseus turns back to the lake, but Zagreus has disappeared back down below the surface again now.

“Asterius, he has been beneath the waters the whole time that we've been talking! You don't think that he's drowned, do you? Would that he treats death as such a trifle!”

“No, my king, he would've floated back to the surface had that been the case. We would also have heard him drowning.”

But Theseus is already crouching down over the bank now, peering into the rich, swirling waters below. The Styx would take him immediately if he'd drowned, wouldn't it?

“This doesn't make any sense! Even the hellspawn shoul- ...Blackguard! _Nooo!”_

That's as much as Theseus manages to get out before Zagreus surges up out of the waters as if guided by Poseidon himself, slinging his arms around Theseus's shoulders to pull him down with him into the lake. There's a loud splash and much floundering before Theseus rights himself, coughing out water and glaring savagely at Zagreus, who seems ridiculously pleased with himself. Above them, Theseus can hear Asterius quietly chuckling. This is most embarrassing!

“Guess I won that round, king,” Zagreus cheers, drifting further back as Theseus angrily splashes water at him.

“The only thing you have won, daemon, is the duty to clean up my thoroughly soaked chiton! The nerve that you have!” Theseus huffs, “And yours, too! Do you not have any sort of standards?”

Zagreus shrugs, shifting to take off his own clothes whilst still in the water and then slinging them up on the side, as Theseus does the same.

“You both wanted to talk, didn't you? I didn't want to interrupt you by throwing my skulls around,” Zagreus claims.

As he says this, Theseus eyes the adornment that Zagreus puts on the edge of the water, featuring what looks like the skulls of a three-headed dog. Only once has Theseus encountered the real Cerberus himself and he still feels somewhat bad about it. Despite everything, he finds himself asking of it.

“That hell-hound still resides in your home, does he not? How did he take to seeing Heracles? His defeat of the hound was legendary, after all.”

Not so much Theseus's involvement in the whole affair, which is barely a footnote in Heracles's story.

“Wait... Heracles fought my dog? That would explain why Cerberus was so put-out when he first arrived. I hope he's doing all right now... No wonder my father was in such a hurry to head back home. Well, other than to have an excuse to get away from Uncle Zeus, I suppose. I'll be sure to give Cerberus a few extra pets when I get home to make up for what he's been through.”

So, Cerberus really is just Zagreus's pet dog? That makes the whole situation of fighting him to get out of the underworld feel all the worse, even if it was a long time ago now. All the same, Theseus assumes that Cerberus will be as glad as the rest of them once Heracles is gone.

Speaking of that.

“Blackguard, you did... _ugh,_ you did well to defeat that wretched oaf after such a short amount of training. I am not too proud to admit that what you did was impressive!”

Even if he knows Zagreus won't let him live down admitting it. Sure enough, Zagreus leans in a little too close for comfort, grinning from ear to ear.

“Did you see when I destroyed him using the exact method you told me not to? I did that just for you, king.”

Theseus sighs and presses his hand against Zagreus's face to push him away, instead turning to look back to Asterius; “Won't you join us, fine Asterius? Lest I deal with this monster alone.”

“Of course, my king, but in due time,” Asterius answers, standing up straight, “The two of you are the ones who need to heal. I will return to the coliseum to check in with them and then come back to you soon.”

This is met with a reaction of double-disappointment, as no doubt Zagreus was just as keen to have Asterius join them as Theseus was. But there truly is no arguing with Asterius once he's made his mind up. So after conceding defeat, Theseus nods.

“Do not tarry, my friend! We will eagerly await your return.”

“I know you will, Theseus. I am glad.”

Theseus watches Asterius as he walks away, only snapping out of it when Zagreus returns to his usual mockery.

“You know, I used to think you were in charge of the relationship between you two, but now I'm not so sure,” Zagreus hums.

“Asterius knows that he can speak his mind around me. We have that respect,” Theseus stubbornly insists. He turns back to Zagreus, who already looks more like his usual, radiant self from where the Lethe has healed his wounds; “...Although it _is_ down to you that we were able to finally cross that bridge.”

“Huh. You sure are admitting to a lot of good things that I've done today. I'm surprised that alone hasn't killed you. I haven't even told you the good news about Heracles yet.”

“Fear not! I shall vent out my many frustrations upon you next time we face on the field of battle and I destroy you, with Asterius as my witness! Also, what news of Heracles do you mean? I know already that you defeated him!”  
  
The smugness remains as Zagreus lets Theseus into the news; "...Your pact with him is broken, king. I made a deal with him. If he lost, then it would be considered null and void, so he'll leave you in peace. Which he'll have to do now."  
  
"Blackguard, you did that for me?"  
  
"I did promise that I would."  
  
Theseus regards him carefully; "I know plenty of gods and heroes. He would not have agreed to such terms unless he was getting something in return."  
  
"Does it matter? I won."  
  
"It matters to me."  
  
"All right, soo I might've agreed that if he won, I'd trade places with you and take on your debt."  
  
No. That isn't acceptable. Theseus reaches forward, taking Zagreus's face in his hands and gripping it a little harsher than he intends as he speaks; "I would never have permitted you to do that! He would've abused such a right to gain power for himself in a way that simply having a pact with me would not have granted him. Would that you foolishly put yourself at risk!"  
  
"Maybe, but... I had to help you. If that's the only way I could get him to agree to it, then I'd never back down. With or without your approval."  
  
Theseus sighs, releasing Zagreus's face; "Would that in another life you may have been a hero instead of a god. You have the makings of it. Perhaps you are both. I am... grateful for you giving me my freedom, but if you respect me as an equal, then I beg of you that you never throw your own freedom away like that for mine again. I would not wish to lose you as my greatest rival, hellspawn!"

“Yeah, I had been meaning to ask about that,” Zagreus confesses, looking curiously concerned, “So things have... happened between us. All three of us. I don't know how that will affect everything else. Tomorrow, I'll be rampaging through the underworld again on my father's name, same as I have been for so long. Yet... this...?”

Zagreus gestures between Theseus and himself, not knowing how to put it into words.

“Then tomorrow, we will greet you and fight you as always and none of us shall hold back!” Theseus says, without hesitation, “But if perhaps another time you wish to see Asterius and myself – alone or together – outside of the coliseum, then Elysium will lead you to us. You know where we reside now.”

That seems to be the answer that Zagreus needed to hear. He looks almost relieved. There is a strange, unclear line between not wanting anything to change between them, but also wanting everything to change between them. In the underworld, where they have an eternity of time and space to explore, Theseus does not see why they can't try to have it both ways.

“In that case, I think I'll be mixing it up a bit from now on. You'll never know whether I'm coming to kill you or kiss you, king. ...Oh gods, that sounded terrible, didn't it?”

Theseus shifts closer in the water, reaching his arm around to place behind Zagreus and pull him closer.

“Yes, blackguard, it did!”

Despite the daemon's atrocious choice of words, Theseus deems fit to reward him with another kiss, which Zagreus melts into. It is as if he craves affection, which Theseus can admittedly understand. They linger like this for perhaps a few moments too long, but Theseus pulls back before he can become too worked up. After all, there is something else of import that he wishes to speak with Zagreus about before Asterius returns.

Zagreus is smiling at him dumbly, but Theseus just shakes his head.

“T'was naught but a kiss, hellspawn. You might want to pull yourself together!”

“If you say so, Theseus.”

“I do say so! And there is something else that I would like to say.”

“Go on, you can tell me how you've been secretly lusting after me the whole time we've been enemies, but I do know that already.”

“I will tell you no such thing!” Theseus retorts, “But what I do wish to say is a matter of some seriousness. It is for Asterius.” As soon as he says that, Theseus has Zagreus's full attention; “You do not owe us anything and I would not ask you to run errands on our behalf. But I am aware that you traverse these realms more freely than the two of us. There is a... a woman, by the name of Ariadne. You occasionally bring her cursed yarn into battle with you. You know that she is Asterius's sister, do you not? He has mentioned this before.”

“Yes, I remember him bringing it up that it was making him upset when you insulted her.”

“A-ah? Yes. Quite. Well, I mention her now because Asterius could never freely speak with her in life and I feel that he would've liked to and have reason to believe that she would like to speak to him in return. He is too selfless to ask this of you himself, so I ask on his behalf: If you ever see her during your travels, if there are any ways that you could pass on the message that he thinks or her or even arrange for some way that they could meet, then I would be forever grateful to you, Zagreus.”

“There's my name again, you must be serious. But yes, that isn't a problem. I'm quite familiar with sneaking a look at shade contracts in the administrative chamber at this point. Besides, it'll give me something different to do and I'm always glad for a break from the usual.” After saying this, he smirks across at Theseus, “Although all of this has been quite the break from the usual.”

“You can say that again, blackguard!” Theseus agrees, but then he puts a finger to Zagreus's lips before the blackguard can literally say it again to annoy him, “...And I thank you. This will mean a lot to Asterius, which in turn will mean a lot to me.”

“Maybe as a reward you can grant me bed privileges next time I visit your room.”

“Hmm, I will consider this!”

“You're impossible, Theseus.”

“As are you!”

It is perhaps fortunate for them both that Asterius chooses to return to this point, none the wiser to what they have just discussed, but probably surprised that the two of them have neither killed one another or began to pound one another on the bank of the Lethe in a different way. Instead, Asterius is greeted by two faces who are glad to see him, as always.

“Asterius! Does all go well at the coliseum?”

Asterius reaches them, beginning to undress while they both watch him without shame. He nods in answer to Theseus's question; “Lord Hades has sent more shades from Tartarus to assist. I feel that soon the coliseum will be completely repaired.” He looks towards Zagreus; “Your fan was asking for your safety, short one. I assured them that you are well.”

“I'm glad to hear it! You know, if I'm going to be hanging around Elysium more often, perhaps I'll finally get a chance to meet them and talk with them properly.”

Upon hearing this, Theseus pouts.

“Why would you wish to waste time with that shade, when you could instead bask in the glory of Asterius and myself?”

“Jealous much, king?” Zagreus taunts.

“I most certainly am not!”

At this, Asterius lowers himself into the waters himself, once more distracting them from their bickering with the simple act of his presence. Perhaps Asterius realises that this is a power that he has over them. Theseus sees no reason to object to it. Zagreus and himself break apart from the hold they have on each other, instead swimming across to take to Asterius's side. Zagreus even has the cheek to lift up one of Asterius's arms and place it around himself! Yet before Theseus can comment on this, Asterius puts his free arm around Theseus, so that he's holding both of them on each side. This feels nice... Theseus could get used to this. He feels that he isn't the only one.

“The two of you both look healed. The Lethe has performed its task,” Asterius says, sounding content as he regards them both, “I will be glad not to need to worry about either of you so much for a little while.”

“Aww, you really do care, Asterius!” Zagreus gleefully retorts, “Yet you don't seem to worry about me so much when you're driving your axe into me.”

“That is our battle of our choice,” Asterius insists, “The dangers you both faced against the scrawny god and your cousin could not be predicted in such a way.”

“You're right, I suppose. Hey, that reminds me, you both saw how my battle with Heracles went, but we never did see what became of Momus. I suppose you must've managed to defeat him, Theseus, seeing as you're here and he isn't?”

Both of them look across to Theseus now. He internally hesitates about how much he needs to tell them of how Momus's powers affected him or even how Theseus turned Momus's own insecurities back on him to take him down. It is rare that Theseus doesn't want to brag about something when he has the chance to. But he's still processing a lot of what occurred himself. As long as Momus shall no longer put the three of them at risk, that is all that matters now.

“That blow-hard was all bark and no bite! Why, I easily managed to dispatch him not long after the two of you left and I regret that you were not able to see my victory!”

Neither of them are fooled into thinking this is the full story, but they respect him enough to not ask for more details. Perhaps one day, when Theseus finally overcomes a life and afterlife of being the most self-conscious person to ever exist, he might divulge more. But for now, this is enough.

“Then I rest in the knowledge that you both sent them home with their tails between their legs,” Asterius concludes.

“I'm sure I'll be hearing about it when I return to the house,” says Zagreus, “I'll pass it onto you both if there's anything interesting said next time I come up here. Although honestly, I hope I can just tell you that they went back to Olympus.” Zagreus nestles his head against Asterius's fluffy chest for a moment, basking in the warmth, before letting out a sigh, “...Actually, I really should head back there soon. It's been a while and I wouldn't want the house to get too peaceful without me.”

He looks to Theseus with intent for a moment. Undoubtedly, Zagreus plans to search for Ariadne's contract as soon as he is able. Theseus hadn't intended that Zagreus need to drop everything to do this for them, but he also knows that Zagreus is the sort to throw himself completely into doing anything he can to help others. Zagreus is honourable like that. Theseus can admit this in his own mind.

“Be that as it may, you can... stay here for a while longer. If that is what you wish, blackguard! F-for Asterius's sake, you must understand! He has had less time with you than I!”

“Theseus, are you seriously planning on keeping up this whole act, even now that I know for certain that you like me?”

“Of course I am, daemon!”

“Riiight. Just thought I'd check. But sure, I'd be glad to spend a lot more time with Asterius. Want to give us some privacy?”

“I most certainly do not!”

“Thought so.”

“In that case, be glad that I wish to spend time with you both,” Asterius cuts in, turning his head from one side to the other to nuzzle at them both in turn, “Let us just enjoy the peace for a while before me part ways, short one.”

That is certainly something that they can all agree upon. The peace, while it may not be a silent one so long as Theseus and Zagreus are involved, shall endure.  
  


* * *

  
The lack of time in the underworld does not fase Asterius quite as much as it does some of the other shades. His solitary existence in the labyrinth has perhaps affected his perception of time in itself, but he does not let that bother him now. He is here, residing as a champion in Elysium, all because of Theseus's insistence. Now more than ever, Asterius is content.

Yet there is one more aspect that he feels could improve the state of everything. For Theseus's sake.

The short one is leaving them at last. It shall not be long before he returns to Elysium again, Asterius knows this, yet even so, Asterius seeks him out before he leaves. For once, Zagreus is heading back down through Asphodel, instead of up to the surface.

“Zagreus?”

The prince turns upon hearing his name called him him and, much like Theseus, his eyes light up when he sees it's Asterius. The Minotaur knows not what he did to deserve two people to think of him so highly.

“Yes, Asterius? Did you come to see me off with a kiss?”

“Perhaps. But that aside, I have something to ask of you that I could not say in front of our king.”

_“Your_ king- ...Eh, you know what? I'll let you have that one. Our king,” Zagreus says, resting against his spear as he regards Asterius, “So, what is it you want to ask?”

“It is a favour that I would like to ask of you, short one. On his behalf. For he is too proud and ashamed to ask of this himself,” says Asterius, “You may know that Theseus had a father who he cared for dearly, who died due to his mistake.”

“You know, I'd heard conflicting tales about that. Some shades think that he let his father die on purpose to take the throne, but that's just not Theseus. I'm not surprised to hear that the truth of the matter is that it was an accident.”

“Theseus has more honour than that,” Asterius insists. Those shades who spread false rumours best not cross paths with Asterius; “He also blames himself for what happened. I know this, even if he chooses not to speak of it. I feel that... if there is any way that he could speak with his father again, it might bring him peace in this regard.”

Zagreus lifts an eyebrow, smiling in a way that suggests he knows something that Asterius does not.

“So, you want me to see if I could find his father for him? You know, I think I just might be able to slot that in between another job that I'm doing.”

“I would be forever in your debt, Zagreus.”

“Please, no more talk of debts. I think we're all done with that after Heracles. I'll do this because I care about you both and I want to make you happy where I can. No payback necessary.”

At this, Asterius comes over and presses his head to Zagreus's spiky hair, a kiss in his own way.

“Thank you, Zagreus.”

“What are you both doing, saying goodbye without me!”

The quiet moment is broken by Theseus marching across. He places his hands on his hips when he reaches them.

Asterius might not be good at making excuses, but luckily for him, Zagreus knows how to press Theseus's buttons to distract him better than anyone.

“Why, we were just planning to get you a little anniversary gift to celebrate the first time I utterly destroyed you in battle, Theseus. You've ruined the surprise now.”

“W-well, I have plenty of trophies for destroying you, blackguard! Perhaps next time I'll be adding another to my collection!”

“Hah, in your dreams, king!” Zagreus reaches forward, flipping Theseus's nose, “And I _know_ you'll be dreaming of me tonight.”

Theseus flusters and bats his hand away.

“Be off with you, Zagreus! Do you not have other matters to attend?”

Zagreus takes a few steps backwards, holding out his hands and sighing dramatically; “Unfortunately, I do. As much as I wish I could stay. But I'll be back and I hope that I can bring good news for both of you when I do.”

Asterius is so busy looking worried that Zagreus might reveal too much that he fails to notice Theseus looking worried about the exact same thing.

Zagreus, who's holding all the cards, merely winks at both of them.

“I'll see you both later. In or out of the coliseum. I haven't decided yet, so it can be a surprise.”

“We will be prepared for you either way!”

Theseus clutches his spear as he makes this statement. Yet Zagreus seems as unfazed as always, giving them both one last fond smile, before turning to dash away through the gate that will take him back down to Asphodel.

Once he is gone, Theseus relaxes his stance.

“Do you think that... all will be well with this, Asterius? It is different, but I don't feel that either of us can deny our feelings now. At least, I know I can't.”

Theseus claims this, despite denying his feelings for Zagreus every time he's been pressed about them. Asterius loves this man. He would never change him.

“King, all will be well. We all deserve this and we shall have it. I am certain in that,” Asterius concludes.

“Ah, you are right as always, my friend... My eternal partner.”

Yes. Asterius likes the sound of that. He reaches down to lift the unprotesting Theseus into his arms, holding him now in death as he never could in life. This has been worth the wait.

“Let us return to your chambers, my king. My Theseus.”

There are no objections to that. Theseus and Asterius part ways with Zagreus for now, but not for long. There is no more threat or guilt or blame sewn by the very God of Blame himself. There is only the love they have for each other. And soon enough, Theseus and Asterius will both be reunited with their lost family, although neither yet knows it. Zagreus will ensure that.  
  
The battle is over at last.

The king may have his specific tastes, but he no longer has his specific regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **EDIT:** I got some super cool fan art for the fic, because it turns out y'all love to hate Momus as much as I do! Sharing them here so you can check them out:
> 
> [Momus and Heracles by MarcTheMarcel](https://twitter.com/MarcTheMarcel/status/1371550514412945414)
> 
> [Momus x 2 by beebo_bot](https://twitter.com/beebo_bot/status/1371687175738298369)
> 
> [Momus, Heracles and Theseus bullying by MarcTheMarcel](https://twitter.com/MarcTheMarcel/status/1372240081457668105)
> 
> \---
> 
> ...And we're done! What more can I say but thank you for reading this? Well, a lot more, since I don't know when to shut up any more than Theseus does. But the tl;dr version is that you folks are awesome!
> 
> For a bit more waffle, the feedback I've gotten on this fic has been simply amazing. I come from writing rarepairs in small fandoms, so I've never had this many comments on a fic before. I have had fics that have gotten more views and kudos than this one, but comments really are the lifeblood and hearing back from you all is what inspired me to work as hard on this as I have done.
> 
> I've especially loved everyone's reactions to Momus and Heracles, because I just love writing jerks so much. It's because you folks asked for them that they got their little scene at the start of this chapter. Although, on that note, all the way through this fic I'd been toying with the idea of adding a bonus chapter at the end that was purely a smut scene between Momus and Heracles. But I think we saw what we needed to see of their relationship here (basically, Heracles gets it off on being degraded and Momus tops from the bottom).
> 
> The Theseus myths were also a lot of fun to work with and I ended up with some leftover that I didn't use. Mostly the Dionysus & Ariadne part, since there was no way to work that in until after the Labyrinth and I wanted the Labyrinth to be the conclusion of the flashbacks. But maybe another time in another fic.
> 
> As for what comes next, I do hope to write more Theseus fics in future, because I love this fandom that he has and there's also not nearly enough TheseZag in the world, so I wanna put more of that out there. I do actually have another multichapter Hades fic that I've been working on for a lot longer than this one. About 24+ chapters have already been drafted, but they need a lot of editing before I can post them. The working title is _"zagreus unionises the underworld (and other things that could benefit hypnos)"._ It's more of an all-cast fic than this one was, with Hypnos, Hermes and Zagreus as the main characters. Theseus and Asterius are in it, but not as prominently as in this fic, although they do get a chapter dedicated to them fucking each other.
> 
> Also, this has nothing to do with anything, but I have to gush about this. [My roomates went and got the actual Cyrus Nemati to record me a birthday message as Theseus and then filmed my reaction.](https://twitter.com/TheScruffyCat/status/1370084362574835718) So enjoy that if you want to hear Theseus wishing happy birthday to a screaming person you don't know!
> 
> Anyway, I think that's about everything. Just, thank you so much once again. I hope you've enjoyed this fic and that I can make more content for you all to enjoy in future.


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